When?

When?

Upside down and confused. Cold. The sirens are getting louder; where are they going? Can't they see that I need help here? Whoa, I'm down here!

Shake it off, girl. You can do it, okay there, that's better.

Well, it is cooler out here now than when I left home. The weatherman said it would be in the lower 70s tonight, but when do they get it right? What did he think? March 17^th has never been 71^o after dark, even though it was 75 by noon. I should have worn a jacket. Now that I have freed myself from the seatbelt, I must get out of the car. Hmm, that was easy, too easy. All I did was think about getting out. No, please, this isn't right. How can I be looking at myself inside the car and standing outside here, too?

I feel something pulling me away, but I can't leave. I was going to Bingo for a few hours to think, to clear my head, and hopefully win some money. I wanted Bingo to decide for me. I would kick him out if I won even five dollars when I returned home. If I didn't win, I would have one last night of mind-blowing sex and kick him out in the morning.

That is not my biggest problem right now. How do I get back in my body? In all of the movies I have seen with ghosts, they didn't move on until they finished their purpose. I need to stay with my body or get someone to find me.

I hope the movies were right when they showed things passing through ghosts because they're not stopping; ouch! Dang it, that wasn't supposed to hurt, according to the movies. I guess everyone couldn't see the undead, or maybe he was afraid I would hurt him. Don't people know a ghost can't hurt you? My Aunt Peggy was right: "Ghosts may not hurt you, but they can make you hurt yourself. "I'm new at this ghost thing and don't want to get used to being one. So, I hope these people will be okay with me and stop, maybe if I act like a regular person and try to flag them down. I wave my arms as they drive straight through me. Wow, they are stopping.

"We called 911, and they're on the way. Can we call anyone for you?"

Just open the door, please. I need to get back in there. Thank God you stopped. Thank you. Yes, can you call 975-061x? It's my house number. Well, I guess they can't hear me. At least I have not left the area yet. Thank you, Lord; I know I don't pray the way I should, but if you could give me another chance, I will be the person you want me to be; amen.

(Ugh, a long gasp and a thump)

God gave me the strength to hover over my body and lead someone to the crash site. Or maybe I convinced myself that was what happened. Thank God I'm back in my body. No one would believe what I just experienced if I told this story. The responding company is the fire station where I play Bingo on Monday nights. They felt like family and treated me as such. I have been trying to get hired by the E-911 office in Charlottesville, Virginia, for about two years. The next day would have been my fifth-second interview. I kept hearing you're our strongest civilian interviewer, but I would lose out to transferring 911 operators or to a police or fireman looking to change positions.

The fireman standing next to me during the extraction told me to push with my legs, and I knew I was paralyzed when I felt a tear fall from his face to my lips through the raindrops.

Until that night, I can't say I believed in ghosts. I only had known two people to die that I was close to. My aunt Peggy and my father. A jealous boyfriend killed my aunt. My mother discovered the details of Aunt Peggy's death and vowed to kill him the same way. He would not let her go out with her girlfriends, and when she said he would have to kill her to stop her, he shot her at point-blank range in the abdomen and refused to call an ambulance for 5 hours; he watched her rive in pain until she died. Maybe I had a nightmare that night, or perhaps Aunt Peggy did visit me and told me to tell my Mom to be quiet and watch her work. I don't know how, but he quit claiming self-defense in the middle of his trial. It looked like he was talking to someone, and he yelled out I killed you, and I will do it again. The judge gave him life plus thirty years.

My father told me that ghosts live amongst the living until they move on. They need to know that the family will be okay. They have trouble accepting their death, too. We can sense a presence around us when they want us to know they're nearby. We should never be afraid of a ghost. Ghosts can't hurt us, but ghosts can make us hurt ourselves after that courtroom confession.

My Mom had a different kind of respect for ghosts. She would talk to several spirits during her prayers. She also visited Psychics. The first time I saw her going through the rituals a Psychic told her to do, I wondered who the binding spell was for. I didn't know what to do or think. Dad used to drink. I know that she wanted him to quit. I didn't stick around to see what happened. I was afraid I was in that spell somewhere, so I hoped distance would be enough to avoid the outcome.  

Whether or not it happened in this order, I am thankful for the second chance to do what God would have me do.