Claire's very good fortune

Submitted into Contest #257 in response to: Write a story in which a case of mistaken identity plays a pivotal role.... view prompt

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Coming of Age Contemporary Crime

Claire’s good fortune

1,682 words

Claire was walking on air. Just a few nights before, she had met a guy who knocked her right off her feet. It all started when a few of her girlfriends took her to see a local musician, someone she had heard about from a friend, someone who had been performing at the “Back Door” for the last several weeks. She was taken back by him, and could not believe the immediate connection they had; it seemed as though he was singing every song for her, and they stared into each other’s eyes throughout the evening. Later, he came to her table during a break, and invited her to a personal concert at his home “the coming weekend.” She accepted immediately.

Claire had never done anything quite so impulsive, but it just seemed so right to her. Her friends were surprised at how quickly she accepted his invitation; it wasn’t at all like her.

Later that evening, she called her mother to tell her about him, and to ask for her help in choosing a formal dress for his concert. Her mother was happy to help, but not wanting her daughter to be disappointed, she downplayed the event, telling Claire it seemed more like a fairy-tail; “perhaps it’s a little too good to be true.” But Claire remained excited, and spent more than normal on her new dress. It was even a little lower cut than she would normally wear, but she wanted to be attractive for him. Her mother was not pleased about that, but she held her tongue, wanting to be supportive of Claire.

“He is so nice, and even told me I could bring a friend if I liked.” When her friend Paula heard that, she jumped at the chance to accompany Claire, almost inviting herself. When they arrived, they found the house was quite large, as was the crowd, and Claire had an immediate case of nerves as they entered. However, she was delighted when he met them at the door, and he quickly put Claire at ease, fixing a drink for both she and Paula. He was, of course, the center of attention, so excused himself, leaving the girls to fend for themselves. Claire knew he would reconnect later in the evening, but to add to her distress, Paula saw someone she knew, and slipped away almost immediately, leaving Claire to feel totally alone and vulnerable. To top it all, she could see someone moving closer to her, and was quite surprised when he spoke.

“Excuse me Miss, do you know those men over there?”

Uh… Which ones?

Those three in the corner, there, near the piano. Do you know them?

No, not all of them. Just Art; he's the blond guy with the beard. He invited me to this party. This is his house, you know.

Oh yes, of course. Yes, well, I know him. He's a friend of sorts. How well do you know him?

Why do you ask? And listen, I'm sorry, but I don’t know you, and you are making me feel a bit uncomfortable.

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry; my name’s Boyd, and I would never want to make you feel uncomfortable. I'm just concerned about you. Listen… I don't mean to be suspicious, but… Well, I’m sorry, but I think I saw Art put something in your drink, and I've noticed those three whispering and staring your way. Honestly, since Art is just a casual acquaintance, I, I... well… You can never be too careful, you know, I always say.

Oh, wow. I just met him at the Back Door earlier this week. He is so nice; he even bought me a drink. He plays the piano and sings there. He even asked me what I’d like to hear, and when I told him I love McCartney, he jumped right into the old Beatles’ tunes; it kind of blew me away. He has a great voice, too, and can really play the piano. I'm sure we will hear him before the night is over.

Yeah? Well, I hope so. That’s why I’m here. I really like the Beatles too. I play guitar myself, and I do quite a few of their tunes. Do you like James Taylor?

You bet I do. I love him. Do you do his music?

Oh yes. As a matter of fact, I do everyone he ever wrote, and if I must say, I do them pretty darn well. Wow, listen to me. I’m going to make myself blush, ha! It is true, though; I've been playing and singing for years. Maybe I ‘ll get to play for you some time, you think?

Well, sure, maybe.

Hey, I told you my name, but you haven’t told me yours. Do you mind if I ask….?

Claire. It’s Claire.

A beautiful name, Claire, and it suits you so well. Claire, you are beautiful, if you don't mind me saying. That is such a gorgeous dress, too.

Now you are going to make me blush, Boyd, ha! Cut that out.

Claire, please believe me, I sincerely do not mean to upset you, but I am very concerned for you. Those three are still leering in your direction. You didn't drink that drink Art made for you, did you? He can be a rascal at times. He has a lot of women friends.

