ROAD TO FREEDOM

As I peer out the car's windshield, my heart is plagued with the sadness of yesterday. I have no idea where I'm going, the only thing I do know is I couldn't stay in a repulsive marriage any longer. I needed to escape. I knew there was more to life than misery.

We shared fifteen years in a loveless marriage, before I became strong enough to leave. First I had to brust the fairytale bubble I was living in, before I I couldn't see the whole picture. My husband, Diego, had been cheating on me for years but I couldn't accept it. Always my thoughts would drift to our wedding vows and I would convince myself it was all in my head.

Diego's jealousy corrupted our relationship. Constantly blaming me of infidelity, when it was him that had multiple mistresses. He had no loyalty, the vows meant nothing to him. In my own ignorance I was blind and could only see what I wanted to see. I believed we had a beautiful marriage, never could I imagine leaving Diego.

Two hours into my drive to Northern California, I got the call that changed my weekend and my whole life to come. I was sad our sister's weekend was canceled, but that sadness pales in comparison to the pain that would shattered my soul. Had my sister, Elsa, not gotten the flu who knows how much longer all the deceit that consumed my home would have continued.

Some sights you can never unsee, Diego and his mistress having sex on our kitchen table was definitely one of them. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I literally cried out, as it felt like my heart was being torn from my chest.

My vocalization caused them to stop abruptly. I couldn't breathe. This can't be real. No way was I seeing this, I must be dreaming. Well unfortunately this nightmare was not a dream.

Kelly, Diego's mistress, quickly slipped into her little black dress. I wanted to unleash my fury and beat her until she looked like the loser in a boxing match, but I knew that waking up behind bars would be the only thing worse than this. So out the door she fled as Diego and I began ripping each other's throats out.

He actually had the audacity to deny he was having an affair...as if I were blind and hadn't just had a image of them burned into my mind forever! That was my boiling point, just looking at him was making me ill. At that moment I realized I would never want to wake up next to Diego again.

Words were pouring out of his mouth, but I could hear nothing. I completely shut down. For me there was nothing more to say and there were no words Diego could say to repair the damage he had done. So silently, moving like a zombie, I walked out of the kitchen, with Diego trailing behind yelling and creating a scene.

He couldn't understand why I didn't even want to hear him out, and why I didn't want to fight for our marriage. I was in shock, all I wanted was to pack a couple suitcases, grab my birth certificate and social security card. I longed to just get out of this house and away from that man before I did something I would regret.

The rage inside of me was rapidly growing, the only thing I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears, the acidic taste of bile filled my mouth...I had to get out of here. I have no clue where I was going, but I knew I could not stay here.

As I crammed my belongings into my second suitcase, Diego could no longer take my silence. So aggressively he pinned me up against the bedroom wall. Somehow I managed to wiggle free from that prediction. This only infuriated him. Before I knew it, I had been picked up and slammed onto our bed.

All I could feel was Diego's weight holding me down, while he let me know I was going nowhere. Diego was going on about how he signed the marriage certificate and that made me his property. I finally broke my silence to scream at him, that he had violated our marriage making our martial contract nal and void.

The brutality was rising, he went from holding me down to shaking me violently. I truly feared for my life when he gripped my throat and began choking me. His words were terrifying..."If I can't have you, then no one can!"

In my final attempt for survival, I reached for the lamp on my nightstand and hit Diego hard enough to stun him. Immediately I scrambled out from underneath him and ran to grab the bat we leave by the door for protection. Never had it felt so good to be holding a bat.

Nothing seemed to detour Diego, he was like a savage dog. When it came down to either my life or my belongings, the choice was easy. How I had gotten to my car was still a mystery to me. I hit Diego with the bat, knocked him out and ran like hell. I never wanted to hurt Diego, but he gave me no choice.

I started up my Tesla and raced out of the driveway. I never looked back, not even a quick peek in the rear view mirror. Every mile that put distance between Diego and I was a huge relief.

Tears were streaming down my face as I watched my first sunrise after my escape. I had drove through the night leaving Southern California behind. Since high school, I had wanted to drive cross country to the east coast and see the beauty each state had to offer along the way.

Looking around, taking in the scenery, feeling the warmth of a new tomorrow, I embraced Texas. I was aware it would take a couple days to drive through Texas. I had decided to buy some toiletries and a new dress.

Sitting at a diner, eating eggs and enjoying coffee, I realized today was the first day of my new found freedom. I was filled with so many emotions. Sadness, for the loss of the love of my life. Curiosity, for the unknown my road trip would have to offer. Anxiousness, for what the future had in store for me. Let the road trip begin.