The Shadow

Do you ever get a strange sense of danger being near? Do you notice it only happens when certain other things may be occurring or even at specific times of the day? Do you think you may be going crazy with things you have seen or heard that have no scientific proof of why they are happening? I do. My name is Carley and this is my story.

From a young age I have seen things that others can’t see. Other people who are standing right next to me can’t see what I can. Funny thing is when this thing I see makes noises, other people can usually hear it even without seeing. When I was younger I blew these things off as just my imagination but how can you keep using that excuse when you reach your thirties and you still have this strange gift or curse depending on how you look at it. I refer to this thing I see as, “The Shadow”. Shadow pretty much explains the color is black. He changes shape too. Sometimes The Shadow is 7 foot tall, sometimes it’s peeking out from behind doors at what looks about 5 foot tall. He never speaks, but rather makes knocking noises. He has no clear visible face just a shadow figure. I believe he also has made my music box go off by itself multiple times. Now I love scary movies so I tend to always try to find a logical explanation for what may be going on with The Shadow at the time. Last thing I want is people not believing me if I do decide to let them into that part of my life. You don’t just go spreading that sort of thing around, too risky. People immediately think your on drugs or need to be in a mental hospital. I even thought it would be ok to confide in my grandmother what I had seen. Her immediate response, “ Well, thats be cause you smoke marijuana. You will see all sorts of things.” Thanks grandma. But then how do you explain all the time before I started smoking? Luckily I didn’t smoke marijuana until I hit my thirties so I had plenty of events occur in my adult life not on drugs to know that wasn’t the cause but I would say it opened my mind up much more to figuring this thing out. Prior to marijuana I was on anti-depressant drugs and narcotic pain killers which none made me hallucinate. So, that is not it either. I even talked to a doctor about it. He didn’t think I was crazy. He was actually very helpful trying to help me figure this out. He didn’t automatically label me which was a nice change. 

One time I went to a psychic. Not thinking she was actually going to be helpful. I actually went because at that time in my life i was trying to take one hour a week to do something for me. This psychic was a long time family friend kind of. Not much family actually liked her. They thought she was nuts and to be fair I thought the same thing. She spoke to me of my dead great grandmother. Told me she was in the room with us and that everything would be ok. I wasn’t looking for the dead to tell me my life would eventually be ok I just had to hold on a little longer. That is not what I was looking for at all. I was just trying to take time for me to try crazy things. I was searching for independence. She did tell me I had a very good third eye and that my ora was very mucky. So she cleansed my ora too. We sat and talked for a little over an hour about anything. At the time that I met with the psychic I had not had a lot of issue with The Shadow. So, unfortunately we didn't even get to discuss him. She passed away not long after our visit otherwise I’m sure I would have gone back. She may have been crazy but she was good company and had a heart for giving. Sometimes we don’t have to understand everything we just need someone to listen to the crazy part of you. This helps you figure things out. I am a very visual person. When my daughter asks me how to pronounce a word she spells it to me, usually because my hands are full cooking dinner or washing laundry. But I always stop her right away and I stop what I am doing, close my eyes, and then tell her to start spelling. Then as she starts spelling I visualize myself writing the word. Then I am able to answer. Things like this make me seem too slow to most people. If people were more patient they would see how good I can get if just given a chance. I am the type of person that hates to be wrong. Well, this also makes me very cautious. If I don't know the answer to something, I will not answer until I know for sure. I grew up knowing that mistakes not only can harm you but others around you. This all makes for a lonely world to live in but also provides opportunity for you to have loyal friends. With all that being said, now you know more about my character and are ready to hear the worst episode I had with The Shadow.

It was about 11pm on a weekend. At the time I was living with my sister and my two daughters. I was going through a divorce and had moved in with my sister for help. My youngest daughter at the time was 4 years old and had her own bed in the same room as me. But on this night she had to sleep with her sister who was 10 years old. I had been working at the local pharmacy which if you have ever worked at a pharmacy you know how stressful and at times life threatening the job can be. So, needless to say I was exhausted and getting ready for bed. My youngest was finishing up a movie in her sisters room while I started to lay down in bed. As I climb under the covers I start to feel strange in a flight or fight sort of situation. I paused half way through getting into bed. With one leg still on the floor I pause. Like I am waiting for some huge explosion of danger I just freeze and wait. For what I have no idea. I was terrified, I did know that. For some reason all my danger signs were up with blaring lights and fireworks. Any thing to get my attention that something extremely bad was about to happen to me. As a single mother this terrified me even more. It is one thing to have your own life in danger, but entirely something new when your kids lives are at stake too. But I was extremely lucky to have my sister. She was a bible college graduate and had a very strong faith in god. At least that’s what I thought of her.

