A la Roro Niño

Maria was four years old when her innocence was torn away from her brutally. Her mother Lina had begun their night time routine just as she had done the many nights before. They would begin with a cool shower flowing over their skinny bodies. The cold would close their pores and keep them safe from infection. Next, her mother would grab her frayed toothbrush and put a pea-sized dot of plain toothpaste, they brushed until their pearly whites shined. They both sleepily walked into the only bedroom and crawled onto the bed on the hard floor. Lina sang to Maria "A la Roro Niǹo" which is the song her mother used to sing to her as a child. Maria drifted into a beautiful sweet sleep as Lina laid wide awake watching for a certain danger she sensed coming. She tried to relax and count her oveja as her Abuela had shown her. Eventually, she closed her eyes for what felt like a split second before a few loud bangs and a crash knocked her locked door off of the wall that they were supposed to be protected by.

Growing up Lina's Abuela had told her stories of the land of freedom known as America. It was told to be made of milk and honey overflowing streams. The sun would shine brighter with the consequence of heat and the birds would sing louder but not because of danger ahead. The air would smell of barbecues and marshmallows roasting over bonfires. Laughter would radiate through the air while children played carelessly. Lina would dream of being on that other side of the line where everything would be perfect. She made up in her mind when she grew up she would live in American and live happily ever after. A place where she would never want or need. A placed where she would raise her children in safety and not fear.

The crash awoke her with fright and Maria started to cry. Five men in blue uniforms and thick vest rushed into the room with guns drawn and voices raised. They had an emblem patched on with the letters "I.C.E" attached to them. Their angry voices swarmed the small room with hatred and fear. Maria's eyes were swollen with droplets of water. The officers told them to stand up with their hands above their head and Lina did as she was told meanwhile trying to comfort Maria. Lina caught eyes with one of the giant men standing in her room, when she looked into his soul she saw nothing, pitch-black iris glossed over by rage. Maria looked up at her momma with terror embedded in her eyes. The officers began to come closer and handcuff Lina then picked up Maria and walked out the door. Lina kicked and screamed for them to let go of her, but they did not hear her. They are trained to not hear when they are ripping families apart limb from limb. Lina began to go hoarse in her throat as he kept shredding her vocal cords trying to get her baby back. The officers stuffed her mouth with a rag while telling her to shut the hell up they were taking her back where she came from.

Lina grew up as a happy kid considering her circumstances. Beans and rice became her favorite meals because it was all they had and she did not want to hurt the feelings of her Abuela who worked very hard to provide for her. Lina had jet black silky hair and golden-brown eyes. Her long legs and skinny waist made her gorgeous like the models she saw in American catalogs. When she was seventeen she got her first boyfriend, Antonio. He wooed her with his contagious, vibrant personality. He was tall with a solid jaw and dark voluptuous eyebrows that were perfectly groomed. Antonio said all the right things and was everything Lina needed. They dated for about a year until one day things changed. Antonio had taken Lina to the nicest dinner she had ever had for their first anniversary. She wore her best dress and managed to buy the red heels she had been saving up for. Antonio admired her beauty with his lip squished between his yellow teeth. After they finished their dinner Antonio told her he had a surprise for her back at his place. She followed happily feeling more in love with him than ever. When she arrived at his small shack she saw the bed made with candles around it. Her gut clenched she knew what this meant. Lina grew up Catholic and was saving herself for her husband. Antonio told her to come take a seat on the bed. When she obeyed he climbed on top of her and slid the strap of her dress down. “No”, she said. “No”, she repeated. “No”, she cried. “No”, she screamed. “No”, everything went black. 

She was jammed inside a black van filled with the stench of heartbreak and body odor. Still crying, she demanded to know where they were taking her daughter. The strange men kept their straight poker faces as she wept and broke into a million pieces. In the van were two cold metal benches with bars behind and by the floor. Dim lights were glowing in the corners of the cab. Across from her sat three of the men all looking down to avoid her cries. She was trying to track the turns of the van but lost truck when the bumps distracted her. She was losing her mind and needed to be with her daughter who was probably so scared.   She wouldn’t stop kicking so they eventually tied her feet to the bars. The last time she was tied up like this she conceived her daughter. 

