I kept my resolutions because of her

They say you’re more likely to do something if you write it down. 

Maybe I just should’ve written things down earlier. Every year I make resolutions as December draws to a close. Every year, I inevitably give up on them. 

I know what you’re thinking, but it wasn’t my fault every time. There was that resolution I made about seeing more people in 2020 and…well, we know how that year turned out. 

I ended up seeing some people over the last couple of years, but it just never turned into anything serious. They’d always turn out to be weird, or boring, or have some trait that made them unappealing.

But just as I thought I would have to endure yet another lonely year, something happened.

I first saw Taylor in a coffee shop just down the road - the Plumb Street Cafe. My usual place was closed and I needed to go somewhere nearby if I wanted any chance at seeing people. I’m glad I chose this place.

She floated into the shop out of the cold winter night. Her beanie only partially obscured the wavy shoulder-length brown hair that flowed out from under it. Her face looked friendly, with a smile that welcomed you like an old friend. Despite her elegant movements, everything about her said she was down to earth. The first time I saw her, she wore comfortable jeans and a simple sweater. Every time since has been more of the same.

Taylor works at the Plumb Street Cafe as a barista. Every order has just the right mix of ingredients, just the right amount of whipped cream, just the right number of sprinkles on top to not be too sparse or too heavy. And of course, always served with that signature smile.

I forgot what it was like to have motivation. Something to strive for, something that drives you to be better. But I remembered after seeing Taylor. 

And so, I wrote down my resolutions for the year. As we enter 2024, I’m taking a moment to look back and see how well I did at keeping them.

Here goes nothing!

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Resolution 1: Join a gym.

Yeah, I know. Hear me out. I’ve let myself go a little bit over the last few years. I’m not quite as nimble and fit as I was in my prime. I need to be as ready physically as I am mentally. Joining a gym was, in my mind, more likely to give me that kick in the ass I needed to get going and keep at it. I used to go before the pandemic hit, so I figured it shouldn't be hard to restart the habit.

I kept this resolution a hundred percent, and I feel great about it. I lost some weight, significantly improved my cardio, and even took some martial arts classes to better defend myself. Oh, and it happens to be the same gym that Taylor goes to. Getting to see her was definitely a bonus, and I got to do a bunch of that because of how much our workout schedules overlapped.

Resolution 2: Read more.

I haven’t read for pleasure in a long while. I wanted to make more time in my day to slow down, relax, and enjoy a good book. Reading is an underrated escape. There’s nothing quite like suspending disbelief, digging into a great story, and completely immersing yourself in a different reality. Living in that world while at the same time trying to pick up on the little hints and cues that could tell you what’s in store. Sometimes I would be reading a book, only to close it and need some time to recover, to come back to my reality after being so deeply engrossed in another life.

I got a lot of reading done over the last year. The Plumb Street Cafe has a great atmosphere. Quiet, relaxing, warm, almost like a library with food and drinks. I can take a book and go there for hours without being disturbed. I also saw Taylor there fairly often, either during her shifts or when she came in to get a coffee. We didn’t chat too much even though I know she saw me whenever she came in. She always seemed to be in a hurry. Her life is very busy after all.

Resolution 3: Be less selfish.

I’ll admit, I haven’t been as attentive to others as I’d like. It’s been mostly about me and my goals lately, and it’s already starting to harm some of my relationships. At one point, Taylor even told me to keep my distance. Selfishly, I wanted to be closer to her and give her attention, but she wasn’t receptive to it at that moment. She needed space, and I didn’t realize it.

I kept this resolution as well. I started spending much more of my time focusing on others, especially Taylor. I modified my gym schedule slightly and made sure I was at the cafe during her shifts so I could see her more, learn more about her. I watched how she reacted to certain things and people. I know her needs much better now.

Resolution 4: Learn a new skill.

Lots of people have a similar resolution, like learning how to play an instrument or joining some sort of class. Specific goals are more likely to be met, so last year I resolved to learn a very specific skill - cyber surveillance. It’s really helpful to know things like how to gather data, install malicious software on devices, use GPS tracking, and hide your own digital footprint. These things can really come in handy in today’s day and age, with all the weirdos out there trying to find you and see what you do.

I kept this resolution. I did the classes, learned the skills, and even put them to great use!

Honestly, learning about cyber surveillance has been great at getting to know Taylor better. I learned absolutely everything about her including where she goes, what she looks at online, what she spends money on, who she hangs out with…it’s been eye-opening. 

Her rent is far too high for the area she lives in. I think the landlord is taking advantage of a decent person they probably think is naive and uninformed. I found the guy and I’ll be speaking to him about that soon. I also found that some of the people in her friend group seem like they’re part of the wrong crowd. That could be really bad for her. I had to take care of it.

Resolution 5: See new places.

In my life, I’m sometimes confined to one or just a few places. My home, work, maybe a shop here and there. It gets tedious and monotonous after a while. I wanted to broaden my horizons, maybe even travel internationally for once. Unfortunately it’s really hard to do that for someone with my history, but being a local tourist can be just as exciting. 

I decided to explore the city. See some different neighbourhoods, go to some new bars or other hangout spots I haven’t been before, maybe take in some local sights and attractions. What better way to expand your knowledge of the world than to start in your own backyard? That’s exactly what I did.

Well, not my backyard. I know it like the back of my hand after mapping every inch of it. The natural place to start would be somewhere familiar, like Taylor’s backyard. She does a great job keeping her garden healthy and growing. 

She really should invest a bit more into privacy, though. Her curtains are practically see-through, even the ones on her bathroom window, and she can’t see anything or anyone standing just a few metres away. The other day she looked me straight in the eyes and didn’t react. 

Resolution 6: Spend more time with loved ones.

It’s really important to spend time with people you love. I haven’t done much of that since the pandemic, and something always comes up. Life gets busy. They get upset at you about something, or avoid you.

Last year, I resolved to stop making excuses and focus on spending as much quality time as possible with my loved ones, starting with Taylor. And I’m proud to say that I kept this resolution as well. In fact, this is one I’m carrying over.

I’ve already started the new year off by spending more time with Taylor. Even though she can’t admit it, I think she appreciates the effort.

It’s just hard to say it with tape over your mouth.