The Battle of Dunsinane

Grouch: Good morning

Mac: Hey babe. How was ur nite

Grouch: Honestly?

Mac: Yes…

Grouch: I couldnt sleep

Grouch: Again

Grouch: Can we talk about it

Mac: Through a text? That’s a bad idea

Grouch: But i really need to talk about everything

Mac: U know i have a lot on my plate right now, what with cousin Malcolm making his way here

Grouch: I know

Mac: And theres a million things to prepare for, as far as that goes. I mean, i have assurances itll all be fine, but i still have to get everything ready

Grouch: I know, its just

Mac: And im the guy in charge, literally, of everything. U of all ppl should remember that

Grouch: I do, Mac. But IMHO, a guilt trip is the last thing i need right now. It may have been my plan, but u did the deed. And everything that came after

Mac: Dont blame this mess on me! Every problem i have right now i can tie back to some toxic female influence in my life. If it werent for u and those manipulative witches…

Grouch: O, thats so typical, Mac. Dont take ownership of anything

Mac: Now i really don’t have time for this

Grouch: Of course not. When u need me to feed ur ego, ur all ears. But when i have a problem, ur way too busy

Mac: This is a little more than a problem, dear. Its about 10,000 problems

Grouch: And a bitch aint one, right? Let me guess, all 10,000, just like u, is some violent man, center stage

Mac: None of them is like me

Grouch: Of course not. Ur so high and mighty

Mac: Damn straight! Thats what we wanted, what u wanted

Grouch: This is not what i wanted

Mac: What do u want me to do? I can’t put the beast back in the box, the blood back in the bodies, babe

Grouch: All i want, Mac, is for u to hear me! I cant sleep. I feel like im losing my mind! My whole world is crashing down, and i just want to talk to my husband about all of this craziness

Mac: U don’t need me. U need a doctor

Grouch: I talked to the doctor

Mac: What did he say

Grouch:He said i needed to pray

Mac: Typical quack. Remind me to fire that guy when this is all done

Grouch: It wouldnt matter anyway. I don’t need medicine. I need to understand how we got here

Mac: OMG, i honestly can’t right now

Grouch: Please, Mac. I don’t know what’s gonna happen

Mac: U didnt seem too worried about that when you were talking about unsexing yourself and bashing babies faces in, if u were a man

Mac: Remember that? Taunting and insulting me

Grouch: I know, i was wrong.

Grouch: Im sorry

Mac: Oh, sure, now ur sorry

Grouch: This isnt what i wanted

Mac: U shoulda thought about that

Grouch: I cant stop thinking about it now

Mac: I honestly dont know what u want from me. Im gettin ready to go out and meet them right now

Grouch: I just want u to listen. To care! I want to know im heard

Mac: Here we go again

Grouch: Quit doing that! Quit minimizing my problems! Were talking about health and wellbeing, mental health, and all u can do is dismiss my feelings

Mac: U want me to just tell our guests to hang out for a few hours while we sort this out

Grouch: Sarcasm isnt gonna help

Mac: Nothing is gonna help! Man up! Isnt that what you told me to do

Mac: Well, now its ur turn

Grouch: It isnt that easy

Mac: No, it isnt! But u didnt seem to get that! Not when i wanted to stop. Well now its me whos pushin

Grouch: I cant do this anymore, Mac

Mac: So gd melodramatic

Grouch: Im just gonna end up a footnote in this whole tragedy, just the evil bitch wife, like ur some f-ing hero

Mac: Im not doin this, im literally donning my garb right now

Grouch: Ppl won’t even know I was sorry, that i didnt want all of this to happen. I certainly never wanted anything to happen to those poor children

Mac: Thats fine, put it all on me

Grouch: This isnt about u, dammit

Mac: Whatever

Grouch: How could u do that to the kids, Mac

Mac: I have to stay on top! Everything ive done is to stay on top, and u know this. Ur the ambitious one

Grouch: My ambition would never take me that far. And ur best friend

Mac: Being on the same team as someone doesnt make em ur bestie

Grouch: U used to be full of the milk of human kindness. Now u cant even be tender towards ur own wife

Mac: Maybe bc i resent u for getting us into this mess

Grouch: There u go again, deflecting, blaming others. I never would have gone this far, never would have hurt kids

Mac: Of course not, ur so magnanimous now. Just hide behind me, ill fall on the damn sword

Grouch: Ive no doubt that what weve done is gonna be talked about for ages, and when ppl look at it, i hope they dont just see some powerful tragic hero and a bunch of nameless and manipulative women…

Mac: Whatever, i have to go

Grouch: …women that dont even get last words. Well, im getting mine now. I want the world to know that ppl are responsible for their actions, regardless of outside influences, that mental health is as important as physical health, and that its never too late to make the right choice, regardless of how much wrong u have done. Thats what can be learned from looking at my life

Mac: ur too much right now

Grouch: Enjoy ur war, killer

Mac: Ur such a drama queen

Grouch: Not just a queen, a brief candle, a walking shadow, but dont worry, ill strut and fret no more

Mac: What do u mean

Mac: Are u there

Mac: Im sorry babe. Are u there

Mac: Babe, are u there