Trigger Warning:

This story addresses multiple sensitive themes, including mental health struggles, poverty, child exploitation, physical abuse, manipulation, and coercion. It explores the harsh realities of life in an impoverished environment, the emotional impact of hunger and neglect, and the pressure to engage in illegal activities as a means of survival. Reader discretion is advised.

Title: Silent Screams

Diary Entry 1 - March 5th

Mama always says, “Keep it inside, Bobby. Don’t let it out.” But it’s too heavy. Every time I try to swallow my words, they get stuck, and it feels like I’m choking on them. So I’m writing them down. Maybe if I put them on paper, they’ll stop clawing at my insides. I’ve got a secret, a big one. And if I don’t say it somewhere, I think it’ll eat me alive.

Diary Entry 2 - March 7th

It’s the kind of hungry that hurts, the kind that makes your stomach curl up and whimper like a kicked dog. Mama said there wasn’t enough, so she split her food between me and Mia. I watched her pick at the crumbs left on her plate, pretending to be full. I hate that she does that. I hate that she has to pretend. I try to act tough, like I’m used to it, but my belly growls so loud sometimes, I’m scared it’ll give me away.

Last night, Mama asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I lied and said, “A doctor,” because it’s what she wanted to hear. The truth is, I don’t know. I just want to be someone who doesn’t have to worry about where the next meal is coming from.

Diary Entry 3 - March 9th

I haven’t been to school in three days. My shoes are falling apart. The last time I wore them, the kids saw the holes and started laughing. They called me “Swiss Cheese Shoes.” I tried taping them up, but it didn’t work. I wish I could tell them to stop, but what’s the point? Talking never changes anything around here.

I saw Mr. Jones, my math teacher, at the corner store today. He didn’t recognize me. I think he thought I was just another kid from the neighborhood. He looked right past me, like I wasn’t even there. I guess that’s how most people see me.

Diary Entry 4 - March 10th

Mama’s got a new bruise on her arm. I asked her where it came from, and she said she bumped into something at work, but I don’t believe her. She’s been working at that diner for as long as I can remember, and I’ve never seen her come home with bruises before. She says she’s okay, but I see the way her hands shake when she thinks no one’s looking.

I wish I could help her. I wish I could make everything better, but I’m just a kid. What can I do?

Diary Entry 5 - March 12th

The landlord came by today. Mama tried to act normal, but I could see she was scared. He was yelling about rent and saying things I didn’t understand, but I knew it was bad. He left after a while, but I could still hear his words echoing in my head. “You can’t stay here for free.” Mama didn’t say anything after he left. She just sat at the table, staring at the wall.

I hate him. I hate him for making Mama look so small, like she was nothing. I want to do something, but what? I’m just a kid.

Diary Entry 6 - March 13th

Mama came home late last night. She didn’t think I was awake, but I was. Her eyes were puffy, and her cheeks were wet. I’ve never seen her cry like that before. She stood by the window for a long time, just staring out into the dark. I wanted to get up, hug her, tell her everything would be okay, but I didn’t move. I was too scared that if I spoke, she’d break into a thousand little pieces.

I keep thinking about that bruise on her arm. I know she’s not telling me the truth, and it makes my stomach turn. What if someone’s hurting her? What if she’s in trouble, and she’s trying to protect me by not saying anything?

Diary Entry 7 - March 15th

I saw a man follow Mama home today. I was across the street, hiding behind the fence, but I saw him. He was tall, with a scruffy beard and eyes that didn’t blink. I wanted to run up and yell at him to leave her alone, but my legs felt like they were stuck in cement. Mama didn’t see me. She just walked faster, and he disappeared around the corner.

I don’t know who he is, but I don’t like him.

Diary Entry 8 - March 16th

I did something bad today. I didn’t mean to, but I was so hungry. My hands were shaking, and I felt dizzy. I went into the corner store, and before I knew it, I’d stuffed a candy bar into my pocket. The clerk looked at me when I walked out, but he didn’t say anything. I ran all the way home, my heart pounding like it was about to burst. I felt sick afterward, not from the candy, but from what I’d done.

I keep telling myself that it’s okay, that I did what I had to do. But then I see Mama’s face, and I feel like the worst person in the world.

Diary Entry 9 - March 18th

Mama found the wrapper. I tried to hide it, but she always finds everything. She didn’t yell. She just looked at me, her eyes all sad and tired. “Bobby, why didn’t you ask?” she said. I didn’t know what to say. How could I explain that I was too ashamed, that I didn’t want her to see how weak I was? She hugged me, and I buried my face in her shoulder. She whispered, “It’s okay, baby. We’ll be okay.” But I don’t believe her. Not anymore.

She keeps saying it, like if she says it enough times, it’ll come true. But I can see the truth in her eyes. We’re not okay, and I don’t know if we ever will be.

