Riley's Recollection.

Riley caught herself staring at the rain pelting itself against the window of her office. It was soothing watching the little, tiny rivers trickle down the glass. Five more minutes and she would be free to sit, relax and laugh with her friends. The office floor on Friday's always transformed into a silent empty space as people began their weekends as soon as possible. 

The din of the elevator chimed less and less now. Riley shut down her computer and began to collect her belongings. She was pleased with herself for acknowledging the morning forecast and packing along her umbrella. The rain this time of year was cold and sometimes icy. Definitely unwise to go outside without something to shield herself. 

As the elevator reached the lobby floor, she stepped out and turned towards the large revolving door. The sound of her heels clacking against the hard tile echoed throughout the vast space. Once outside she quickly popped open her umbrella and began to make her way down the block. Quickly her feet hastened, and she soon saw through the veil of raindrops the brightly painted door and warm lights of Carlotta’s Cafe. 

Inside she started to peel off the damp layers and looked about for a place to hang her coat. Realizing she was first to arrive, Riley made herself at home and claimed a large green tufted booth. She had become completely soaked despite every effort on her part to keep dry. The coldness of the leather clinging to her feet made her shiver. The server placed a large cup of coffee on the table. She sipped the smoldering beverage and felt the warmth of it radiate throughout her body. 

The bell over the door chimed and two hooded figures wearing long coats came in chatting away and flinging water everywhere. Riley smiled and waved over her two friends Lily and Allison. As they made themselves comfortable the last of the quartet arrived and joined them. Lily worked at a law firm, Lainey was a real estate agent and Allison taught at a local preparatory school. Soon the ladies began laughing and sharing their individual weekly anecdotes. 

Allison began sharing how she sometimes found herself envious of the youthful and innocent girls in her class. Lily and Lainey joined in and the three began to weave a blanket of nostalgia from their youth. It seemed as if they had all lived the same life years ago despite not growing up in the same communities. Riley smiled and laughed at their stories. She hoped that no one would notice that she had not contributed to the conversation. Thankfully, after an hour, the rain stopped. Lily pointed out the window announcing the arrival of the sun which changed the course of conversation. The four finished their drinks and began to leave while embracing and saying their goodbyes. 

Riley walked the four blocks to her apartment with a familiar sadness swirling through her mind. Tears began to fill her eyes as she slid her key into the lock of her apartment door. There was the small consolation that no one had seen her fall apart. Inside she began to place her things on the table, hang her coat on its peg and step out of her damp shoes. Heavily collapsing onto the sofa, she was soon greeted by a familiar purring. It felt a little less lonely in the apartment with Tess and she couldn’t say no to the little orange tabby always hanging around outside the building. They had become fast friends and soon Tess became her roommate as well as a confidant. This was the one friend she could tell anything and everything to.  

It was not the first time Riley had heard someone speak about their fondness of childhood memories. The sadness and pain crept in each and every time. There were no memories for her, and she could not relate. An abusive, controlling mother and an absent father left nothing but heartache and scars. 

The girls at school were always having sleepovers or going to the mall together but Riley was never allowed. She had been isolated. The constant repetition of having to say no caused the invitations to eventually dry up. Why could she never do anything, what was wrong with her? The gossip began as an ember that grew into a fire. The once sweet girls turned, and Riley became the target of their bullying.

Despite this and the put downs, which her mother launched daily, a soft heart managed to survive. Determined to keep her focus on the future she began crossing out every day on a calendar kept in her bedside table. A countdown. This small method had unknowingly created a strength within. Childhood had come and gone. As painful as the acknowledgement of that had been to realize she continued moving forward. 

The screaming, name calling, and abuse were all behind her. The future lay ahead like a blank sheet of paper waiting for a story to be written. In the beginning everything was overwhelming. The freedom was new, and it had been difficult to know which paths to choose. There were occasions where she just wanted to give up but that was never an option.

As time went on, she met new people who knew nothing of her past. Moving away and living in a large city, where everyone was from somewhere else, spawned the peace of anonymity. These new friends seemed to live for and focus on the joy of today. This inspired Riley to slowly embrace the world around her. She soon developed new memories and overtime the old ones began to fade. 

Whenever a moment, like the one at the cafe, occurred she would always laugh, smile and pretend to understand everything being said. Adamant not to relive the angst of her past she remained silent. Instead, she took solace that her friends had no comparison to her past experiences.

Riley finished conveying the current events of the day to the content cat now curled up in her lap. The sweet tabby was always such a comfort and reminder that what once was did not always have to be. After all Tess started out as a helpless kitten in a dirty alley and now resides in a warm apartment with yummy treats. Riley’s days of a dirty alley so to speak were also behind her. She would never reminisce or long for her childhood. There may be days ahead that cause a tear, but they too would pass and become more infrequent. The thought created a smile to form on her tearstained face. 

The weather forecast for tomorrow looked lovely. A walk through the park perhaps or along the river to watch the boats float by. Enjoying the thoughts of imminent sunshine, she began to settle in for the night and placed another blanket on the bed. The soft pillow cradling her head offered a comfortable resting place for Tess as well. They both soon began to drift off into a world of peaceful slumber. The slender hands of the clock were now quietly moving her forward into the unwritten tomorrow.