The Gamble

Henry inhaled his cigarette, “I’m sorry but you know things have been overwhelming lately.”

“I know baby, I know. I’m doing fine but your son misses you a lot, you missed his soccer game yesterday.”

“How’d he do?”

“He did well, he’s basically the star of the team.”

“Oh, yeah?” a faint smile appeared on his face.

“Yes, but he can’t see his dad cheering for him when he scores.”

“I’ll be there at the next game, I promise.”

“Henry.” she said, obviously not believing him.

“I promise, I’ll be there. I have to hang up now.”

“Fine, just be careful out there. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He felt the cold breeze brush his cheeks as he hung up. He was standing on a metal surface that overlooked the bay. He kept on watching the men unload the ship to their trucks as he kept on poisoning himself with tobacco. He though he’d quit this crap long ago. He just couldn’t quit it now, not when his life was already stressful enough. He remembered the first time his father caught him smoking and this made him smile once more but also made him wonder why he was thinking of him, specially now. Perhaps because of the breeze he felt made him recall the days he’d go fishing with his dad. Those were the days. Now he was the father and he just couldn’t shake of the fear of not being able to give his own son memories like those.

 Men were very efficient workers, trucks were coming in and out almost at an hour’s notice to match their speed. Some of them were ethic and some looked really young but they all had tattoos on their faces. Other than the ones that can operate cranes those men were usually very uneducated and stupid. Perfect pawn for a grand operation he thought. Just as he flicked the butt of his cigarette footsteps climbing up the metal stairs could be heard behind him.

“How’re you doing officer?” said the mad with a grumpy voice.

“I’m alright, yourself?” Henry said.

“I’m just glad that were finally over with this unloading. How long has it been, twelve hours?”

Henry didn’t answer. Instead he raised his gaze to see the ships out in the distance and the red of the dawn painting the sea around them. Man next to him lit up a cigar that smelled like vanilla.

“You’ll be getting double this time.” man said.

Henry turned his face with raised eyebrows, “Double? What for?”

“We just think that you deserve it, especially since you’ve been doing a lot of favors for us recently,” the man cleared his throat and he spitted.

“You’ll also get a little vacation officer, some time to spend with your family.”

Henry turned his body to the man now, “You don’t need me here anymore?”

“Well the next ship will arrive a week later and you look quite worn out. What good is a cop when he’s too tired to get you out of trouble eh?”

The man saw Henry staring at him with a confused face, “Cheer up, you! You deserved it,” the man inhaled his Columbian cigar again. “You know what, I’ll finish it up here with these freaks, you can go home. The prize is in your glovebox. See you at the beginning of the week.”

Henry was still confused but he didn’t want to push his luck. One last stare into the port and he started walking back to his car. Was this really happening? When he hopped into his car and opened up to glovebox to see the envelope, he knew. It was really happening. Not only he’ll finally have the time to fulfill his promise to his wife, he could also pay for his son’s college tuition with this money. Just a little trouble hiding it from the force and he’ll be set.

 As he was driving home he opened up his window, something that he’d never done before. He’d usually listen to some random guy talk about celebrities and all that nonsense. He’d be too tired to care anyway, especially after working all night. But this time he was nothing but excited, his hard work was now paying off and the fruits of this hard work have arrived way before he was expecting. As the wind was blowing into the car he felt like he could breathe again. He smelled the sea breeze turn into morning breeze as he got closer to home and this made him feel alive again. The clock was showing 6:41 so his wife was probably still at home, he could give her a kiss before she left for work. Then as his son woke up he could surprise him with the smell of pancakes and a hug, wouldn’t that be perfect. Normally he’d pass out on the couch but with the excitement he felt he wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon. He could drop his son at school and then catch a few hours of shut eye later. Perhaps even a full eight hours of sleep too, that was now just a distant memory for him at this point. There had been years since he woke up feeling well rested. The road was just too long today though, no matter how fast he drove he just couldn’t seem to be able to get home as quick as he did the days he listened to that celebrity crap in the radio. Today the radio was playing a great song actually. He usually hated this genre but listening to it now, it wasn’t too bad after all. The highway became usual roads in no time when he started listening to the song and those roads soon started showing him familiar places that made him realize home was getting closer and closer. It seemed as though his life was finally out of the darkness and a bright part of his life has started rising with the sun and this was all he ever needed. As he saw his house around the corner he was dreaming of all the friends he could perhaps invite over for a beer to catch up.

 He pulled in his driveway and voila, he made it. Before he got out of the car he made sure to grab the envelope and shove it in his inside jacked pocket. The door was right there now. Just a couple yards in front of him. But then he heard someone call out to him. It must be the neighbor he first thought but he was soon disappointed as he saw a man that didn’t look familiar on the pavement in front of his house.

“Mr. Flynn?” the man said, “I’m Detective Wagner.”

“What do I owe the pleasure?” Henry said as the man showed his badge.

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you, you mind if we have a little chat?”

Henry felt something was wrong, “Well it’s very early in the morning Detective, could we postpone this perhaps?”

“I apologize for the inconvenience. You’re right it’s really early, a strange time to get home don’t you think?” Wagner said.

