Into the wood

On Sunday, 12th April 1992, I went biking in Wolfach park, near the black forest. It was a lively spring with a clear sky. The sun shined through those tall trees with lively birds singing beautiful songs. An ambiance of this forest made me feel so delighted and grateful. 

After biking up to the hill, I had to stop, not only because I was exhausted from biking against the gravity, though the view up here caught my eyes. It was charming! 

From afar, the small houses were laid on the foothill and they were arranged almost in the triangle shape, only it was a bit wry. The houses were painted in white, some in beige and most of them were roofed with red. The scene was painted with the green background of a large yard along the hills and at the far back was depicted with the dark color of the black forest.

I enjoyed this fascinating panorama and its fresh air. Before I left the spot, I inhaled those clean air with a big deep breath and pictured them into my memory...

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Riding down the hill was so much fun and excitement. The gravity pulled me naturally with the speed that I could hear nothing except for the growl of the wind. 

'Whoo!' My heart was pumping fastly enjoying its race. 

Since the bike ran down swiftly, I started to feel a bit of stress as I had to manage the bike not to go out of the trail. The slope was much steeper now, I felt the branches full of leaves beaten all over my arms and head. Some of them were soft touch like feathers. I even enjoyed the ride more even it went faster.

'Whooo!...Ooh...Gzz!‘ Abruptly there were leaves tearing from a branch, that I did not know of which. Those leaves slapped on my eyes hence my eyes were, automatically reacted, closed tightly, I observed nothing except for the darkness. 

The last word I heard was 'Whooa...!!', that was from me definitely. Next, the benumbed sound appeared beside my ears right away. Shortly there was something moving inside my gut. My body was not pulled by gravitation anymore. I was in a whirl. My hands were free, I did not feel the bike, nor the ground. I flew...

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My thought has realized that I was slipping off the trail and diving down the cliff just after those leaves banged on my eyes. 

'No way I could escape the death after I touch the ground from this hight', my thought stated. 

I decide to close my eyes again following that thought. I could do solely this thing for the time like this because there was nothing else I could do more. If I was going to die, I chose to die calmly and peacefully, hence I told myself (as planned)

'calm down, breathe...deeply...innnn and ouuut... in and out ... in and out ...deeply...'

My energy and all attention were tied well together with my breath. I felt every moment of the breath.

'In a time like this, nothing is important...literally not a thing...'

I was the one with my breath. I was a breath...

'Wow...that's amazing! I have never felt so light, safe and peaceful like this way before...' I heard the voice said, in my head.

I continue to breathe deeply in-out, I felt my mouth was straight out a bit. My face was relaxed and covered with a soft smile.

At this moment, with my closed eyes, it was not a black color, but everything was white and extremely bright, I felt warm. That vivid light first was appeared to be the size of a small ball, then it became bigger. Forthwith, the light swallowed the whole me. I did not feel either weight or any part of my body. I was feathery...

The moment I forgot what was happening around me, I felt only my breath. For a long... long time passed by... I forgot that I was going to fall. I did not feel the force from the ground. Yet once I was aware of my physical exit, my thought started to question 

'What is that? 

Why it doesn‘t hit the ground? 

Why does it take so long?‘

I was waiting for the moment of my body to go against the ground but it did not happen this whole time...

'What‘s happened?' 

I was curious while still waiting for that moment.

'Oh...come on that's too long already...' I started to feel frustrated.

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I decided to open my eyes slowly for I wanted to learn what was happening. Oddly, I found myself lied on the ground full of brown leaves and my body was fully intact, there was not even a bruise and I did not feel any bit of a pain.

I started to look around, try to identify this place. I was sure it was not in the Wolfach where I was biking. These old tall and big trees I have never seen. My ears caught the sound of water running somewhere not far. So I decided to walk toward the direction of that sound. Other than the sound from the river, I heard nothing else, no bird, no animal, no movement, not even the sound of the wind. This place was completely silent. 

'It's so strange here...'

I walked further with heavy footsteps to destroy the silence in this weird forest. The water sound became clearer. Not so far, I spotted a watercourse. 'Thank God!' My throat was dried. 

I went down to the waterside, reached to the water and drank it with my hands. The water was clear and sweet. I felt alive again. 

After finished refreshing myself at the waterside, I thought to find a way to get out of this place as soon as possible. Then I stood up and looked to the front. My eyes suddenly caught up with another pair of eyes from the opposite side of the waterway. 

I recognized her quickly even I saw her from afar. Suddenly the world was stopped, I felt nothing around me, I heard nothing but the silence, I saw nothing evident except for the girl who was innocent to the world, who has a wide and delightful smile. She looked at me with her curious eyes. This child had a pure soul, a sympathetic heart that carried the truth of the world.

She was wearing a cute white lace dress with sleeveless. I saw nothing else, but her. I looked to my right side and saw a bridge, then I quickly ran to cross in the direction where she was standing. 

'Sonia!' I cried out loudly.

I looked at her again while I was running on the bridge. She was staring back at me.

'Sonia! It's me, Katja! Oh my God...!' 

I was so happy to see her again. It was unbelievable!

Was I too excited? My legs were moving fastly. Even I felt like I was flying instead of running. Well, if I could just fly, I would do that already since I missed her so much! I could not wait for even one more second to pass by. I would put her into my arms right away. Yet why I felt the distance was infinitely far. Why did it take so long to reach her? I tried to move my legs rapidly.

Maybe I wasn't running fast enough... I realized that the wind was moving too slowly to pass my ears. It turned out that my legs were so heavy every time I moved them. I told my legs again to move quicker, but it seemed like I was moving even slower. Why were they so heavy and stubborn to lift off the ground? 

'Have my legs been made from the magnet?' I wondered.

It was just at the end of my thought, I lost sight of her. 'Where is she?' I looked around. But I did not see any sign of Sonia. What I saw was the big old oak tree which was failed at the waterside and the hollow forest covered with brown dried leaves and silence...

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I stood where she was.

'Sonia! Where are you!?' I cried out again.

Silence...

It was getting dark and cold, the light was almost out. I looked up to the sky and saw a rook flying crossed the forest over my head from the west side. Once it was happened to have a mild blow by the wind and it made those dead leaves left its trees, they were dancing in the air and falling to cover the floor at last.

'Sonia! It's Katja! I'm here. I missed you!'

'Soniaaaaa!'

'...'

She was gone ...

'You were just here...weren't you?...'