"Pink Flamingos" #ReedsyUnknown

Pink Flamingos 

Kim was natural at schmoozing to get what she wanted. It was fun to watch. Male customers would come into our candy store. A store full of temptations. 

“Would you like to try our new black licorice wheels? They’re bitter, sweet, and fun to eat! You look like someone who likes things that have a bite.” She would say as she slowly, and sensually put on plastic, loose-fitting gloves. “You can carefully unwind the licorice wheels and eat them as licorice ropes if it’s easier on your teeth. It’s a relaxing part of my nightly ritual. Very relaxing. Especially with a brandy night cap.”

“I’ll take half a pound.” The customer would say, and she would get the sale. After they left the store, she would gloat, and Patty would come out of the office and give her a high five. I never got high fives from Patty. From anyone, actually. I lived in the shadows of others. People saw me, but they did not want to talk to me about candy, the toys we sold, or the expensive candy displays I would spend entire shifts creating. Kim was good at the gab. She could sell anything. I was just good at doing all the side work and running our only register. We were located close to a movie theater in a strip mall, and on big movie nights, Kim would be on the floor upselling, and I would be busting my butt doing everything else. 

One night, we had a line out the front door. We had to limit the amount of people who entered our small candy shop. If we went above capacity, security would get onto Patty, who would get onto me- not the Star Employee of every month, Kim. 

I decided to ask Kim and Patty, both, if I could try some of my sales techniques on the floor for a shift. It was going to be a busy shift. The theater manager called Patty to give her a heads up that they had sold out of eight of twelve shows, and it was not even six o’ clock! 

Kids. Soon there would be unsupervised children everywhere. They would be sticking the sanitary tongues and scoops into their mouths. They would spill our special, sold-by-color M&M’s all over the floor, and they would pick them up and eat them! Gross! Yuck! I wanted to work with the parents. I wanted to show Patty that I could do more than sell crappy licorice wheels. I knew I could sell out of all our plush toys early for the upcoming holidays. That would not only thrill Patty, but the owner as well. No store in the chain had ever sold out completely, but I knew I could. Our over-priced plush toys would soon be out of here never to return, and it would be only because of me. Then, I, who had been daydreaming a bit, heard a large crash! More M&M’s hit the ground as a little boy pulled on the lever, thus, releasing six pounds of pink and blue M&M’s all over the freshly mopped floor. As I swept them up, the colors just smeared on the white tile, so I had to get down on all fours, and scrub up the mess by hand. Thanks, kid. Thank you! Do not come again- I thought as I threw away over sixty-dollars of, “Baby Reveal,” M&M’s. 

Then, Gina, the manager of Victoria’s Secret walked in. I knew she liked pink, and all our pink M&M’s were in the trash. She was shopping for her ugly, little niece again. The brat would always mess up my plush toy display, and, of course, I would have to put everything back with a smile on my face. I got an idea. I might have just what she was looking for. Three-year-olds do not need that much sugar- even if it is pretty. I had two four-foot-tall, plush pink flamingos in the back still in the box. I had only read about them. I had not yet seen them with my own eyes. Perhaps, Gina would like to take a special look. 

“Gina, follow me! I know just the thing you need since we’re out of pink M&M’s, Strawberry Jellybeans, and your favorite dark-chocolate almonds. It has been busy.” 

I took her to our storage and did the big unboxing. The flamingo would even look great in her store on the counter by all the full-length mirrors. I thought it was quite the welcoming decoration, and bored kids that did not need bras or panties could play with the flamingo while they waited forever for their ridiculous mothers to buy expensive products that were not going to distract their husbands from their stretch marks. 

Gina took both flamingos! I wish I could show you what they looked like, but they are gone. I still have shelves and shelves of inventory. The flamingoes cost Gina $180! That was more than enough to make up for the spilt M&M’s, and Gina said she would be back when we got our next shipment of candy. Just what I was looking for. The chance to show my boss what I could do. Yes, I will clean up the vomit in the Swedish Fish bowl. I will scrub your nasty floors, but every day that I devote my short time on Earth to this small candy shop, I wanted at least one hour on the floor to show Patty what I could do. Soon, this will be my store. 

Kim will not scrub the floors. Kim does not like kids, but, then again, neither do I, but I can manage them. 

Gina came back the following Tuesday- our shipment day. Her niece loved the pink flamingos, and she ordered a case of pink M&M’s, Strawberry Jellybeans, and the dark-chocolate almonds. 

Sales were up all-around ever since Patty gave Kim the boot, and I became the head of promotions and sales. I still had to clean up vomit, but I was finally climbing the ladder. I was still close to the bottom, but, well, you know what they say about that.