Lina woke up still lying on his bed in only a t-shirt. She was untied and faintly remembered what happened to her. As soon as she noticed he was in the shower she grabbed her purse and ran out the door. She didn’t stop running until she reached home and collapsed into her Abuela’s arms. She finally felt safe momentarily. A few weeks later Lina caught a stomach bug. She spent her mornings hunched over the grimy toilet. She became so skinny her Abuela forced her to go to the hospital to get checked out. Lina was severely dehydrated and they heard a rattle in her lungs so the Dr. ordered an X-ray. The technician asked her if there was any chance she could be pregnant. With this question, her stomach dropped and she felt as if she would pass out. Memories of that night filled into her head in deep clarity. She remembered the end right before she blacked out. Then it dawned on her, she could be carrying the baby of the evil man she once loved.  

In the next black van over was Maria. She was crying and scared and didn’t know why those strange men would take her mommy. They had her buckled into a, way too small, car seat that was strapped to the bench. After a while, a woman from the front seat came back and brought Maria some toys and a snack. This gained her trust and she quit weeping. The nice lady assured Maria they were taking her to see her mommy and it wouldn’t be too much longer until they got there. Maria tucked her black curly hair behind her ear and sipped on her juice as they made their way down the smooth straight road. 

Lina felt sick when she got the results and hurled into the nearest trash can. She never imagined she would be having a baby at eighteen years old. This man had taken every piece of innocence that she had. She decided her time to move to America was coming upon her. When she was six months along Lina packed her bag and made the journey over the border. She had paid a guy who showed her a hole where she could get in unharmed. She ate a large breakfast and followed this man to the other side. She found herself at a hotel asking if she could work for a place to stay. Lina thrived in the hotel and eventually became the lead house cleaner in the building. After Maria was born she moved out of the hotel into a one-bedroom apartment on the westside of El Paso. She and her daughter lived a simple life only having each other. Lina didn’t make a whole lot of money but enough to feed and clothe her and Maria and they were happy this way. 

Lina arrived at her location which she still had no clue where that was. They untied her feet and picked her up out of the van. In front of her was a building built like a prison where they take murders to die. There was barbed wire lining the top of the cages. When she entered the building she saw rooms filled with immigrants just like her. The people here were filthy and covered in dirt while flies swirled around them. The guards threw her in one of these rooms with other women who shared the same trauma as her. 

Maria also arrived at her version of a small prison. The lady helped her out of the van and held her petite hand as they shuffled up to the front of the grey building. The doors flung open and erupted with cries and small voices. Maria saw kids her age and kids as small as the baby doll she had at home. She didn’t see her mommy anywhere. She asked the only question she knew how to vocalize in english. “Where’s mommy?”. The nice lady left her with the guard at the door. Maria was confused and scared this guy was not nice at all, he yelled too much much and smelled like beef. He grabbed Maria by the arm and dragged her into a smaller room full of kids of all shapes and sizes. She was handed a tiny blanket and a half-empty water bottle. An older girl named Carmen introduced herself to Maria and told her she would be helping to take care of her. When Maria became sleepy she assumed it was nighttime but didn’t know for sure because of the lack of a window. She had to decide if she wanted to lay on the concrete and cover up or lay on the blanket and freeze. When Maria began to cry Carmen gave her her blanket for the night. Maria asked Carmen in Spanish if she would sing "A la Roro Riǹo" to her, ‘A la roro niño, A lo roro y, Duérmete mi niño, Duérmete mi amor.’ 

Maria’s mother would not sing to her tonight nor the next night. They wouldn’t brush their teeth together tonight. Maria would not have a warm bed to sleep tonight. Lina would not be able to keep one eye open watching for danger because danger had already come. They were in danger. This is not a story about an adventure with a happy ending. This is real and there is no happy ending in these kinds of stories. They will continue to sleep apart and on the floor until the government finds somewhere else to put them. Carmen is now not only Maria’s mother but everyone she can find the time to take care of. The innocence in these children is gone and so are the people who raised them.