The Great Mystery

The Great Mystery

Squeaky’s dead.

Dead? Why?

Dunno – he was just dead. In his cage. He was lying on his side and he wouldn’t wake up.

Did someone kill him?

No – my Mom said he was old, so he died of that.

My grandma's old but she's not dead.

Well – Squeaky is.

I bet a vampire got in and ate him. That would be so cool. Vampires sneak in at night and bite you to death. They probably like guinea pigs too.

No way! And I don’t believe in vampires. He was whole in the morning. When I found him. He looked like he was sleeping. Only he wasn’t.

I bet you cried. Yeah, bet you did! Crying’s sissy. My Dad said so. He said that.

My Dad said it’s okay to cry if you’re sad. Yeah, I did cry, just a little. Because I was sad. I really liked Squeaky.

Your Dad’s a sissy.

Is not!

Well, it’s sissy to cry even if you hurt yourself. My Dad said so. Or someone hurts you. Like if I punch you in your arm.

Ow!

You can’t cry.

I’m not crying. Stop it.

Can I see him?”

Who? Squeaky?

Yeah. Is he all dried up and his tongue hanging out? That would look funny. Or maybe he has vampire bites that you didn’t see.

No. He was just the same – except dead. And we buried him back here. Under the walnut tree.

In the flowers? Did you have to stamp them down? Didn't your Mom mind? My Mom would be some mad if I ever walked over her flowers.

My Mom helped.

Well, a guinea pig is a stupid thing anyway. They don’t do nothing but sit in a cage. Pretty dumb pet.

You don’t know anything. He was smart. And he used to whistle in the morning when I came down for breakfast. Every morning.

Whistle? He blew a whistle? A guinea pig doesn't know how to blow a whistle.

No stupid, it's a noise they make. It's how guinea pigs talk to you.

Oh yeah? So what did he say?

Well....good morning, I guess. But he didn’t talk after he was dead.

Dead things can’t talk. Anyone knows that. If they did they wouldn’t be dead, would they?

Guess not.

What happens to you anyway when you die?

My Mom said that you go up to heaven where it's nice all the time.

Did you put him in a box? That’s what they do to dead people.

Nah – we put him in a paper bag. It was a liquor store bag. My Dad said it was all he had and my Mom said God wouldn’t mind.

God? What's God got to do with it?

Dummy! He runs heaven. And he has to like you to let you in.

Hope he likes guinea pigs.

Me too.

I wonder if it takes a long time to get into heaven. If God likes you?

Dunno. Maybe three days? My Sunday school teacher said something like that...I think. Anyway, someone got in to heaven in three days. She said so.

Must have been someone important to get there that fast.

Yeah, I guess.

I don’t go the Sunday school. My Dad says it’s a waste of time. He never goes to Church.

Then how does he know it’s a waste of time?

He just does.

Your Dad’s weird.

Yeah, maybe. So when did you bury him?

Squeaky? On Saturday. We put him in the freezer until my Dad could dig the hole.

He was frozen? In your freezer?

Yeah. So he wouldn’t smell.

I guess when you’re dead you’d start to smell. But how can he go up to heaven when you buried him in the earth. How will he get there?

Um, it’s sort of a mystery. That’s what my Dad said anyway. He said it’s hard for him to explain and to talk to my Mom about it.

So, does your Mom know?

Yeah, of course. She knows everything. She told me. She said God comes at night when it's really quiet and peaceful and gets him.

How does your Mom know that? Has she ever seen God come at night? That would be funny to see God digging up old Squeaky and climbing up to heaven with him. Heaven’s in the sky. I know that. What happens then?

I guess he gets alive again when he gets there.

Is there some place for pets there? Maybe they just run around and play with everyone.

Maybe. I hope a dog doesn’t get Squeaky.

Yeah, and eat him up. Then he’d be dead again.

That wouldn’t be fair.

Well, about God. What does God look like anyway?

How would I know? I’ve never seen him. I’m not dead.

I know how we can tell if Squeaky went to heaven.

Yeah? How?

Well, you buried him under this tree? On Saturday? It’s Tuesday now. Three days. So let’s dig and see if he’s still here. If he’s not there, then God got him.

Um … I guess we could … but what’ll we do if he’s still there?

So God hasn’t found him yet.

Yeah... I guess so. I think it’s this tree. The apple tree. ‘Cause Squeaky liked apples.

Okay, let’s dig. You dig. There’s lots of apples on the ground, so if he’s still here he’ll have lots to eat.

They’re rotten. But he won’t care. He’s dead. Remember?

Oh yeah. Dead people don’t have to eat.

He’s a guinea pig. Not a people.

How deep was the hole you put him in? Can you see him yet?

No.

Keep digging.

I am.

He’s not there?

Nope, he’s not. Do you think … it really happened?

I dunno. But the next time you bury someone out here, stay awake all night and see if you can see old God digging. That would be so cool.

I don’t think anyone gets to see God. Unless they’re dead.

Then you’d have to trick him.

Trick him? I don’t know how to do that.

Well, you stay really still, like you’re dead – and wear sunglasses so he can’t see you looking.

That’s a weird idea. How would I be able to see God at night with dark glasses on?

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