Love and a Fantasy

“I’ll just have a coffee and a blueberry muffin, please.” His voice was gruff, sandy at the edges and yet soft on the consonants. He brushed jet black hair onto his face to obscure his dark brown eyes from the server. 

She jotted his order down and smiled at him, just barely parting full lips to reveal crystalline white teeth. It was a smile which tore his mind in two. “Is that all?” Her voice was throaty and velvet textured, with just the hint of a New York accent on a few of her vowels. 

“Yes,” he said quietly, giving her a nod. 

She turned to leave, but swiveled back and narrowed her eyes. “You come in here a lot, don’t you?” she asked. 

He cleared his throat and pursed his lips - it was the closest he could come to a smile. “Yes,” he answered, barely meeting her gaze. 

“Oh… Do you go to school around here?” 

He nodded slightly. “I’m in pre-med at Duke.” 

Her eyes brightened. “Oh, no way! I’m in biomedical engineering at Duke, but I don’t think I could survive pre-med. What’s your name? Maybe we have a class together.”

Each moment the conversation lingered, he felt his heart tighten in his chest. “I’m David Smith.” 

“I’m Samantha Fuller. But I go by Sammy. What year are you?”

David pursed his lips again and said, “Uh… I’m a senior.” 

“Hm. I’m a senior too. Are you in any classes I might be taking?” 

He turned away to hide his face, saying softly, “I… can’t say.”

She turned her head down and looked across the table. A girl had just sat down there and was giving Sammy a shrewd staredown. The waitress took out her pad and said, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you come in. Can I get you anything?”

“A mocha latte and a blueberry scone,” she said, her voice cold. 

“Coming right up,” Sammy put away her pad and rushed back behind the counter, her mid ponytail of chocolate brown hair bobbing as she went. It came down and touched the top of her back lightly, as though it were afraid to harm her delicate hazelnut shaded skin. 

David turned to the blond haired girl across from him and managed a smile, even if it didn’t reach his eyes. “Hey,” he said, clearing his throat again. 

“Are you still sick?” she asked, reaching across and brushing the hair out of his face. 

He shook his head. “Nah, I’m just trying to make my voice sexier.” 

She laughed. “Well, keep it up.” 

“Alright, I’ll just stay sick forever then, Makayla,” he teased. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Oh, stop it,” she said, taking some chapstick out from her purse. “How was class today?”

“Well, you know Darnell… ask one question and get four answers, none of which make any sense,” David shrugged and finished, “It was alright, I guess.” 

“Any reason we’re meeting here?” Makayla asked, putting the chapstick away and pressing her pink lips together before bright teeth. 

David furrowed his brow. “I always come to Patty’s Sweets and Pastries on Thursday afternoons after class.”

“But this is the first time you’ve invited me.” 

He looked away, tapping his foot on the ground. “You’re always in class around this time, and I’m tied up on all the other days. I used to come here every afternoon in sophomore year, but that was before…”

“Before we met,” she finished, looking directly at him with limpid sea green eyes rimmed by long brown eyelashes.

“Before we started dating,” he corrected, “We met in freshman year, remember?” It was his turn to brush away a hair from her face, but for Makayla that meant blond hair which reflected the sunlight like a field of wheat on an autumn day.

She smiled, creating slight dimples in her cheeks. “You thought I was so annoying.”

“I did not!”

Makayla shook her head. “You did too! You sat behind me in Psych and you hated me.”

“I hated the people you hung out with,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “They would talk all throughout class, and joke around like… like this school and our future is something to be joked around with.”

“You crack jokes in class too, sometimes.”

“Let’s change the subject, okay?” David spied Sammy coming back with their food and coffees, and he leaned back to make room on the table. 

Makayla gave him a coy smile. “You just hated my boyfriend, right?” 

“What? No way! He was… alright.” 

Before she could reply, Sammy said, “Sorry to interrupt, but I have one black coffee and a blueberry muffin for you, David… And I have one mocha latte and a blueberry scone for Makayla.” 

“How d’you know my name?” asked Makayla, raising her eyebrows. 

“I just overheard you guys talking when I was walking over,” said Sammy smoothly. A loud crash from behind her made them all turn; children had just tipped over a rack of homemade saltwater taffy, sending the whole assortment of brightly colored candy flying across the floor. “Hey!” shouted Sammy, “Come back here right now!” The kids put a few in their pockets and ran out of the store, causing the little bell on the door to jingle anticlimactically. 

“Idiots,” David said, frowning.

Another server came over and looked at the mess. “You want me to get that, Sammy?”

She shook her head. “No, just take my tables. Half this business is selling candy, you’d think Patty would hire someone to look after that part of the shop. Especially this close to Valentine’s Day.”

“Or just make two shops,” muttered David. 

Sammy caught the remark and smiled before she headed off to pick up the mess. The other server said, “Looks like you just got your food. Do you need anything else?”

