My dear bullies!

Which sane human insists that he be buried in a coffin of his skin color?

I cannot dissociate myself from my ethnicity to get away from a few obnoxious bullies.

Anna had considered me a bully in school. Yes, I was one. Then. 

But now. I catch myself thinking more about her than my man as I walk down the aisle. Anna, my bridesmaid.

Tall, dark, and curly hair. I didn't know if she was wise or weird. She spoke short and crisp. I have this seemingly strange urge to use unusual words to describe her. Condensed talking? 

Anna and I went to the same school.

I was pretty popular in the school, so it wasn't surprising that I was one of the ten shortlisted girls for a local beauty pageant at our community. It was more of a mock-up for the main event that was to be announced soon. Anna was the only dark-skinned contestant.

Anna's presence never mattered to me. But when I got to know that Anna and I would share the stage, I began to consider her a less-than-me. 

I decided the next morning that I would grab any opportunity that came my way, to belittle Anna. On the blackboard, I stuck a picture of hers and captioned it - blackboard smiling. 

Anna noticed that as she walked into the class, but hid her emotions. I let it be obvious that I had done it. 

That evening, as we walked out of the school gate, she called out to me, "Elsa!"

I knew this was coming.

"Yes?"

"I know it was you who did that today. In the class. It was an honor that you took the time to go through my social media, grab a pic, print it, and plan this. I am flattered. But anyway I stopped you to tell you that you are on the notice board. Maybe you should check it out?"

And she walked away before I could react.

I quickly hurried to see what was up there. I found people staring and smiling at a picture of mine stuck to the noticeboard captioned - baseball stuck in the board.

I felt deeply humiliated but couldn't think of avenging her yet. It had bruised my ego way too much. I mustered the courage to shove away my embarrassment and walk back home. 

A few feet away, I saw Anna waiting.

"You didn't see that coming, did you? At least not so quickly maybe?"

I wanted to smash her and knock her right away. But I just kept quiet. 

I broke down.

"Look, Elsa, I didn't mean to do this. But I made sure to give you back because I know if I kept quiet, your tantrums would never end."

I tried to help myself. But I couldn't say a word.

She asked me, " So what's your favorite color?" She budged me trying to break the silence.

Was she giving me flowers to apologize? "Orange."

"Fine. Now if I ask you to stop liking Orange and start liking Blue, can you do that?"

Okay, no flowers. Some metaphor's coming.

"What?" I asked perplexed, trying to make sense of the context of the question.

"Look, you can't start liking Blue more than Orange just because I ask you to, you cant change your preferences just like that isn't it? It's okay if you don't like dark-skinned people, it's okay if you don't feel like dating a black guy, it doesn't break our world. But then you just can't disrespect us. You can get away with it only for so long.

My bestie has a crush on you. But my brother thinks you are a snowman in uniform. So you don't win everyone just by not being black, alright?"

She was deepening the wound to my ego. I looked her in the eye, wanted to yell, and say so much. But, I simply walked away.

The next day, we got ready for our show. Anna had quite a few people who would personally target her. The judge was already known to be tactfully passing subtle racist comments, in a way that would never expose her.

We walked the ramp like we had already won the contest. With lights, gleam, and cheer all around, it was easy for me to leave the previous day behind. Until the questions round began, and Anna stepped forward.

She was asked, "Why do you choose to participate in this? Don't you feel intimidated by being the only dark-skinned lady here? What's your recipe for your confidence?"

Anna began. With the same demeanor she carried the previous day.

"First off, thank you for this broad question. It serves just right for my purpose.

I would like to ask you - What do you think is the difference between you and your corpse?"

I didn't think the question went down well with the judge, but she answered it anyway. 

"Life."

"Right. Life. That's the difference between me and my corpse as well. So when life force was still in the ethers, before it took on a form through our bodies, it didn't have color. While I am grateful for my body, I don't think my color defines me. I am beyond my body. 

Yeah, it's this simple, just that we take it for granted. Which sane human insists that he be buried in a coffin of his skin color? No, nothing about my color makes me feel intimidated. 

To answer why I chose to contest. Last year, my brother Mike dropped out of school because he thought school wasn't worth the bullying he went through for being black. In a way he was right. But how he tackled the issue wasn't right. He dropping out just gave the bullies another scapegoat. 

I am trying to prove just what my brother said. I choose to face the chaos and sort it out. I cannot dissociate myself from my ethnicity to get away from a few obnoxious bullies.

I am here to announce to people that I am here to stay. 

To all the bullies out there, I am here to stay."

I was so drowned in the depth of her emotion, that her voice stayed fresh with me for more than ten years today as incidentally, I walk down the aisle with Mike.