“Messed up part of the job,” Henry said, still feeling the same feeling. “I’m sure you know.”

Wagner smiled formally, “Yes, yes I know. But I thought you weren’t on duty tonight sir, your shift ended half a day ago.”

The fake smile Henry had on his face slowly started drifting away, his instincts were right.

“Listen, no need to feel nervous. I just want to ask a few questions that’s all. I’m sure we could do this somewhere else though.” Wagner said.

The feeling Henry had became something very strange after the Detective said that. The man didn’t have the expression of a standard police officer. No, the way he showed the badge was almost as identical as how Henry showed his badge to port workers to convince them nothing was wrong. He might be a corrupt officer, but he wasn’t a bad one.

“Why don’t you come inside Detective? I could offer you a cup of coffee.” Henry said as he saw another man come out of a car in the background.

“No thank you,” Wagner smiled formally again. “We’d rather not disturb your family.”

When he said this Henry knew. He knew that his gut feeling was right. Something was very wrong and not about to get arrested wrong either. It was much worse. Detective Wagner saw the hesitation in Henry’s face. He could tell he wasn’t fooling him. He could tell he wasn’t going to fool him. Wagner’s formal smile became a very serious expression all of a sudden. The kind of expressions sociopaths get when they drop their masks.

“And I’m sure you wouldn’t want us to disturb them either.” Wagner said.

He wasn’t hiding anything anymore, his partner in the background wasn’t trying to act like a cop either. Henry knew what exactly he meant. He could guess what was about to happen.

“Shall we?” Wagner said, pointing at the car with his head, “Don’t worry, you can put the envelope into the mailbox for your wife to find.”

And now hearing this everything was crystal clear. What he had guessed was now the truth. As he slowly made his way to the mailbox he tried to feel his gun on his hip, it wasn’t there. He didn’t need that gun in his career almost ever. Never fired it, just pointed it couple of times and that was many years ago. But it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, even if he had that gun he’d be on the floor by the time he tried to draw it. As he closed the mailbox he knew there were only two options for him. The bad and the worse. All he could do now was to not traumatize his wife and son with his shot up body on the lawn. He followed the man to a black SUV that was parked just across the street for god knows how long. The man opened up the back seat and he got in. In there were three men already sitting including the one dude he saw standing in the background sitting right next to him. Last man entered the car and now he was with four dudes in a car that looked so messed up that if you saw any of them in an alleyway late at night you’d change your path. And just like that one of the best moments of his life became the worst. He could see his wife come out on the front porch and look around his car. The woman that he was suppose to kiss goodbye to work was now just standing there trying to understand why his car was there but her husband wasn’t. After the car was too distant to see his house his phone started buzzing but the man that was sitting on the passenger seat looked him dead in the eye and slowly shook his head. Other man next to him grabbed his phone and declined the call, it was from his wife.

“Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.” Wagner said.

Henry didn’t say anything for a while, he was still trying to process the feelings. After a while though he swallowed his fear and asked:

“Who are you?”

“We’re men that are just like you Henry,” Wagner smiled, “We’re just smart enough to not double cross the mafia with the cartel,”

Other man started giggling a little, one man whispered something in another language.

“Mr. Gerard is very disappointed in you.”

Henry didn’t respond. How could he? He violated his oath long ago to offer his a son a better future, to offer his wife a little comfort in life that an officer salary couldn’t buy. That’s the thing with being in the law enforcement, you work with really powerful people. Some you encounter as they’re in their darkest hours, some you do favors for. And being in the same room with them sometimes gets to you, makes you think you’re one of them. The truth is you’re just a pawn, no different from those cartel men that were carrying those heavy boxes back at the port. No different than the man that lit up that god damn vanilla cigar next to Henry.

 As the driver was taking them out of the city Henry was sure this was what he thought he was. There was a little comfort in it for some reason, most people don’t get to know when or how it’ll happen. He knew both. In the end he was a piece of garbage like how his wife said once as they were arguing, a piece of garbage that will never give his child those memories every father owes their child. A piece of garbage that will just disappear for seemingly no reason at all. He felt the tears fill up his eyes, hair on his arms were raising with the fear as well but he wasn’t about to let these scum laugh at him once more. He was a pathetic man, he knew it. Best he could do right now was to hide it, perhaps go down as a brave man in the eyes of cartel scum.

“You’re a lucky guy, you know that?” Wagner said, “We’re really busy today so we’ll just make it quick.”

And those were the last words Henry ever heard by anyone. As they pulled over to some field far from anywhere he was terrified. He was almost shaking but this fear wasn’t the top dog in his heart. It was the sadness that was breaking him. The pure sorrow drowned the dread he felt. The sorrow of knowing that his son will always be looking at other parents cheering for their sons and daughters, wondering why his father left him and disappeared with no explanation whatsoever. Henry knew he’d done the worst thing he could do to his son. He left his son a scar that even a lifetime can not heal. In the end Henry’s life wasn’t leaving darkness, it had left if for a brief moment just to sink deeper in it. To sink as deep as it gets. And he deserved hitting rock bottom in the darkness. He deserved it because he gambled.

He gambled everything and in the very end, he lost more than he thought he had.