My oldest came in and asked if I was ok. I immediately replied, “no and go get your aunt fast.” As soon as the words had left my mouth I felt it take hold of me. It was literally my last cry for help I could make. I felt a huge darkness surround me and literally make it hard for me to breath. I was trying to focus on how to fight this being that only I could see. My eyes were closed with one leg still on the floor. I remember trying to reach for my crystal my aunt had given me to help ward of negative energy. But no matter my strength I couldn’t reach that crystal. While I struggled, my sister and oldest daughter reentered the room. My sister runs to my side asking what is wrong. I am unable to move or speak but not due to lack of trying. My sister instructs my daughter to go back to her room and not to let her or her sister leave until she comes and gets them. My daughter quickly does as she is told. As my sister was doing so I was still in this weird trans. One that I could hear what was actually physically happening but couldn’t respond in that world and then this what seemed to be a spiritual battle. The spiritual battle with The Shadow. I knew it was him because I had a quick vision flash in front of me with his figure. Then I was swallowed in darkness unable to breath or move. Knowing I could no longer move or speak I did the only thing I could think of. I began to recite Psalm 23. It was a special verse in the bible to me and one that I had ironclad memorized. Something that I could repeat no matter the situation word for word all of a sudden was lost to me. I knew I knew it which just made me more scared. I finally screamed stop inside my head. And magically everything stopped. All I could see was dark but I could breath. So I reached for god. I knew if I was at deaths door the only thing to save me was god. So I pictured a small candle flame. Very small mind you. Only bright enough to see one word written on a small page. It read: The. So I repeated what I could see in that flame over and over and over. Soon there were more words visible to me. What I saw next was the words: The Lord is. Again, I repeated those words in my head and as more appeared I read more and more until I was saying the entire verse word for word.

By this time my sister had also started her own prayers. She had her own she liked to say when these things happened. You see my sister may not have been able to see what I saw but she was able to sense them. And at times hear them. Is this a genetic thing? I’m not sure anyone will ever know. At least the living will never know. 

My sister may not have completely understood my visions but she listened and believed. Between both our continued prayers, which went on for over an hour, we were working up to a battle that was not foreseen. As we separately prayed and she held onto me tight as ever, I could feel a tightness in my chest getting worse and worse with every breath. Fighting panic I remained focused on my prayer. My world literally spinning out of control. It made me dizzy to the point I thought I might puke. I was so focused on those words in the flame, I didn’t realize how long I had actually stopped breathing for. Must have been quite awhile because I let out a horrific gasping scream. It was extremely weird sounding. It was like all the air in the world all of a sudden entered my lungs. When this happened I could feel myself falling through an endless tunnel of darkness. Wind blowing through my hair bringing tears to my eyes with the amount of force that I was falling through while squeezing my chest tighter and tighter. Until, eventually there was a release followed by my horrific gasp.

Once my body was released I looked up and could see The Shadow outside my bedroom window. This time though, he had red glowing eyes. He looked super angry. But it was like he couldn't try to attack me again at that time. I am not really sure why. He just kept floating outside my window with his scary eyes staring right through me. I never felt more scared in my entire life. Once I was able to, I looked at my sister with tears all over my face. She just looked at me for a moment and then asked, “Is he gone?” Please keep in mind, my sister had not been told what was happening. I didn’t even tell my daughter when I urgently asked her to go fetch my sister. She just walked in and could see I was stuck crying in some awkward position. She knew I needed help but not knowing exactly what was wrong. Remember me telling you my sister cannot see The Shadow but can sense and sometimes hear them? She later told me she could sense The Shadow when she was walking to my room. So she grabbed ahold of me and prayed. It was a long time before I saw The Shadow again. He seems to know when I am vulnerable and down on my luck. He loves the dark and love to intimidate you. I sleep every night with a rosary in my grasp, then say a prayer and hope it keeps him away. I also noticed he seems to not like certain people in my life and will stay his distance until they are gone. My sister is one of them. I cannot say for sure I was being possessed by a demon or just an angry ghost. But I do believe it truly happened, there is no scientific proof, but my sister and I know because we were there. Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t make it not real. I don’t understand the stock market but I know it is there and exists. Find comfort in others with similar experiences, never give up hope and stand your ground.