Say It Again, Dan

“I don’t have a ‘World’, Rob,” said Dan.

Rob answered, “Really? But you have a brother, Dan.”

“He’s not my world. He’s just IN my world, but not OF my world.”

Rob was momentarily confused and said, “Uh, okay, if you say so.”

“I do. You just spent ten minutes telling me about your world, Robert, and I didn’t feel a thing. It’s your world, not mine. You chose your world, Rob. You chose to get married, have a child (who lives in another state and hardly sees you, by the way) and live with two cats and two dogs. You belong to a club you don’t like whose members do things you disapprove of, and a church you claim is not caring enough for its community but won’t listen to your ideas, and you consistently say that you bowl on a team of losers.

Even though you don’t change any of what I’ve mentioned, now and then you complain that your “world” is falling apart. Rob, if you don’t like that feeling then be like me. Don’t have a world. Mine never falls apart because I don’t have one, and I’m happy with that.”

Rob stared at his neighbor Daniel. He was thinking about what to say to him when Dan suddenly blurted, “Well, I’m leaving now to do my usual Tuesday routine at the shopping center. See ya later.”

Robert stood there looking at Dan’s car as it rounded the corner on its way to the large Walmart parking lot across town. Dan was so predictable that Rob could picture the stall he would park in at the end of the aisle in front of the entrance. Walmart was a favorite store of almost everyone in their small town and it would be busy on a Tuesday morning.

Well, I think I’ll get some coffee and think about what I’m going to say to Dan when he returns. Although I’m not going to think about it too hard. I know him well enough to know he won’t respond well to whatever I say.

Little did Robert know that this would be the day he wouldn’t be able to think of anything to say to the man he had known for over ten years. Daniel was a man who had traveled a lot in his career, retired at 50, and stayed at home most of the time. None of the neighbors knew much about him except that he had worked for the government in some capacity and was now living alone. He was friendly enough to the neighbors but didn’t reveal much about himself to anyone. He kept himself to himself.

While Rob was having hot coffee at his breakfast nook, Dan was parking his car in his usual area. He was annoyed that his favorite spot was taken, but he found one two spaces nearby and parked there. As he got out of his car, two men on the other side of the aisle started arguing about one of them taking the spot the other had been waiting for.

“You saw me waiting and you just pulled right in! Where were you raised? On a ranch where you parked your dirty old truck anywhere in the field?”

“Watch what you say, man, my wife and kid are in the car. Back off. You lost the space and that’s that. Now go do your shopping like a good boy.”

“What? Nobody refers to me as Boy, got that?”

“Oh, yeah? What are you going to do about it?”

The first man struck out and missed Boy. Then Boy instinctively made a roundhouse punch and knocked the first man off his feet. Dan stood still while watching, then noticed a young woman and her baby in the car. Both were crying. The baby was loud, arching his back and reaching for his mama. Dan seethed. I have to remain calm.

The two men started fist fighting right behind their two cars and Dan walked over to do what he could to calm them down. It didn’t work. The larger man, who was not named Boy, struck Dan on his cheek and he went down. Dan was 60 years old and not as strong and fit as either one of them. They picked him up, apologized, and then a car that had just backed out its space rolled slowly toward all three of them. The driver had not seen or heard the fight. She slammed on her brakes but knocked Dan down.

Boy’s wife called 911 and guards came running out of Walmart. An ambulance showed up while a crowd stood around the car. The driver was wailing that she hadn’t seen anyone in front of her, and five witnesses came forward with five different stories to tell the police. Dan was sent to the hospital even though he continually shouted, “I’m not hurt, dammit! Don’t take me away. I have shopping to do. This is Tuesday!”

It just so happened that Jerry, a neighbor of Dan’s, was getting into his car nearby and saw the whole thing. That was providential for Daniel because his car was going to be towed by the police. But by the time he found this out, he was in the ambulance on his way to the hospital and couldn’t find his cell phone, so he decided to let the police handle the situation. Then he passed out.

He woke up in a hospital bed with a lovely young lady standing next to his bed. She was his nurse. She explained, “You were hit in your face in a fight and fell at Walmart. Then, then after you were picked up, a car ran into you knocking you down again. Your injuries are minor, and you’ll be going home tomorrow. The doctor will be in to see you shortly.”

Julie wasn’t supposed to do it, but she called her husband Jerry to tell him that Rob was in the hospital and going home tomorrow. “Can you believe it? He was in a fist fight in the parking lot at Walmart!”

Jerry knew Rob from bowling and called him to let him know that Dan was in the hospital with non-serious injuries but was going to be kept overnight. Rob thanked him and said he knew what to do.

The next day Dan was brought home in a hospital shuttle and dropped off in front of his driveway. The first thing he noticed was that his car was there. He walked up his driveway and suddenly Rob appeared.

“How ya doin’, big fella?” said Rob as he faked a punch toward Dan.

Dan stepped back and grunted.

“What’s my car doing here? Where’s Bandit? How come my flowers are wet?”

“Well, Daniel, while you got into a fight in the parking lot of Walmart, of all things, your flowers were watered, your dog was fed and given water, and your car was towed here. Now how do you suppose all that happened? Who do you think did all that?”

Dan shrugged his shoulders, “Ouch.”

“Who?”

Dan looked at Rob’s face and said, “Neighbors, I guess.”

“Ya think? The neighbors you have here? Like Jack’s wife next door who cares for two dogs and always asks you how Bandit is doing? Or Marlene who you helped take flowers out of her car and then helped plant them? Or maybe Steve down the street who owns a towing company and hotwired your car to get it home?”

Rob stared at Dan and, after two minutes of silence, said, “This is your world, Daniel, whether you like it or not.”

“I don’t have a ‘World’, Rob,” said Dan.