To Forgive Or Not To Forgive

I don’t know how I ended up with him. I mean, there were 1.4 million people in the United States Army, and the squadron I was in just happened to have him in it. And now, I stood waiting for him at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport, which was literally our home airport, out of all the airports in the United States. The chances were so slim, yet it happened. I looked around the passenger gate and remembered standing right in this very terminal 5 years ago. 5 years ago in 1952. 5 years ago in Korea. 5 years ago when my life changed forever…

“Are you sure you're not under 18?” The woman in front of me said.

“No! I’m not!” I answered irritated.

“Can I see some ID, please?”

I gritted my teeth and pulled out my driver's license. She took a careful look at the age bar, which clearly said I was 19.

“Satisfied?” I said.

“Can I see your passport too?”

I would’ve yelled at her, but in most cases it’s a good idea not to anger the woman who could get me arrested. Frustrated, I handed her my passport.

“Okay. Go on now.” she said, and I stormed into the bus. I walked down the aisle of the empty bus. I was early, and barely anyone was at the Dallas military bus stop. I had gone as early as possible, and right now it was 5 AM. The arrival window went till 7 so I had 2 hours to do nothing. There was no point staying in the dark bus, so I got out and sat on a bench. On the horizon I could see the sun rising behind the Dallas skyline. In all honesty, the only reason I joined the US military was for money. My parents lived in the poorer side of the city, so we didn’t have much money. It was between joining the military or being a waiter at Waffle House. I also wanted adventure, and the only adventure in Waffle House was the adventure of getting tips. So I went with the army. Anyway, I watched the bright orange sun as people started streaming in. I sat in the bus, so I'd get the best seat. There were a bunch of other people, almost all older than me. I had signed up at the youngest possible age. I looked at everyone, prayed that the huge sweaty guy who didn’t use deodorant wouldn’t sit next to me, and waited. No one sat next to me. I don’t think many people knew each other so like me, we were all on square one.

After 2 hours, I heard the creak of the gate to the bus terminal close, and the buses in front of us started pulling away one by one. But then out of the corner of my eye, I saw a kid run towards the bus, trying to get there till the bus pulled away. Before the bus door closed, he slipped through them, and walked down the aisle panting. The bus wasn’t that full, and there were many open seats remaining, like the one next to me. He quickly sat down into the nearest seat, which was mine. I felt like I recognized him. He was wearing red cargo shorts and a dark green sweater. He had flip-flops for shoes, and messy black hair. His eyes were blue, unlike mine which were brown. I had blonde hair, pale white skin, and a brown t-shirt with red pants which we got from Goodwill. That’s when I remembered who he was. In 9th grade, my life was pleasant. I had a few close friends who I would trust with my life, and I was scoring good. Of course, the school wasn’t that great. We couldn’t afford a very great education, so I had to work twice as hard as the rich kids. My parents both worked at Burger King, which meant we could only live in a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment with a compact kitchen and sitting area. Anyway, nothing bad had happened. Until Dan came. He was from Chicago, but he was wearing rich clothes. What was he doing here? We found out his parents had owned a prime quality Italian restaurant in Chicago, but it went out of business. So they had moved to Dallas, but couldn’t afford to live in the well-off neighborhoods. We all felt bad for him. What’s worse? Being born into a poor family or being rich only to have it taken away from you. It was like being given a nibble of chocolate only to be told that’s all the chocolate you could ever have in your life. But that didn’t mean he was all perfect and sweet. But then we found out he was dirty! He picked his nose, then ate the boogers, saliva dripped from the corner of his mouth, and he had long nails that were covered in dirt! Whenever anyone talked about him, it would be about how unpleasant and shabby he was. Everybody, including me, stayed far away from him. But then he started following me everywhere. I tried to shake him off, but he was stuck to me like a magnet. And I didn’t have the heart to talk to him directly. All of my other friends would leave when he was around, which he was. A lot. For 3 years, I was forced to put up with him till the end of high school. Finally, I was away from him. And now, here he was, in the same bus and squadron as me! The buses were all sorted by groups in Fort Benning in Georgia, where we would be training. That meant for 9 weeks, we would have to be together! You made it through 3 years with him. You can handle 9 weeks. I told myself. So as the bus pulled away, I didn’t tell him who I was. I thought maybe after the few weeks between high school graduation and now he would’ve changed, but he hadn’t. He was still dirty. Everyone was stealing quick glances at him and looking away. He never noticed, but kept talking to me. Thankfully he never asked my name, but kept talking about the latest style and technology. He was also addicted to geography and kept talking about World War 2 and nukes and the Soviet Union. I watched the road outside and looked behind me as the Dallas skyline disappeared under the horizon. It was a 2 day drive with stops in cities, so I was in for a long ride…

