“Um”, fillers, pauses and stammers

Put your seat belts on kids.

Egads!

We are in for a rocky ride.

Ahem!

We will not be lovin’ eye contact anytime soon.

Hurrah!

We have each other to hold on to.

Er!

What do you mean by that?

Boo!

I don’t like you. I like the other one.

Jeepers!

Where’d you get those peepers.

Ouch!

I did not think you noticed.

Phooey!

I don’t care if you noticed.

Amen!

He is around us to hold our hand.

Wow!

To the Amen he is around us to hold our hand.

Shucks!

He is around us to hold our hand.

Humbled!

He is around us to hold our hand.

Golly!

He is the bestest of the best.

Hey!

Would you like to hear about Him!

Psst!

He is not a secret, he is invisibly around all day, every day.

Huh?

You ask.

Oh!

I understand.

Rah!

I cheer for His cheerfulness.

Phew!

I share this with you!

Seriously.

Friendly fire can be the worst kind🔥. Of fire.

Best to be prepared.

So. Let’s dive right in.🌊

We begin:🤜🏻🤛🏻

Lesson One-um: (🤣)

Spitting out the words is the hardest part.

The hardest part.

Especially at our ripe young ages, ripe old ages, bodily changes and mood swings.

It is a wonder any of us are even standing up at this point in time when all that is left is the dreaded um word—the linking crutch—to keep the conversation going. It happens to all of us. While speaking, while nervous, while distracted, at a loss for what comes next. (hbr) A loss for…..words. Due to situational circumstances.

You know!

I know.

I know I do not know what to say next…….

Sooooooooooooooo.

Fill up the empty space of awkwardness with more awkwardness.

Lesson Two-um(😂)

Stand up!

Yes.

Stop using the dreaded “crutch” word. You think. I wish I could…. but in reality it is really holding my heart in from coming out of my mouth. When words won’t come out……..prayerfully, the legs will still support you unhesitatingly..after all this time.

He who hesitates is lost. Vacillation and delay have disastrous consequences.

The opposite of a sell out, the opposite of a stand up person.

We get rattled, and our ums pop out of our mouth like popcorn—the ums along with the tums😌

When we need to collect and connect our thoughts.

Um is there for us.

Lesson Three-um(🥹)

The influential in fluency of disfluencies. They break the flow of fluent speech.(wk)

In track and field and American football these breaks in action are sometimes called “false starts”.😼 How to see anything through the bulky helmets, is beyond my comprehension.🤨

In deception, they are sometimes called “slips of the tongue”. Correcting oneself before another can correct us.😬. Embarrassingly so. No one LIKES to be corrected. But it does happen. Does have to happen.

Um. What were we talking about?

Oh.

Yea.

Break ups.

In sentences, life and ongoing communication.

Lesson Four-um(😁)

Um is universal.

Non-discriminatory even.

Um is language dependent.

Um is universal.

Americans use um or em

British use uh or eh

French use euh

Germans use ah eh er

Dutch use eh

Japnese use ano

Spanish use ehhh

Latin Americans use este

Portugese use ha or e

To name a few. There are more examples of the languages of all the beautiful people in our world.

Maybe that is why the easiest way to make a point is to simply.

Stand up.

The hidden wounds are the ones worth probing. Give it a whirl.

ums and all.

Lesson Five-um(😆)

Keep it light.

How many “ums” does it take to screw in a lightbulb?😂

No. No. No.

But in face to face speaking to another, sometimes the ums are the majority of the story. And it is what it is. The best we may have: When your face lights up when you see them, an indicator that it is good! All is good.

Hmmmmm!

Gotcha thinking.

Right!

I know!

And, sometimes that is more than half of the battle. To have the courage to walk up to another we are afraid to even talk to. And say, Hello.

Lesson Six-um(😉)

We all feel the same way.

Scared of rejection.

If the ums are there to pave the way.

So be it.

Lesson Seven-um(😃)

There is always the um in the huh.

And it is universal.

So. When you find yourself taking face to face with another, start it off with a huh! At least it is a start! Huh is recognized as the most recognized universal syllable throughout the world. It is an interrogative which crosses geography, language, cultures and nationalities.(wk)

Works for me!

Lesson Eight-um(😁)

Ask questions.

The who, what, where, when, why and how of the matter.

How are you?

Until later, it may be best to shelve the “who are you” until after a couple of coffee dates……🫤 Decaf, of course. Open to debatable debate, I suppose. Hidden deep within…the truth of the matter.

Lesson Nine-um(🤪)

Relax.

Really.

It is ok.

I am ok.

You are ok.

It’ll all be ok.

It will.

I cannot promise you.

But you really are in control of you!🫵🏻

In the middle of the ums, uhs and ohs is a person.

You.

and that is good.

So.

Just go with that.

and

Him.

Various experts have studied the ums and outs of the ums and outs.

So these fillers, stammers and pauses are considered more important than have been given credit for.🤔Worth delving into this idea. Of supposed imperfection. There is only one perfect being.

Him.

And.

Hmmmm..

I think we are on to something important here.

Makes no difference the color of our skin, what is on the outside.

What is on the inside is what drives us. Around. Sometimes ‘round and ‘round, dizzingly so😵

Penalties, Errors, Stammers, Fillers and Mistakes.

Some think the ums are errors in performance and not part of proper language.

Say what?

Um.

I beg to differ.

They are also considered collateral signals essential to successful communication in everyday situations and are beneficial to listeners.(wk)

Huh!

How ‘bout that.

Either way. Either perspective. As a whole: Important: The whole story has yet to be told. Recollections may vary(QE).

Lesson Ten-um (😌)

Fast twitch.

Slow twitch.

When you meet up with a person you may like to talk with and you begin to twitch.

It is ok.

You are ok.

I am ok.

It will all be ok.

We are ok.

Lesson Eleven-um(😇)

If it becomes too much.

Smile. As best you want.

Wish upon them the best of days,

And.

No. No need to turn and run like the dickens.

Walk away confident that you stood up.

Took a first step.

To stand up.

For you, yourself and yours.

And.

For what you believe in…

You! Yourself! And Yours!

Hurrah!

Hallelujah!

Amen!

Way to go!

Awesome!

Rah!

For you!🤸‍♀️🤸🤸‍♀️🤸

Golly!

Shucks!

Hey!

I knew you could do it all along!😃