The Last Thirty Seconds

Written in response to: Write a story about someone whose time is running out.... view prompt

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Fiction Funny

THE LAST THIRTY SECONDS

I looked at Ken Jennings. He stood there passively, waiting for the thirty seconds to tick down on Final Jeopardy!. Either I knew the answer, or I didn’t. And, unfortunately, I did not. 

Crappola! So close.

Three Minutes Ago

“The category for Final Jeopardy! will be [CHIME] Word Origins. And the clue is coming up right after the contestants make their wagers.”

Bet big, or bet nothing? If I bet big and know the answer, then yeah. But, if I bet big and don’t know the answer, then sad face.

I really, really, really hoped that I made the right wager. I did not want to be that person that people watching all over North America yelled at for being math-dumb. But it wouldn’t matter unless I figured out the answer to Final Jeopardy!

The theme song filled my ears.

Go time!

One Minute Ago

“A very exciting game comes down to this Final Jeopardy! category, Word Origins. Here is the clue,” [CHIME] “‘The first recorded use of this word in print was when Nathan Hope posted an image of his busted lip online in 2002.’ You have thirty seconds contestants. Good luck.”

Oh, God!

Thirty Minutes Ago

Holy Crap! I’m on the Alex Trebek Stage! I’m on Jeopardy!

If someone had asked me what it was like walking on stage, I wouldn’t have been able to tell them. It was all a blur — a really cool blur. People clapping, music playing.

Ahhh! The theme song! It’s really going to happen!

“From the Alex Trebek Stage at Sony Picture Studios, This … Is … Jeopardy!

Johnny Glbert! I can’t believe that I’m hearing Johnny Gilbert in person!  

“Today’s contestant are …”

Argh! The camera’s looking right at me, and Johnny Gilbert is saying my name. The only thing I can do is look at the camera, smile, and hope I don’t look like a deer caught in the headlights.

“And now, here is the host of Jeopardy — Ken Jennings!”

Look at hm! All fancy in his suit! I love Ken Jennings!

“Thank you Johnny Gilbert! Welcome back to Jeopardy!. Today we welcome Jordon, Michael, and Chloe to the Alex Trebek Stage.”

Ahhhhh! Ken Jennings just said my name! Heart emoji!

“Today’s Jeopardy! categories are: All In A Day’s Work, Art and Artists, Silent ‘K’, Math 4U, Named for a Place, and Let’s Rap, Kids!” 

Ken looked our way.

“Jordon, you’re our returning champion. You select first.”

And, we were off.  

The longest thirty minutes of my life.

I didn’t get going until three or four clues had been selected. The buzzer was trickier than I expected. Finally, I was able to ring in.

Silent ‘K’ for four hundred,” said Michael, who’d answered the last clue correctly.

Ken read the clue, “‘A small hill, grassy or not.’”

I pushed the buzzer.

“Chloe.”

Eek. My turn!

“What is a knoll?”

“That’s correct. You make the next selection.”

“I’ll take Math 4U for four hundred, please.”

“‘The three sides of this kind of triangle are all of different lengths.’”

Buzz.

“Chloe.”

“What’s scalene?”

“Correct!”

Math 4U for six hundred, please.”

“‘It’s the ‘useful’ term for a relation that pairs members of one set with unique members of another set.’”

Buzz.

“Chloe.”

“What is a function?”

“Correct.”

Math 4U for eight hundred, please.”

“‘Also known as Napier’s constant, this lowercase value is used to represent the base of a natural logarithm.’”

Buzz.

“Chloe.”

“What is ‘e’?”

“Correct.”

I figured my math knowledge was about tapped out, so I changed categories.

All in a Day’s Work for two hundred, please.”

“‘This daily trip to the ol’ salt mine, averages about thirty minutes each way in L.A. Area.’ Jordan.”

“What is coffee break?”

“No, I’m sorry. Chloe.”

“What is the commute?”

“That’s correct.”

And so it went. I did bark on a clue from Let’s Rap, Kids! The clue was “Started from the bottom, now we’re here. Started from the bottom, now the whole team is here.” I said The Weeknd, duh.

“Oh, I’m sorry, no,” said Ken looking as sad as I felt.

