The Exit Room

THE EXIT ROOM

Daniel Sposta sat quietly in the stacks of Adelphi University’s library. Students rarely went to the stacks, so Daniel more than often found himself alone. On this Saturday morning, he was studying for a Thermodynamics final exam. He was a senior engineering major, scheduled to graduate in May. He rose from the table and stretched his legs, walking to the window and then meandering about the quiet sanctum of the stacks; an area spanning no more than 1500 square feet. Suddenly, he came upon a room with a bold sign etched across the door leading to it. KEEP OUT, AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY. Probably hidden, secret fraternity documents, he surmised, before returning to his seat and resuming his perusal of the dense material at hand. Thermo was a beast and the final hurdle Daniel had to overcome.

           After a couple of hours Daniel returned to his dorm room. He felt confident that he’d do well on Monday’s final exam. He took a nap, only to be awakened by a knock on his door. Who could this be? His roommate was away, spending a leisurely weekend in the Hamptons with his parents. He opened the door and was shocked to see his old high school classmate, Frank Guma. Frank was accompanied by another young man Daniel wasn’t familiar with. Hell, he hadn’t seen Frank since they graduated from Delehanty High School four years ago. In Daniel's mind, Frank seemed older than any of the students at Delehanty, a private, Catholic school nestled off Jamaica Avenue in Queens, NY. Frank actually had his own car and drove to school. He was the school bookie who would collect pool money for sporting events. It would be safe to say that Frank was a man amongst boys.

           “Is this how you greet an old friend? You gonna let us in, paisan, or do you have a female inside?” Frank was grinning from ear to ear. His companion held his head down, almost sheepishly.

           “No, Frank, it’s good to see you. Come on in. You gotta excuse the place. My roommate isn’t the tidiest housekeeper.”  Frank and his friend entered. They exchanged handshakes and took a seat.

           “You’re looking good, Frank. What brings you here to see me? I heard you were at St. John’s. What’s up?”

           “Yeah, let me get to it. This here is my cousin, Jimmy. I see you two don’t know each other. Jimmy is a business major here at Adelphi. He’s got a Statistics final coming up, and if he doesn’t pass, well, he won’t graduate. I’m wondering if you can do the same for him that you did for me?” Memories flooded Daniel’s brain. He knew exactly what Frank wanted. It was four years ago that Daniel went along with Frank’s elaborate cheating scheme. It was a strictly quid pro quo arrangement. Daniel would help Frank get through Pre-Calculus in order for him to graduate, and Frank would ensure that Daniel got elected class president; a leadership role that would embellish any college application.

           “But how, Frank? This isn’t Delehanty High.” Daniel had a befuddled look, but he knew that where there was a will, Frank would make a way. He was a guy who knew how to get things done. His uncle, Don Matteo, was a made member of the Luchese crime family. Daniel didn’t know this until after they graduated. He had a suspicion when Frank was able to secure Ponte’s Steakhouse for the senior prom. Frank didn't want the event to be held at some run of the mill joint off Jamaica Avenue. That, to him, would be slumming. So, Ponte's became the venue for Delehanty High's senior prom. Only someone juiced up could make that happen. Ponte’s was the spot where New York City’s garbage strike was settled. The fat old men with cigars hanging from their mouths settled it, in the back room at Ponte’s.

           “Daniel, it’s a piece of cake, trust me. See, Jimmy’s professor is gonna turn his back long enough for Jimmy to take a picture of the exam with his cell phone. The guy’s been given an offer he can’t refuse, capiche? Anyhow, we got this room set up in the stacks of the library, which is close enough to the building where Jimmy will be taking his exam. That’s where you’ll be, with a walkie talkie linked up to the plug in Jimmy’s ear. He’ll send you the exam pic to your phone and you’ll transmit the answers to him. We’ve done this before. We've got sole access to this room, Daniel. We've used it to help Jimmy pass Macroeconomics and Accounting. Math is your thing, it always was, so we picked you to help Jimmy pass this Stat class. Jimmy ain’t no brainiac, but he’s family, my cousin, and the son of Uncle Don Matteo. We call this little spot the Exit Room, cos’ without it, there ain’t no exiting from this dump. What do you say? It’ll be an easy grand to you for 90 minutes of your time, and your brain.”

"Okay, Frank. Just like old times. I can use the money." 

So, the plan was set in motion. Monday, at 9 am, Daniel took his Thermo exam. He was a bundle of nerves. Suppose he was caught? He’d be expelled and wouldn’t graduate. But he couldn’t just say no to Frank. After his exam he went to the Rathskeller and grabbed a burger. He left to meet Frank at the stack’s Exit Room. It was 1 pm. Jimmy’s class began at 1:30, so this gave them time to get set up. Daniel would be seated at the table, with his cell phone, walkie talkie, and notepad.

           When Daniel arrived at the stacks, he didn’t see Frank, but he could hear voices from inside the Exit Room. He approached and knocked on the door, assuming that Frank and Jimmy were tying up loose ends for the cheating caper. To his surprise, it was an older gentlemen dressed in a silk suit that opened the door.

           “Come on in, kid, and have a seat.” Frank was seated at the table with a dejected look across his face, staring down at the table. The gentleman needed no introduction. He was Don Matteo.

           “I know what yous guys are up to. I peeped the text messages on Jimmy’s phone. He told me all about this freakin’ Exit Room and yous guys cheating scheme. Daniel, I know Frank pulled you into this, and I appreciate you helping my dimwitted nephew graduate from that fancy private school I paid tuition for.” Don Matteo turned his gaze to Frank. “What you think, Frank? You think I want a dummy passing for a legit college graduate? It's due time that he does something on his own, like study for a change, and pass this freakin' class. If he can’t pass on his own, then so be it. I spoiled that kid. He thinks everything should be handed to him. Now, yous get the hell out of here. This so-called Exit Room is closed, and for good.”

           They departed the exit room and went their separate ways. Daniel let out a sigh of relief.