Makayla looked at David, who shook his head. She answered, “No, I think we’re good for now, thanks.”

“Alright. Well, my name’s Brian, so just holler if you need me, okay?” He smiled and went to assist another table - one with a child who had just spilled hot chocolate all over himself. 

There were a few moments of silence in which the college couple sipped cautiously at their coffee and bit into their pastries. David nodded in satisfaction, and Makayla followed suit. Someone opened the coffeeshop-side door, which let in a draft of cold wind. “It’s really picked up since I got here,” Makayla observed. 

“Yeah, I barely felt anything when you came in.”

After a few more bites of scone, Makayla looked at David with trepidation in her eyes and began, “So… we’ve been dating for five months, y’know.”

“Next week’s our monthly anniversary,” acknowledged David, his eyes drifting a little to the mirror by the door in which he could see Sammy crouched down on the floor, picking up little taffy’s with her luxurious hair shifting around her face. 

“Right,” said Makayla. 

David snapped his eyes back to her and said, “Sorry, what?”

She arched her eyebrows. “Nothing… I just said that… you’re right.” 

“Oh,” he felt his face heat up and knew he would blush if his caramel skin tone allowed it. “My bad.” 

Something curious lingered in her eyes - a hint of understanding which was quickly forced away as she smiled widely, the perfect makeup on her face causing her visage to glow in the shop’s lighting. “So anyway,” she began, a little nervous, “this Monday is President’s Day… three day weekend.” 

“I know.” David sipped his coffee aggressively, ignoring his burning tongue. He remembered something from some lecture about not drinking scalding hot liquid, as it could increase the risk of esophageal cancer in the future, but it was all he could do to prevent looking at the mirror. 

“Well… My parents are coming down to visit me.” She waited for him to reply, which he did not, so she continued, “And… I just think it would be great if we all had dinner sometime.”

David blinked rapidly. “With your parents?”

“My brother would be there too,” she said quickly. “But essentially, yeah… with my family.”

He took a few breaths to collect himself. “I… think it’s a great idea.” 

“You do?” she asked.

“Sure,” David nodded. “I’ve never met any girl’s parents before, but it should be yours, Makayla. It’ll be fun.”

“Oh David,” she leaned across the table and kissed him, her lips burning on his face like a sin. “They’ll be so excited!” 

“I… I’m excited too.” He tried to smile but his cheeks wouldn’t work with him. 

Makayla kissed him again. “So, a few things about my parents - I’ll tell you everything you need to know this weekend before they come up here, don’t worry. But my dad, he’s a big UNC fan, so just don’t mention the basketball team, okay?”

“I think I can manage that,” said David. In his three and a half years and Duke, he hadn’t once felt the urge to watch guys throw around a leathery ball on a court. 

“My dad also likes a very specific beer - it’s called St. Pauli Girl. I don’t know if we can find it here - it’s a German beer, but maybe he’d like Heineken?”

“That’s from Amsterdam.”

She waved a hand. “Whatever, same difference. I’ll ask him tonight. My mom is much easier to please. She doesn’t like sports and she doesn’t drink much, but she does like Twilight a lot. And when I say ‘a lot’, I mean a lot.” 

“Gross. I’ll try to avoid that subject too,” he took a long draft of coffee. 

She copied him and wiped her face, missing a spot on the corner of her lip. “Unless you want a two hour Twilight lecture, that’d be a good idea. My brother’s pretty chill. Just let him lead the conversation and you’ll be alright. He’s much more mellow around my parents, too.” 

“Duly noted.” He gave a half-salute, which made her giggle. 

“Stop it,” she said playfully. David chuckled hoarsely while she took another sip of coffee with a bite of scone. “I need to find the girl’s bathroom. Promise you won’t run off?”

“I promise,” he whispered. 

“I love you,” she said with a bright smile. 

“Wait,” he said, causing her to stop just as she began getting up. David reached across the table with a napkin and gently brushed away the foam stuck on her lip. He even gave her a quick peck for good measure, though it felt dirty. Her eyes twinkled as he sat back. “I love you too.”

Sammy had finished picking up the taffy and was now assisting an elderly woman with a selection of licorice. Her features were reflected elegantly in the mirror - strong eyebrows, large, round eyes with proportional and naturally thick black eyelashes, and her eyes… In the afternoon sun beaming through the windows of the shop, Sammy’s eyes were like pools of honey with little streaking lines of dark syrup running within them. High cheekbones gave way to a gently sloping jaw, which culminated with a soft yet sturdy jawline, always round and deceptively warm and inviting, as though it and her cheek were asking to be held by a soft hand during a kiss. Sammy’s nose was small with a strong bridge and turned up slightly at the end, and her lips were full and always quick to a smile. David caught himself staring into the mirror and stopped, as at that moment he caught her eye and she began walking over to him. 

“You need anything?” she asked, her voice falling like silk upon his ears. 

David cleared his throat and said, “Just another coffee, please.” 

She looked into his cup and saw that it was still half-full.