Diary Entry 10 - March 20th

I went back to the corner store today, but this time I didn’t steal anything. I just stood outside, looking through the glass. I could see all the snacks, the candies, the chips, and I felt so small, like I didn’t belong there. Mr. Patel, the owner, came out and asked me if I was okay. I nodded, but I didn’t say anything. I wanted to tell him that I was hungry, that I was scared, that I didn’t know what to do. But I couldn’t.

He patted me on the head and went back inside. I stood there for a while longer before I finally walked away.

Diary Entry 11 - March 22nd

I saw a group of kids from school hanging out by the basketball court today. I wanted to go over, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. They looked so… normal. Like they didn’t have a care in the world. I don’t even know how to talk to them anymore. What would I say? “Hey, did you eat today?”

I wish I could be like them. I wish I could just be a kid, but every time I try, something pulls me back.

Diary Entry 12 - March 23rd

I met a man today. His name’s Mr. J. He said he’s seen me around and that I look like a smart kid. I don’t know what that means, but no one’s ever called me smart before, so I listened. He told me he could help me make some money. “Easy money,” he said, “the kind that’ll help you and your mama out.” I don’t know. Mama always told me not to trust strangers, but Mr. J seemed… different. He smiled a lot, and his clothes were so clean. Maybe he’s telling the truth.

Diary Entry 13 - March 25th

I saw Mr. J again. He gave me a $20 bill and told me to buy something nice for myself. I tried to give it back, but he wouldn’t take it. “Keep it, kid. You’ve earned it,” he said, even though I hadn’t done anything. I went to the store and bought some milk and bread for Mama. When she asked where I got the money, I lied and said I found it. She looked at me funny but didn’t ask any more questions. I wish she had.

I keep thinking about what Mr. J said, about making easy money. I don’t want to steal anymore, but I don’t know if I have any other choice.

Diary Entry 14 - March 27th

Mr. J wants me to do a job for him. He says it’s nothing big, just a little delivery. “Think of it as helping out,” he said. I don’t know. Something about it feels wrong, but he promised he wouldn’t ask me to do anything dangerous. I want to believe him. I want to help Mama, but I’m scared. What if I mess up? What if he gets mad?

Diary Entry 15 - March 29th

I did it. I took the package to the address Mr. J gave me. It was a small brown box, and I didn’t ask what was inside. The guy who took it from me looked at me like he knew everything about me, and I hated it. When I got back, Mr. J gave me another $20. “See? Easy, right?” he said. I nodded, but I felt like I was sinking, like there was something heavy tied around my neck, dragging me down.

Diary Entry 16 - April 3rd

I haven’t slept in days. Every time I close my eyes, I see that guy’s face, staring at me, like he knows my secret. I thought helping Mr. J would make things better, but it just makes me feel worse. I want to tell Mama, but I can’t. If she knew, she’d be so disappointed. And I can’t bear that.

Diary Entry 17 - April 10th

Mr. J isn’t a nice man. I should’ve known, but I didn’t want to see it. Today, he told me if I didn’t do what he said, he’d hurt Mama. He didn’t say how, but I believed him. He was smiling when he said it, but his eyes were cold. I wanted to run, but my feet felt like they were glued to the ground. I don’t know what to do. I’m trapped.

Diary Entry 18 - April 15th

I can’t take this anymore. I feel dirty, like there’s something crawling under my skin, and no matter how hard I scrub, it won’t come off. I thought I was helping Mama, but now I think I’m just making things worse. I don’t know who I am anymore.

Diary Entry 20 - April 20th

Mama got a job at a diner! She was so happy, she started singing while she was making dinner. I haven’t seen her this happy in a long time. For a moment, I forgot about Mr. J and the packages and everything. I even smiled. But then I remembered, and it all came crashing back. I don’t deserve to be happy. Not after what I’ve done.

Diary Entry 21 - April 28th

I have to get away from here. I don’t know where I’ll go, but I can’t stay. Mr. J said he’d come back, and I can’t let him hurt Mama. I’m scared, but I have to be brave. I’m writing this down so that if something happens, someone will know the truth.

Diary Entry 22 - May 1st

I don’t want to die. But I don’t see any other way out. People always say, “There’s light at the end of the tunnel,” but all I see is darkness. I’m tired of being scared. I’m tired of pretending everything’s okay. I’m so, so tired.

Diary Entry 21 - May 5th

I decided. Tomorrow, I’m leaving. I’m sorry, Mama. I know you’ll be mad, and I know you’ll be sad, but I can’t do this anymore. I wish I could be stronger, but I’m not. I’m just a kid who’s in way over his head. I love you, Mama. I hope you can forgive me one day.

Diary Entry 23 - May 6th

I can hear Mama singing in the kitchen. She’s making pancakes, my favorite. She doesn’t know I’m leaving, and that makes my chest hurt. I almost want to stay, but I can’t. I have to go before Mr. J comes back. I wish things were different. I wish I could stay and have pancakes with Mama and pretend everything’s okay. But I can’t. I love you, Mama. More than anything in the world.t