Return to Sender

January 13, 2015

Dear Jackson, 

I just talked to my mom and dad. It was a serious talk with very serious news. I know that I’m old enough to handle this, but that doesn’t mean I want to. I will miss living here forever. What am I going to do without you?

Love,

Annabelle

January 29, 2015

Dear Jackson,

Dad's the happiest I've ever seen him. Always smiling now. He says that this promotion is the best thing to ever happen to him. I wonder if he’s forgotten about having us in his life. Mom won't say anything to him. I don't think she wants to leave either. I know she doesn't want to leave. I just don't understand.

Love, 

Annabelle

January 31, 2015

Dear Jackson,

I'm sorry. You were at practice. We left. We just left. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I’m officially the worst best friend in the history of best friends. I’m so sorry. 

Love,

Annabelle

February 13, 2015

Dear Jackson,

I made my packing list on the way home from school today. I always need one because I always forget something. I used an orange pen just for you. I know nothing about football, but I will always root for the Tennessee Vols in your honor. I can’t believe I’m really getting to come back home to celebrate my Gram’s birthday! I’m so excited to see you!

 Love, 

Annabelle

February 16, 2015

Dear Jackson,

 I'm so sad. Devastated, really. Dad had to work, and he insisted mom stay, and I couldn't come to see everyone. I don’t know why he did that. He’s never home anyway. I wanted to be there. I want to be home. I want to see you. Nothing feels right anymore, and I don’t know if it ever will. Everything seems to have faded. I’m surrounded by gray skyscrapers, and I haven’t seen a real sunset in over two weeks. Weeks! I tried to come alone. I wanted to hitchhike, but I couldn't reach my suitcase. They had it on a high shelf, and I'm just kind of small. Now it’s all over. I really miss you.

Love,

Annabelle

April 12, 2016

Dear Jackson,

It's been a while. I'm sorry we didn't make it this summer or last summer, or at Christmas. You've probably stopped expecting us. Instagram suggested I follow you today, and my heart skipped a beat. It was really you. Same brown hair, same blue eyes. I don’t remember the last time I saw you smile. I realize everything is different these days. I don't recognize my town anymore. It probably isn't really "mine" anymore. It was home. Now it's so distant. 

Love,

Annabelle

P. S. Are you getting my letters? Why don’t you write back?

August 20, 2016

Dear Jackson,

I made the cheer team. Did you hear? I wish I was cheering you on instead of the team here. Maybe someday. I called your house to ask about you. Do you ever ask about me? Do you even miss me? 

Love,

Annabelle

September 20, 2016

Dear Jackson,

I heard you broke your arm. Your mom called me with the news once you got to the hospital. None of us really ever liked you playing football, but it’s football, and that’s just what seems to happen in the south. It’s what Friday nights are for. I hope the break heals soon. I know you’d be crushed if you missed the season. Your mom really would be happy, though. I bet those green grass stains are horrendous. We’ll send you a card soon, I’m sure.

Love, 

Annabelle

November 4, 2016

Dear Jackson,

Dad's started sleeping in his office sometimes. He's always working late. Mom says it's nothing to worry about, and I told her I believed her. I always tell her he'll be back. She gives me confused looks. She says that he's not gone. I wish I trusted her. I wish you were here to talk it through with me. I don't understand why he works so much. He's always hiring and firing and looking for the next best employees. They’re always young and female. And so, so pretty. Mom started going to the gym with some of her new friends from work. She never seems to believe me when I tell her how beautiful she is. I wish you and your family were here. She'd listen to you guys. My Gram, however, would have thrown him into a deep fryer by now. That would sure be funny. 

Love, 

Annabelle 

November 4, 2016

Dear Jackson,

I need you.

Love,

Annabelle

December 31, 2016

Dear Jackson,

Are you kidding me? “Return to sender?” All of them? Every letter? Completely unopened? Is this all I am to you now?

Unkind regards,

Annabelle

September 29, 2017

Dear Jackson,

Hi. It's me. Happy birthday. You're sixteen now, and I'm sure you got the truck you've been dreaming about since we were six. A black Ford pickup. My birthday's exactly one month after yours. I don't know if you remember, though. I know you don’t read my letters. I know you don’t care anymore. I don’t know why I’m still writing.

Best, 

Annabelle

April 1, 2018

Dear Jackson,

I swore I’d never write again after what happened. Then your birthday came around. I guess after all the years between us I can’t keep from coming to you with all of my woes. Maybe the fact that I’ve dumped them on you all of these years is why you sent my letters back. Dad filed for divorce today. I guess we were waiting on it for a while, but I still never thought the day would actually come. He’s been running around with those pretty little secretaries for so long, I hate to say I was shocked. Mom’s been crying so much, I don’t know if she’ll ever stop. I haven’t cried. Not about this. I think I’ve forgotten how, to be honest. I never told you I didn’t make any friends here. I needed you so many times. I think it may be time to let you go. 

Goodbye, 

Annabelle

May 23, 2018

Dear Jackson,

Forget what I said at the end of my last letter, I guess. Mom just told me that we’re coming back. My heart stopped. I know this will be the worst summer we've both ever had. You won’t speak to me, and I don't know you anymore. Why is this happening? I'm far too accustomed to city life to be thrown into a southern summer. I'm not ready for any of this. Oh, Jackson, why did they ever make me leave you?

Until we meet again, 

Annabelle

June 1, 2018

Dear Jackson, 

I’m here. It’s a new town. It’s a new you, and we don’t fit anymore. 

Sincerely, 

Annabelle