A Tiny Problem

My ears filled with the sound of the refrigerator thrumming as I rearranged the freshly purchased goods on its shelves. I let the chill travel up my arms, a welcome relief from the blazing heat of late July. The noise of the appliance and the game of grocery Tetris kept my from registering the sound of the car pulling up to the house.

My mother, however, did hear the car. She marched past me, slapping her flip flops against the laminate floor as she made her way to the front door. “They’re here!” She squealed.

I let the refrigerator door close, locking away the food that was on deck to sustain us through a week of attempting to boogie board, slathering on SPF 60, and shaking sand out of every crevice of our bodies. I had just reached the doorway when I heard it: the bark. I felt my heart drop, tumbling down through my body as I stifled a groan. Tiny was here.

“Bisty!” My brother called from the driveway as he pulled two matching oversized suitcases behind him, catching their wheels on the gravel with every step. His new wife and her dog stood on the front lawn. A smile spread wide across his face as he looked up to where I stood, still frozen in the doorway. 

“So glad you could make it!, Brandon” Mom called down to him, stretching out her arms for an embrace as he abandoned the luggage at the bottom of the porch’s stairs. Taking them two at a time, he reached us in seconds, and pulled our mother into a bear hug, lifting her off the ground. 

“We wouldn’t miss it!” 

“Oh would you put me down” Mom laughed. “I hardly want to be picked up at my age.”

“At your age?” Brandon laughed as he set her back down onto the planks of the wooden porch. “You’re not even sixty yet, Mother.” 

Mom rolled her eyes. “I will be in a few months.”

“And what then?” He looked over her shoulder to me, “Will she turn to dust?”

“No,” I laughed. “She’ll just forget how to use her cell phone.”

“Forget? She doesn’t know how to use it now.” He teased.

“Okay, you two. I’m right here.” Mom planted her hands on her hips and pretended to scowl. Her lips betrayed her and took the form of a smile.

“Be nice to your mother you two!” Maggie laughed as she reached the porch steps, a thin pink leash clasped in her hand. The fluff ball attached to it began to growl, specifically at me.

“Nice to see you too, Tiny,” Mom said, looking down to the yorkie-poodle-chihuahua-devil mix. The dog let out a shrill yap.

“Thank you so much for letting us bring her.” Maggie lifted the dog in her arms. “The kennel was full this week. Seems like everyone decided to take a vacation.”

“Not a problem at all.” Mom took a step back, making room for Maggie to join us on the porch. “She’s family after all.”

Maggie turned to her husband, and said, “Can you grab the bags, dear?”

Brandon gave a mock salute, before bounding down the stairs.

“What some help?” I asked, climbing down after him. 

“Sure,” he said, stepping back from the navy suitcase, leaving it for me.

“Let me show you to your room before Heather and the boys get here,” Mom said, holding the door open for Maggie and the creature in her arms.

“I’m so excited for a real family vacation at the beach!” Maggie squeakednas she passed through the door frame.

With them safely inside and out of earshot, I turned to Brandon. His eyes stared at me, as if trying to make sure I was really there. I knitted my brow together. “The kennel was full?” I scoffed.

He laughed, seeming to forget whatever concerns he had moments before. “More like, Tiny is banned from the kennel.”

“I figured.” I rolled my eyes.

He sighed as he lifted the suitcase with both hands and hoisted it up the five steps to the porch. “I think that makes three kennels she’s been kicked out of.”

“Menace to society.” I shook my head as I lifted the second suitcase up the steps.

“I swear that dog was a felon in a previous life.” He whispered. 

“I’m going to tell Maggie you said that,” I smirked.

“You wouldn’t dare!” He scoffed.

“I won’t actually tell her, not yet at least. I might need it for blackmail later.”

“You’re just as evil as the dog.” He laughed.

“What else are little sisters for?”

By dinner time, Heather, her husband, and their two toddlers had arrived, rounding out the rest of our party and making for a very full, very loud house. I cast a longing glance at the stack of novels on my nightstand as I lay on the twin bed in the cool, air conditioned room. Beeping from one of the kids’ toys screeched through the house, sending Tiny into a barking fit. I sighed and grabbed the top book from the stack. 

As I descended the stairs, book in hand, on my way to the back patio, I heard my mother’s voice say, “Really, Bitsy’s doing fine. But she needs to get out of the house more. This will be a good excuse. I’m sure she won’t mind at all.”

From her tone, I could tell whatever she’d signed up up for was something I would very much mind.

“BISTY!” She called, not knowing I was just around the corner.

“Yeah?” I said, poking my head into the kitchen where she stood with Heather, my older sister. Tiny was running laps around the kitchen’s island as the barking continued. 

Mom planted her hand on her chest. “Don’t scare me like that!” She scolded.

“Sorry,” I fought the urge to roll my eyes. What is that about spending time with your family that immediately turns you back into the teenage version of yourself?

“Could you take Tiny for a walk? A long one?” Mom’s eyes pleaded with me.