Jordon answered “Who is Drake,” which was, of course, the correct answer.

A few clues later, I did luck out with the Daily Double, though.

“This clue is for you, Chloe. What are you going to wager on Named For A Place?

I took a giant breath in — I’d been holding my breath since the pume, pume, pume sound announcing the Daily Double.  

I had thirty-six hundred dollars..

“I’d like to make it a true Daily Double, Ken.”

There was actually hooting and cheering from the audience. Wow! Who knew?

“Okay, for seventy-two hundred dollars, if you are correct: ‘Any place that attracts a lot of visitors can be called this, even it it’s not in Saudi Arabia.’

Really? That’s seemed absurdly easy. But, as my pops always said, go with your gut.

“Chloe?”

Okay, okay, okay.

“What is Mecca, Ken.”

Holding my breath again. 

“That is correct!”

And the crowd went wild. Sort of. It is Jeopardy!, after all.

At the end of the Jeopardy! round the score was pretty close. I had six thousand, four hundred dollars, Jordan had five thousand, six hundred, and Michael had two thousand, four hundred dollars.

The Double Jeopardy! categories were Presdent’s Day, Women Writers, Take A Peak, Flowers, British English, and Putting the ‘R’ In Entertainment.

It was harder than I thought. I boofed a sixteen hundred dollar flower clue. That stung.

“‘The genus Tagetes is made up of this flower with ‘gold’ in it’s name.’”

Duh. I said goldenrod. I don’t know why I said goldenrod, but I did. Dang! 

Michael knew it was marigold.  

It was pretty neck and neck between Jordon and I, with Jordan ahead by twelve hundred dollars when he hit the first Daily Double in Women Writers.

Ken read the clue. “‘In Letter from Peking, she wrote of an American woman separated from her Chinese-American husband.’”

Jordan shook his head. “I have no idea, Ken.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. That was Pearl Buck. That cost you two thousand dollars. But, there are lots of clues still on the board. Select.”

I was so glad that I hadn’t gotten that clue. I had no idea what the answer was. I don’t think I would have wagered a lot, but still, better Jordan than me.

Poor Michael was suffering mightily. When he got the second Daily Double he was eight hundred in the hole.

“You can wager up to two thousand dollars, Michael.”

“I’d like to wager the full two thousand dollars, Ken.

The audience clapped.

“‘The Greek goddess of the rainbow gave her name to the flower that comes in a rainbow of colours.’”

“Uh … ros— no, Iris. Iris, Ken.”

There was a pause.

“That is correct!”

The audience hooted and clapped. You’d think he just won the US Open!

Michael also added an additional two thousand dollars for the last question in Take A Peak: ‘Margherita Peak in the Democratic Republic of the Congo is Africa’s third highest point, exceeded only by these two Mount ‘K’s.’”

Michael thought for a second. What are Kilimanjaro and …. Kenya?”

“That’s right. Another two thousand dollars for you, Michael.”

By the end of the Double Jeopardy! round Jordan and I were tied —twelve thousand four hundred dollars each. Michael had a respectable five thousand one hundred dollars.

Now

Come on Chloe! Think!

I scribbled down my answer just before the theme song ended.

 “Michael, you’re up first. What term did you write down?” Ken looked to the answer on the podium. “What is duckface?' Unfortunately, that is not the correct response. What did it cost you? All of it, dropping you to zero.”

He turned to me. “Chloe, what did you write down? ‘What is a selfie?' That is correct! What did you wager?” Ken looked at my podium. “All of it!“ The crowd gasped. “That takes you to twenty-four thousand eight hundred dollars.”

Ken turned to Jordan.

“It’s all up to you, Jordan. What was your answer?” He looked at Jordan. “‘What is a selfie.? That’s correct! Now it all comes down to your wager.” Pause. “Twelve thousand, three hundred and ninety-nine dollars.” Ken turned to me. “Chloe Long, you are our new Jeopardy! champion by a margin on one dollar! Congratulations!” 

I couldn’t believe it. I had had beaten a four day champ. And I almost didn’t write down “selfie” — the only reason I had was because time was running out, it was the only thing I could think of, and I needed to write something.  

Thank you social media!

January 27, 2024 04:14

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