When the bus squealed to a stop in Shreveport Louisiana, I nearly crashed through the window. My legs were aching, and Dan was babbling non stop. I ran out of the bus into the Shreveport military center. I possessed 3 hours to do whatever I wanted, but Dan was right behind me. I groaned as he caught up. Now I’d have to spend another 3 hours with him. “So, where d'you wanna go now?” he asked, jumping up and down like a child.  I wanted to take a calm walk by the Red River, but I didn’t think it would be very peaceful with him. “How about some fries at Mcdonalds?” I suggested. He agreed, so we walked to the nearest one, with him blabbering about Communism and Germany and a million other things. When we arrived, I got 2 small fries, one for him and one for me.

“How about we eat at the river?” he asked. “That would be nice.”

I gritted my teeth and said okay, cause it would be me paying for the taxi. He apparently had “forgotten his money at home”. By the time we arrived at the red river, our fries were already cold. I ate quietly, while he was saying something about how Dallas is the best city in Texas, or something along those lines. My ears perked up when he started talking about his past life.

“I remember in Dallas I had this friend named Will.” He said. “He really liked me.”

Did he really think we were best friends or something?

“Oh, cool.” I responded.

Then a look of realization dawned on his face. “Wait just a second…” he said, putting two and two together. “You’re Will!”

I sighed under my breath. Great.

“Oh! Are you Dan?” I said, playing along with him.

“Yep! This is so cool-”

Suddenly, my left jean pocket started vibrating. I pulled out the literal alarm clock that I used.

“Oh, shoot!” I said. The bus was leaving in 30 minutes! We ran to the street, forgetting our fries on the ground. I frantically pulled over a taxi, paid with my money again, and we arrived just as the gate closed. I jumped into the bus just as the door closed behind me. I almost felt like pushing Dan off the bus but the door was closing, anyway. This time, there weren’t 2 seats on the same row. Yes! I thought, but I put a sad expression on my face. “Looks like we can’t sit together.” I said. “Okay bye-”

“Hey look!” Dan said behind me. “I found 2 rows with 2 seats facing each other.

I grumbled. I stomped to the seat, with Dan to the left of me across the aisle. He kept talking. When does he ever get tired? We stopped in Jackson to sleep, and the next day, I tried to make him not notice me but he did. Dan came right back to the seat next to me, and while we drove to Fort Benning, I was seriously considering launching him out of the window. Finally, we arrived at the fort. It was grey, freshly painted, and surrounded by barbed wire fences. The bus went through a gate, and I looked out the window as men in uniforms ran around the massive grounds of the fort. When we stepped off the bus, a guy in a military uniform with a million badges stepped forward.

“Hello! Today, you will begin your 9 weeks of training for the United States military! I am the commander of Fort Benning, and you’ll follow whatever your training instructor says! Understand!”

We all looked at each other.

“Understand!” he yelled, and we all responded “Yes, Sir!”

He told us where to find our instructor, and he walked off. With Dan right behind me, I went to our groups room. In the room there was a countertop on one side and a bunch of beds. That was literally all there was in the room. It had grey walls with a cold hard floor, and the AC didn’t work. We were sweating in minutes. Then the instructor came in. He was completely the opposite of what the military stereotype was. He was smiling, his uniform was not crease-free, his voice sounded like silk, and he didn’t yell.

“Today, you can have rest, before your training. You can also explore the grounds.” He said to the vast group.

So I spent the rest of the day walking around the Fort with Dan right behind me. He was seriously a nuisance! In the night, we got assigned beds, so he thankfully wasn’t next to me. But for the next 9 weeks, that was the only alone time I had. The training wasn’t that hard, cause I was pretty fit anyway. Dan had a super hard time, and I felt a little bad for him. Before I knew it, 9 weeks of rigorous training had passed. At the graduation, Mom and Dad drove all the way from Dallas to see me.

“Is that your friend?” Mom asked pointing to Dan, who was eating ice cream like it was the only food he would ever have.

“Yeah. Sure.” I said.

I went to my seat, and the Fort Benning commander called everyone one-by-one, put a badge on their uniform, and announced where they would go. I prayed that I wouldn’t be in the same squadron as Dan.