“I was going to sit out on the patio and read.” I lifted my book as if to prove that had in fact been my plan.

“Just until I can get the boys to sleep?” Now it was Heather’s turn to beg. “They are exhausted from the drive down, and I don’t want the dog barking while I’m trying to get them to bed.”

I set my book down on the counter. “Where’s Maggie?”

“She went with Brandon and your dad to the liquor store.”

“You can have the first of my famous margarita if you do this for me.” Heather placed her hands on my shoulders, stared me in the face, and batted her eye lashes.

I sighed. “Where’s the leash?” I looked down to the dog, that now sat growling at my mother’s feet, evidently pissed off at her bejeweled flip flops for simply existing.

The sun was still out, but starting to sink in the sky as I made my way down the house’s driveway toward the sidewalk. I opted not to take the boardwalk, hoping that it would mean fewer people for the furry menace to snap at. 

“Let’s go,” I said to the dog, who yapped back as if to say, “be quiet. I’m in charge here.”

Along with barking at me, Tiny used the walk as an opportunity to bark at every person, dog, and unfamiliar sound we encountered, but that was just he beginning. Tiny was also intent on making me trip over her, darting back and forth in front of me with no rhyme or reason, making it impossible to anticipate where she would be next. Twice I nearly stepped on her. Once, I actually stepped on my own toe as I tried to regain my balance. 

With a groan, I stepped to the edge of the sidewalk, letting a bicyclist pass by us. Tiny took this as a personal affront and lunged at the bikes tires. Ignoring her actions, I pulled my phone from my pocket and texted my mother to ask my nephews were asleep yet. Her reply came seconds later: It’s only been fifteen minutes. Don’t come back yet.

Safe in knowing that the boys were still awake, I texted Heather: You better be making me margaritas all week for this.

I sighed, tucked my phone back into the pocket of my shorts and set us walking again around a street corner. There was a small park across the street with an open bench, which I made a beeline for. Tiny had other ideas, namely seeing the bench as an enemy and full on attacking it. The only reason she stopped nipping at its metal legs was the fact that I tried to reach down to stop her. My hand of course being an even bigger enemy.

“OUCH!” I yelped, pulling my hand back from her thankfully worn with age teeth. Tiny growled at my hand.

A pair of fellow twenty-something women out for an evening walk stopped midstride. 

“Are you okay?” The one in the running shorts and cropped athletic top asked. 

“I’m fine.” I said.

“Dog walker?” The other woman, sporting a ribbed tank top tucked into jean shorts asked.

“Sort of.” I shook my head before looking up from Tiny to meet their gaze. “She’s my sister-in-law’s dog.”

The two nodded as if they understood. “Good luck,” bicycle shorts said as they resumed their walk.

“Thanks,” I said. When they had made it half way down the block, and I had taken a few deep breaths, I gave the leash a gentle tug and muttered, “I’m done. We’re going back.”

“Maybe you’re just not a dog person.” Maggie said lifting a Heather crafted margarita to her lips. Tiny laid curled in a ball on her bare thighs, asleep and thankfully silent for once.

“I don’t think that’s it.” I said. 

“Tiny is usually a pretty good judge of character.” Maggie stroked the dog’s back. Heather, who stood behind the seated Maggie, stopped juicing the lime in her hand, met my gaze, and shook her head.

“Is that drink ready yet, Heather?” I asked, changing the subject. 

“Almost,” she laughed. “Next time, I’ll take the dog for a walk and you can wrangle the boys into bed.”

“Pinky promise?” I asked. Maggie scowled.

“Gladly!” Heather picked up two glasses and crossed the patio to where I sat reclining in an Adirondack chair. “You can read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie for the thousandth time, and I’ll get thirty minutes of peace and quiet in the great outdoors.” 

“Who’s getting peace and quiet?” Heather’s husband, Eric, asked as he opened the door to the patio. Heather passed him the other margarita.

“Hopefully me,” Heather laughed. 

“I’ll drink to that.” Eric held his glass out to mine and clinked them together before taking a long sip.

“So,” Heather said, “Are you dating anyone new, Bisty?” 

Maggie perked up, “Oh yes, I want all the details.”

“What happened to that guy you brought to Brandon and Maggie’s wedding?” Eric asked.

“Hugh? He’s old news,” Maggie waved her hand through the air. Heather shot a look at her husband that clearly read, I told you not to bring him up.

I sighed, feeling my stomach clench. “No one new right now.”

“Boring,” Maggie leaned back in her chair. Tiny, annoyed that her human mattress was moving, let out a rumbling growl.

“Are you coming down to the beach with us?” Mom asked standing in the kitchen in a cream-colored linen swimsuit coverup. Heather stood at the counter spreading mayo on a slice of wheat bread. The kids sat at the table spearing squares of blueberry-laced pancakes with the tines of their forks.

“Actually,” I glance down at my arms and their slight pink hue from yesterday’s adventure to the zoo. “I think I should probably stay out of the sun for the day.”

“You’re not even going to come down for a little bit?” Mom frowned.

