Cut and Clarity

Like a church fresco, the night sky hung over the man standing in his front yard in the middle of America. Behind him stood the historic brick home that he shared with his wife. In the front window, her face poked through a parted curtain, anxiously watching him, waiting for him to come back inside.

But the glittering dots above called to him.

Come join us. Come join us, the stars whispered, their bewitching celestial voices tickling his ear. They were doing everything they possibly could to capture his attention and entice him to meet them in the world above.

I want to, he whispered back.

The agitated clearing of a throat turned his head. His wife, now standing on the front steps with crossed arms and pursed lips.

“The food’s been out for a while,” she announced. He followed her inside, wondering if the meal was as cold as her tone.

No table setting today. Their plates were at the counter: pearl couscous mixed with pesto from a jar. The garlic was too subtle, and the basil was dehydrated despite being submerged in oil. He did admire the shape of the pasta, rotund like his favorite planets and moons. He carefully plucked one with his fork and showed it to his wife.

“See that fleck there?” he said, “Like the eye of Jupiter.”

There was a sharp clank as she dropped her fork down.

“Can't I have one meal in peace?”

“It’s just a silly comparison,”

“And out of all the ones you could’ve made, why not Neptune or Mars or literally any other planet?”

“I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Really?”

Her narrowed eyes were drilling into him. Even in anger, he could still admire the golden-brown irises, especially when those soft tendrils dangled by them. She was wearing her hair the way he liked it, a mess of waves casually gathered into a pile on top of her head and held together by a colorful acrylic clip.

“I like your hair like that,” he said, hoping to placate.

She said nothing at first, but then mumbled a thank you and continued to eat.

The sounds of chewing bounced off the white tiles in their kitchen. The smacks and slops were a far cry from the music they used to play during their meals. Just a Spotify playlist filled with romantic bossa nova played on a Bluetooth speaker, but it transported them to a colorful Brazilian town filled with joyous, tanned people and endless sunshine.

Now they sat alone in silence on a cold Missouri night.

“I should give them an answer soon,” the husband carefully prodded, “put an end to this once and for all.

“You’ve had an answer for weeks.”

She didn’t bother to look up. He sighed again.

“I just want to provide for my family.”

“So do so here.”

“We would be better off if I worked with them.”

“They’ve never sent people that far out before. Ever. Many experts say we’re years away from being able to do something like that. What do these two guys know?”

“It’s a risky field. There’s only so much safety they can guarantee. And besides, it’s important work.”

She scoffed at that.

“Important work for whom? You don’t need to send someone far away to retrieve a thing that can be found in the ground here on Earth. You don’t even have to mine for it. There are literally labs all over the world churning out the same things, without putting people’s lives at risk.”

“Lab-made is not the same as natural. There are people who will pay insane amounts of money for the stuff I can collect. We could be loaded with cash!”

“Money we might not see because you might die!”

“There will be a pension if something goes wrong.”

“You don’t know that! You’ve seen what’s been happening; these start-ups are run by incompetent or shady business guys who constantly cut corners because they think the rules and regulations get in the way of innovation.”

“You’re listening to that news channel again. All they do is fear-monger. I know the risks. I know how to handle myself. I am trying to set us up for a good life.”

“We are comfortable!” she shouted, frantically motioning around to their house, “We are perfectly fine where we are.”

“No, you’re comfortable!” He was standing now, eyes bulging and fists clenched.

“I need a challenge! I need to push myself and see how I can evolve and grow.”

She stood up, glaring at him and lowering her voice.

“I would say you already have one challenge waiting for you.”

He sucked air in through his teeth. She said nothing. Silence blanketed the room.

“That,” he began carefully, “is more of a reason to go.”

She shook her head. Her glare was a churning ball of anger and disappointment.

“If you want an out, you can just say so.”

“I don’t want a divorce.”

“But you want to leave me.”

“I’m coming home.”

“And what am I supposed to do? Wait around and keep my life on pause for seven years?”

“You’d be busy taking care of things around here.”

“Me here alone having to do everything by myself! The cooking, the cleaning, the getting everything ready, the doctor’s visits, and the hospital visit. Everything after.”

“You wouldn’t be alone. You’d have him. Or her.”

“I would be without the one person who is supposed to be doing this with me. Where is the man who made vows to stick by my side? Why do you insist on going on this suicide mission?

“I’ve told you already!” he roared, gripping his hair in frustration. She shook her head slowly.

“I wish you were having an affair,” she softly said.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

She laughed.

“I’m not crazy, you know. My family deserves support.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

“We live in a world where we need money. That’s just a fact.”

“We also need community. You can’t just waltz up there for almost a decade and come back down and expect us to be one big happy unit. You’ll be a stranger.”

“I’ll get to know them. After I come back.”

“If you go, there won’t be someone to meet.”

Silence fell once again. Something wicked and sinister stirred in the shadows as the husband and wife stared one another down.

“Think about what you’re saying,” he finally said with a slight growl.

“I’ve thought about it long enough. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Seems counterproductive, doesn’t it?”

“Don’t be smart. You have no idea what it would be like to go through all of that by myself. There is so much that can go wrong, so much I must anticipate and prepare for, on top of my regular day-to-day. It doesn’t seem to be worth the risk.”

“How would you do it anyway? I thought the laws changed.”

“They changed them back, for now. And if they reverse it again, I’ll go out of state.”

His mouth went dry. His wife’s gaze held firm.

“Do I have a choice?” He dared to ask.

“You do. If you leave, no one will be waiting for you when you get back. If you stay, you will have a family.

He looked out the window towards the stars, hoping they would provide some guidance, but like his wife, they left him dark and cold.