He quickly added, “To go… Coffee to go, please.”

Sammy smiled and went back to the counter to begin ringing someone up. David looked at her for a moment and then stared at his muffin. Truthfully, it had been her from the beginning. David was listed as a biomedical engineer himself, so he had in fact shared many a class with her. The first time he’d laid his eyes on her he’d known she was different from the rest of the girls at Duke. She’d purposefully put away her laptop before lectures began so she could take notes rather than scroll through Reddit or Amazon like most of the other students. It didn’t take long before his own note-taking suffered because he spent all his time looking at the back of her head from eight rows back, wondering if she’d ever notice him. Once, he saw her duck into Patty’s Sweets and Pastries - a zany shop with eccentric rainbow tiles and melon colored wallpaper and rows upon rows of candies, with a countertop made of jelly beans and huge peppermint sticks everywhere there should be a handrail. That’s when the tradition started. He’d come in and hope she’d notice him but it never happened before today.

Makayla came out of the bathroom and became interested in the little gnome near the start of the candy shelves. He held out his arm, upon which there lay a tray of sweet and sour lollipops sticking out like the quills of a porcupine. He had met Makayla and hated her at first, thinking her loud, overly made-up, and hanging out with a clique of attention-seeking slackers. But she’d sat a row in front of him, and so they’d begun to have more interaction, and soon David realized how much more was behind the makeup and the attitude - a warm, caring, and gentle girl whose shy smile could light up the dark side of the moon. 

“Here’s your coffee,” Sammy broke David out of his reverie. 

“Huh? Oh… thanks.” He nodded and looked away, hoping that Sammy walked away, which she did; he couldn’t take another second of interacting with her - not without ripping his hair out. 

David had spent over a year - both junior semesters and the summer between his penultimate and ultimate year, agonizing over his growing feelings for Makayla and his fantasy for Sammy. He remembered the one time he saw Sammy at a party with her friends, all of whom had snobbish, wary looks about them as though they were on the hunt for boys who would break apart their group. David wanted so desperately to go and ask her for a dance, though he had no clue how to dance himself, but he stayed put, sipping his drink in growing sorrow until one of his friends threw up outside and had to be taken home. 

“Hey, are we leaving soon?” asked Makayla, sitting back down and taking a bite of her now cold scone. 

“Hm?”

“What’s the coffee to go for?”

He looked at it with wide eyes, the last few minutes crashing down upon him as though he had been an amnesiatic observer of the events. “Um… I ordered it.”

“Well, I figured that part out,” said Makayla, her tone increasingly concerned. 

David thought for a few moments and said, “It’s for Professor Johnson. I have a meeting with him at-” he checked his watch, “-at four.” 

“Oh… what about?”

“Just… stuff about med-school.” 

Makayla nodded and sipped her coffee. “What’s up now? I thought you decided on UCSF.”

His heart beat more and more quickly as he realized that everything coming out of his mouth was a lie. “I’ll… tell you after the meeting. It’s mostly financial stuff.” 

“Oh…” Luckily, Makayla’s phone rang at that moment. “Shoot, it’s my mom. I gotta take this, and I’ll be sure to let her know about this weekend.” 

“Tell her I say hi,” said David. 

“I will.” Makayla began speaking on the phone and David looked at her like they had just met. After that party in the first week of senior year, his friends had counseled him to go after someone who cared about him rather than a girl who was more fantasy than reality. So a few weeks later, he asked Makayla out for a coffee, purposefully keeping her away from Patty’s, though her schedule helped him out in that regard. Now, here she was, and the realization of how ludicrous the situation was washed over David in a heartbeat, almost making him faint; had he really called Makayla here to compare her to Sammy, and to reassure himself that he’d made the right decision? Was the existence of that question not already its own answer?

Suddenly, he drained his cold coffee and tapped the table, getting Makayla’s attention. He whispered, “I’m gonna go pay.” 

She nodded and pulled out a few dollars for the tip. David walked over to the counter and met Sammy, looking her right in the eyes for once in his life. They were so soft, so welcoming… 

“D’you need anything else?” she asked. 

“Just… a cupcake.”

Sammy put it on the counter and David paid. He turned to leave and she said, “Hey, you forgot your cupcake!” 

He turned back, the pain of a thousand questions festering in his mind. “It’s for you… I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” her eyebrows expressed more confusion than her tone. 

David felt heat rise to his face again. “For… For those kids.” The unsaid thought lingered just behind his lips: I’m sorry for making a mistake… and for making that mistake for four years.

“Ready?” asked Makayla, putting away her phone. 

He sighed and said, “Yeah, sure.” 

What was he to do now? Break up with Makayla, a girl he genuinely loved for a four month relationship with Sammy, only for them to be separated at the start of medical school? They walked out of the shop together and David felt the wind break against his face like a chastising strike from God. Winter always left North Carolina by the end of February, but David knew this year there would be nothing in this state for him but frost.