“Maybe in a bit.” I said. “I think I’m going to take it easy today.”

“Did I hear you are staying behind?” Brandon sat up on the couch where he’d been previously hidden. “Would you—“

“No,” I cut him off. “No I will not watch the dog while you all go have fun.”

“Then come join the fun!” Mom pleaded. “At least until lunch.”

“My idea of fun is not being growled at or bitten for at least two hours today.”

Heather stifled a laugh just as Maggie walked into room wearing a matching athletic set, her brow beaded with sweat from a morning run. Tiny trailed at her heels.

“Bisty’s staying behind for the morning.” Brandon blurted out to his wife. 

“Fabulous!” She chirped. “Not that I don’t want you to come, of course, but now the puppy can stay with you.” Maggie reached across the counter and picked up a slice of cheese and took a bite. The one of the toddlers dropped a chunk of pancake. Tiny darted across the floor to and pounced on it. The boys laughed.

“Hey,” Heather gave a winded-eyed mom look to her boys. “The pancake is for you, not the dog.” Tiny took a seat under the table, eagerly awaiting the next bite.

It was the bark that yanked me from the world of my book back into reality. Tiny was relentless, as if the front itself was to blame for all the world’s atrocities. 

“What is it?” I groaned, as I slid a bookmark between the pages of the novel and stood up. I crossed the living room and moved the lacy curtain aside to look out the window. Tiny’s barking grew quicker, punctuated by a throaty growl as she threw her head back for maximum effect. 

I was fully prepared to see nothing, or maybe to see a squirrel sitting on the porch railing, or for there to be a mailman strolling by. I was not at all prepared to see the red Camry parked in the driveway. Before the driver even opened the door, my heart was racing. I knew exactly who it was, my most recent ex, Hugh.

“Shut up, Tiny.” I hissed through my teeth, letting the curtain fall back into place. I reached down for the dog out of instinct, and for once, she did not protest me picking her up. The growling, however did not stop. In fact, it grew even more shrill when he knocked on the door.

“I saw you in the window, Izzie.” He said through the door. My shoulders tensed. No one called by my real name. I’d been Bitsy since I was two and obsessed with the Isty Bitsy Spider song, or as I had called it, the Izzie Bitsy Spider.

“Go away!” I yelled over the barking dog, who was wriggling in my arms. “I don’t want to see you.”

“Can’t we just talk?” He asked.

“No.” I sighed. “We can’t.”

“Don’t be like this, Izzie.” 

“Be like what?” I gritted my teeth.

“Irrational.” He spat. “Mean.”

I could feel the heat rising in my chest now, along with the anger. Without thinking I swung the door open. “Mean?” I yelled. “You call me mean?” Tiny joined in, raising the volume of our side of the conversation to eleven.

“Who’s dog is that?” He asked, his jaw falling open. “Did you get a dog?”

“What if I did?” I hissed.

“You wouldn’t.” He crossed his arms. “That would be too much responsibility for you.”

“Did you really drive eight hours to insult me, Hugh?” Tiny writhed in my arms, growling so loudly you could nearly mistake it for thunder.

“I came to see if you wanted to get back together.” He glared at me. “But I didn’t know you’d have done something so rash as get a dog.” His glare moved from my face to Tiny’s, who was now bearing all of her teeth at him.

“Rash?” I scoffed. “Funny, I would say sleeping with someone who’s not your girlfriend is much more rash, but then again, what do I know? Maybe you planned it.”

“Look,” Hugh sighed. “I didn’t mean for this to go this way. I—“ He shook his head. “I made the biggest mistake of my life with you. I just want you back.”

“No.”

“Can’t we just—“

I cut him off. “No, there’s nothing I want from you except for you to leave.”

“Izzie,” he began.

“Hugh, no one that loves me calls me that.” I whispered, all the rage suddenly evaporated from my voice.

I could see what that last sentence did to him. The final nail in the coffin. The realization that he wouldn’t get his way, that I would not forget his indiscretions, that we were no longer and would never again be a “we.”

It was at that moment that Tiny chose to leap from my grasp and sink her teeth into Hugh’s ankle.

“Jesus Christ!” He screamed, an octave higher than his usual voice. 

“Tiny!” I heard a yell from the corner of the house, where Maggie stood, running toward her precious pet in her wet bikini. The wide straw hat she wore floated off her head as she ran.

“What the hell?” Heather gasped.

“Leave my sister along,” Brandon said as he stomped across the yard, his feet squeaking in his wet sandals.

“Get away from my dog!” Maggie yelled, pulling Tiny free from Hugh’s leg. The dog instantly settled into her owners arms, docile as a kitten once again.

“I’m out of here!” Hugh said, his eyes welled with tears from the pain.

“Hell yeah you are.” Brandon said, draping an arm over his wife, who now cradled Tiny in her arms.

“Thanks, Tiny.” I said, reaching out to pet the fluff ball’s head. For once, she didn’t bark or growl at me.

“I told you,” Maggie cooed, “She’s an excellent judge of character.