“Daniel Schowboski.” he called. I nearly laughed. I didn’t even know he had such a long last name.

He gave the badge to him and then announced the squadron.

“West Germany. Squadron 27392.” He jumped up and down with excitement. I knew he wanted to be assigned to West Germany.

After a few more names, he called me.

“William Cooper.” I walked up to the stage as everyone clapped. He placed the dark blue badge on my uniform and then announced where I was stationed.

“Italy. Squadron 39473.” Yes!

I walked off the stage and pretended to be devastated we weren’t in the same country. We would leave tomorrow. Little did I know, fate had a different plan for me.

The next day, I woke up to our instructor shaking me awake. Apparently, an emergency assembly had been called. As we walked down the halls, my eyes caught on one of the TV’s. I watched it.

“North Korea, backed by the Soviets, has declared war on democratic South Korea. The UN will take action.” I couldn’t believe what had happened. What if the Soviets nuked us! That was the reason for the assembly.

“All I want to say is that the following groups will immediately be transferred to South Korea. The groups will be squadrons.” Oh no. If they picked our group, I would not only fight in an actual war, but be in the same squadron as Dan. I prayed for him not to announce Group E26…

“... Group E26…” He said, and the surrounding kids all had different reactions. Some whooped, and some groaned. I was in the groaning group. I now had to spend an entire war with him! I had no time to think though. Our bus would leave in 30 minutes. I ran to the bus and ignored Dan blabbering about “how excited he was to be in a real war”. When the bus arrived at Atlanta Hartsfield Jackson, we ran to the terminal where a military plane was. We all ran inside, and before I knew it, the plane took off. Dan had a different seat, but I still was thinking about him. So much, I forgot about my dream to fly in a real plane! The ride took forever. It landed several times in Africa, the Middle East, India, French Indochina, and finally we were cruising over the Pacific Ocean, just South of where South Korea was holding out. Finally, the plane emerged from the ground, and I peered from the window. I could see flashes and hear booms as the plane descended onto a grey airstrip. Many, many planes were next to the airstrip, all filled to the brim with American and NATO soldiers. Everyone was rushing forward to fight. We all ran into a square building, with people running everywhere. We followed the signs to the exit which purposefully went through the armory. Basically, we had to get a machine gun, 3 grenades, and run. The armory was labeled as divisions but as they had deployed ours last minute, we just had to know how a machine gun and grenade looked like. Problem was, a rifle and machine gun look practically the same except a machine gun had a darker shade of brown pouch next to it. Remember your training. I thought. At least Dan wasn’t blabbering anymore. I scanned the room for a dark brown pouch and found it. Close to it were 3 grenades, each heavy and the size of an egg. I put it in the pouch meant specifically for grenades and put one in my pocket. The machine gun felt cold and smooth as I fed the bullet strip into the hole and ran out the exit into the open night with Dan right behind me. They had cleared this area with Agent Orange, and the potent scent of it was in the air. In front of us was the thick forest of the Korean peninsula. We both looked around, till we found an enormous group of people running out of the exit. We ran off to join them, and we all ran into the night. I slashed through the dense leaves, and knives, and we listened for gunshots. But it was all dense and quiet. Until…

“Fire!” we heard a voice yell in Korean over the silence. Bullets flew everywhere, hitting people. I looked up to see an enormous group of people with the North Korean and Soviet flags on their uniforms. They outnumbered us 1-10.

“Retreat!” Somebody yelled, and we all ran through the forest, firing behind us. Dan was right behind me, firing at the soldiers behind me and him. Then I remembered the grenade in my pocket. I chucked it behind me, which was a mistake. It hit an enemy soldier right behind us, but Dan was right next to him. The grenade exploded, launching Dan into the air. The forest was on fire, and Dan was lying on the ground. The world became slow motion. Bullets whizzing, flames rising into the sky, and gunshots echoing through the air. I had to decide. Saving Dan, or running away.

I looked at him and then ran off into the night.

A week later, I was in a makeshift hospital. I watched Dan on the bed, tubes sticking out of his arm.

“Soldier.” I turned around to find a nurse looking at me. “We have assigned you to leave Korea and go back to the United States.” A day later, I was in the US, but Dan was fighting for his life in Asia, just because of me. When I got the news Dan had recovered and was landing in DFW today, I rushed to the airport. So I stood there at the airport, because it was him who would decide. The question was to forgive, or not to forgive.