Running in the Mist

The glass was cool against my forehead as my thoughts were drawn to the reasons for my journey. The red seat was nicely cushioned, though my fingers endlessly twirled the single loose string the way my mind came back to my family and friends. The same people I had fought with and the others that I had been tangled up in. It was strange how they seemed to be with me wherever I went. 

I was on a train headed towards Geneva Switzerland, having spent the last two months up in the mist-covered mountains. Ridges and trees blurred together in the mist, the peaks seeming to witness my passing, having remembered me when I had come into their realm bearing an item that I did not own. And now as I left they witnessed that I had left my mother’s heirloom there, hidden in the mountain woods.

My mother’s face was the one I’d always come back to. Her face was behind all the faces of the people I’d argued with. Their memory was fading, but my mother's face was clear despite the fact that I hadn’t seen her since she had been alive last year. No one in the family had been the same since then.

Sighing, I got up from my seat and straightened my Brioni suit. Slicking my hair back, I  opened the cabin door to see an older gentleman passing just outside my door. He was as formal as I was, but his spectacles and clean-clipped van dyke made me pause for a brief moment.

“May I help you sir?” he asked, and I realized he was the train conductor.

“Oh I was wanting to grab a drink, maybe get some air on the observation deck,” I replied. The conductor smiled kindly, and bid me follow. We went to the cafe car and I grabbed a glass of iced water.

“What is your name sir?”

“Hm? Oh I am Faron Vitaldi,”

“Italian?”

“Why yes in fact it is,” I said, pulling open the door to the observation deck. The conductor wrapped himself in the cape before stepping out into the mist, myself following in his wake. We’d just come upon a patch of fog, and the lights had a hard time illuminating our surroundings now.

“I’m Alvarez. I remember seeing you coming on this train. Did you enjoy your vacation here?” 

I smiled lightly, “It wasn’t exactly a vacation,”

“Business trip then? Some chaos in your career, poor chap?”

“No sir, I came for peace. To escape what had been going on down there.” I took a sip from my glass, feeling the wind across my face. Alvarez’s green eyes widened, and he leaned on the railing.

“To escape you say? How so?”

“Away from my father and my friends…and a girl. We are not on the best of terms, and so I fled from the situation. I’m not sure what I’ll do once I’m in Geneva. I’ve considered traveling west to America, but I don’t know if I’d like to head that far.” I explained. It did not feel quite as heavy as when I had admitted those words to myself those weeks ago.

“I don’t remember running from your problems being exactly a good thing,” Alvarez commented, “Sorry, I mean no disrespect-”

“None taken sir,”

“Well, we still have a few hours and that was an impulsive whim. Go on.”

I chuckled. This older man was more interesting than he seemed, “I guess,”

We spent a while on the deck. I told him how the problems didn’t have any distinct beginning point, how my friends had let me down and I’d started to do things myself because of it. When the tension had gotten too much for the family and my adjacent friends, I booked a trip to these mountains for refuge. The conductor sat patiently, only looking at his pocket watch from time to time or wiping the condensation from his spectacles.

“Anyways, the fact is everything there felt sour, and…” I trailed, my thought disappearing as my lips fumbled, “um, it just was difficult. Sorry, I’m not sure where I was going with that.”

“Do not be sorry my friend. Did you not say you enjoyed the time you spent with them?”

“Yes?”

“Then why is it sour now?” 

“Well, I still enjoy the masquerades for what they were. It was afterwards that I felt it. The weight of it all. I just want to get away.”

“Mm, so that’s why you’re here.”

“Only briefly, I’m going to Paris, maybe Britain too. I haven’t decided yet.” 

“For what?”

I smiled, “I could head to America from there. Go to school. But I’m probably not able to afford it.” 

“Have you thought about going to a university here?” he asked. He looked like someone who could be a professor, all scholarly and socially connected.

“Maybe, but where? I dropped out of one already. My father was not happy about that.”

“Really? Where?”

“Italy,” 

Alvarez raised an eyebrow, “and how old are you?”

“Twenty-three sir,”

“Oh, I thought you were younger. Well, there may be a few in Germany. You know German I assume?”

“Yes, but I’m better with French and of course, Italian.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have a problem with them. But if you don’t mind if I ask, why would someone like you run away from someone like her? The girl - Angelica, right?”

“Yes, Angelica wasn’t ready and besides we’ve known each other for so long that the history seemed to start suffocating her. It’s better this way. I’ve left the family, I left the boxing ring and track, and now I left her. I’m a runner, and now I’m running from this.”