Yes, I did, at least some of it. Listen Boyd, I’m keenly aware of the date rape problem, and I watched him closely when he made me that drink. He didn't put anything in it; I’m sure I would have seen him.

Claire, a guy can be sleight of hand, you know. And, sometimes those kinds pick out the most beautiful girl in the room, and, well…  So, just the same, let me get you a fresh drink and throw the rest of that one out, okay? Smells like gin and tonic to me, huh? That's my drink, too. I'll get us both a fresh one… Okay, Claire?

Okay, if you think... Okay, I like lots of lime, alright?

Listen, Claire, now I'm serious. You keep your eye on those three. I have a feeling they're up to no good. They keep staring over here at you, lady. It just doesn't seem right to me. It’s making me nervous. Do you plan on staying here late tonight?

Well, kind of, yes. Art asked me to stay and have a nightcap with him at the end of the evening, and I was thinking I would. My friend Paula is here too, and I can probably get her to hang with me, at least I'm going to ask her to stay with me, especially now, you know.

Listen, I'm going to get our drinks, and when I get back, please don't let any of those guys near yours, okay?

Oh damn, Boyd, you really are starting to make me feel concerned…. I do see those guys kind of gawking this way. Do you really think…?

Let’s just say I am concerned. Hang tight, Claire, and I'll be right back, okay? 

Here you go, Claire. I can promise you that none of those guys got near either of these drinks. Those guys are beginning to make me think they are Bill Cosby types.

Oh, God! I hope not…

Oh man, Claire, those guys are watching you like a hawk. I think I need to get you out of here, huh? I'll be glad to take you home. Do you live nearby?

Well… I hate to leave, Boyd, I really do. But… Well, oh boy, I can see what you mean. Those guys are really staring at me. It's frightening. I’m so scared. Okay, okay. Listen, let me tell Paula, and I'll get my coat, and we can slip out.

Forget Paula, Claire. Looks like she hooked up with Jerry over there. He’s really a good guy. I can vouch for him; I’m sure she'll be safe.

Well, okay I hope you’re right. Shhh! I need to slip out when Art isn’t looking. I’ll go get my coat. Oh, I hate to leave without saying something, but…

Sure… I understand. He’s looking the other way, Claire. Go now…

Art could see that Claire had her coat, and so he rushed across the room to see if she was okay.. “Claire, Claire, where are you going in such a hurry? Are you okay?”

Oh, Uh, yes, Art, I'm fine.

Are you leaving? You know, I was hoping you might stay around after the others have gone.

Well, please forgive me, Art. I 'm not feeling very well, and your friend Boyd agreed to take me home.

Claire, I thought you knew that guy. Sorry, but I’ve never met him, and I have been racking my brain, wondering who he is (?). I asked my two buddies over there if they knew him; they said he looks familiar, but they can't place him, either. Who is he?

Oh Art, I’ve got a bad feeling about all of this. Let me ask you, is that guy my friend Paula’s talking with named Jerry?

No, no. That’s Dave Small. He’s a good friend, and plays bass with me sometimes. He agreed to play with me tonight. There is no one named Jerry here, at least, I don’t think so.

Art, I'm feeling really weird. I think I had better sit down. Will you please find that guy, Boyd, and bring him back here? I'd appreciate it if you would stick around while I have a little chat with him. Okay? I think he may have spiked my drink.

Claire, listen sweetheart. That guy, “Boyd?” He flew out of here like his hair was on fire. I think you are very fortunate tonight, my lady. That kind of stuff doesn’t go in my house. I'm going after that creep.

Hey Dave! Dave, Paula, will you please take care of Clair? She is not feeling very well. And, uh, oh, Dave, will you call the police for me, please? Tell them about it, will you, Claire?

I’ll be right back… I’ve got to grab that guy!

The end

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June 28, 2024 19:25

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1 comment

Emily Nghiem
13:18 Jul 06, 2024

You present an interesting story that has more depth than this limited time and format allowed. I would encourage you to develop this and edit it with a team to bring out your full potential. I had trouble following the mix of dialogue with narrative. It may help to introduce the names of the characters sooner, instead of dropping their names, where you also name-dropped well known celebrities that stand out more, and above the characters in your story. I also thought the negative reference to "date rape" was too abrupt as well. I believe th...

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