 “Mmm, you shouldn’t run faster than what you have strength for.”

“Yes that’s why I am taking this trip,” I was suddenly annoyed at this man, and started wondering what I was doing talking to him. Before Alvarez could reply, I excused myself and walked back down the train cars. My baggage was still where I had left it in my cabin. I shivered. Why would I do that? I was no longer outside. I went to grab my scarf, and as I did so, a sliver of sunshine escaped the clouds. Oh! We must have come out of them now. The light hit the glossed wood wall and danced before my eyes. I blinked then wrapped my scarf around me, buttoning my suit back. I sat down again and let my eyes close to the world as I soaked in the warmth of the evening sun.

~

The sound of a sliding door awakened me. How long had it been? No more than a couple of hours for sure. I looked up to see a train crew member standing before me, tall and rigid.

“I am sorry to awaken you but we have arrived in Geneva,” he said curtly. I nodded and stood up to grab my smaller baggage. The attendant took them from my hands and I followed him to where Alvarez stood making sure everyone got the larger bags. 

“Oh, hello there Faron. You look pale.” he pulled out the large trunk from the baggage car, “there are several places to stop in this rail station,”

“No thank you. I will be needing to head out soon and put all this behind me. Angelica, my family….”

“Faron,” Alvarez said looking me in the eye, “you must at least put it to rest. Even though they are lost to you, there is no need for you to cause yourself to regret it for the rest of your life.”

I blinked three times till his words registered with me. I sighed, remembering my mother.

“I guess so. But why must all the people close to my heart have to leave?”

“You seem to have left as well. Maybe the time we have with them will guide us back one day. There are ones with much wider sight that work in ways we cannot tell. Maybe you’ll see it one day. And maybe then you can look at yourself with serenity for once, not the suffocating stillness in those mountains.” Alvarez turned away, and I was now left alone among a crowd of people. After a moment I turned and headed toward the booth to get my next ticket.

“Good evening, where can I send you to?” the manager, a balding man with mutton chops, asked in French. He looked up from his paperwork and his eyes brightened. “Oh, Mr. Vitaldi! I remember you! Still looks like a ghost I see. Weren’t you wanting to head towards Paris when you last passed?”

“Y-yes…but not anymore,” I said, “I need to head back towards Florence, Italy.”

“Alright sir, heading back it is. Here you are.”

I paid the man and took the ticket, only to hear the train I’d just got off of blow its whistle, signaling its departure. And at that moment, an idea sprung to my mind, one about the ring I had left in those mountains.

“Alvarez!” I yelled rushing forward as the train whistled again, drowning me out. I pushed through the crowds of people, trying to get closer, but a wall of waving families blocked me. The wheels squeaked and the train began to move away. I tried again but gave up as it became apparent that I wouldn’t make it. The last I saw of Alvarez was him standing on the back in an emerald green vest holding onto the railing with one hand and his pocket watch in the other.

After the train departed, the families dispersed and I looked around myself. I had three bags, my ticket, and my clothes. I did not have the money to buy more tickets to go back up. All well, I’d just have to leave. Maybe I’d come back someday for the ring. I walked away, disappointed but not discouraged. The ticket master told me my next train would leave soon. I sat down to rest for a while. Like usual, my thoughts wandered wearily about my conversation with Alvarez. Maybe I could set everything to rest and move on, maybe even start anew? Inside me, a spark of hope glittered at the thought, now undamped by my fog.

After some time, another train pulled up and despite my travel-weary mind, I diligently entered. As the new crew loaded my bags, I got my new cabin and opened one of my suitcases. A sparkle caught my eye. Strange. I reached in and pulled out a small silver ring topped with a flower. My mother’s ring. The one supposed to be in the mountains.

Next to it was a small piece of paper. I unfolded it to find writing that seemed to perfectly match Alvarez’s voice.

Faron, I believe this needs to be settled before you move on. Please do before the news of your thievery over your mother’s ring spreads. Furthermore, I suggest a Hermés suit next time. Respectfully, Alvarez.

He must have known, I thought and slid the piece into my pocket. The new train started to move and I saw that we were leaving Geneva, leaving Switzerland. I was heading back but also heading away. Back to father to return the ring, yet away from them too. I smiled wryly and closed the cabin door. It would be a long ride back to Italy, but maybe I would find the rest I was looking for once I settled these demons.