The Hypnotic Garden

Entry 1, Aug 1, 17 yrs old.

There is a legend I have known since I was a little girl about a magical garden. A garden that, if given the care and affection it required, would, in turn, take care of you and give you beautiful gifts in return. My mother told me it was a place of beauty, and anyone who found their way there would go into a trance and stay for hours. She never told me about the gifts it offered, those I about when I eavesdropped on her conversations with friends. Unfortunately, my mother passed away years ago, and with her went the fable stories of the Hypnotic Garden. But my love of those stories has led me to where I am today, starting my first day of becoming a botanist.  

Entry 2, December 20, 17 yrs old

I forgot about this journal for a minute. School has been a bit more intense than I imagined it would be. I’m doing well. I have a digital art poster of what I think the Hypnotic Garden looks like. This guy, David, made it for me. I think it was his way of impressing me. It totally worked. I got a poster, he got laid, and the next day, I had a boyfriend. A week later, I was single again. Typical college romance.

Entry 3. March 3, 20 yrs old.

I found this book again as I unpacked my things in my little apartment, and I thought I would update it. I recently finished school and am now an inexperienced botanist with student loan debts. I have been to several job interviews but have yet to get any callbacks. I hate to admit this, but botany might have been a poor financial choice.

Entry 4, May 5, 20 yrs old.

Happy Cinco De Mayo, or it was until I got fired earlier this afternoon. You know what? I didn’t get fired; I was abandoned. Let me explain. I finally got a job working at a nursery downtown. I was making a formulated blend of food, and the owner loved my product so much that I got a nice bonus last week. Things were great until this morning when the warehouse was raided by the cops and I was arrested with the others for running a drug operation. I was able to get a lawyer and was let go. Have some court things to take care of, but my lawyer assures me I should be fine.

Entry 5, June 7, 20 yrs old.

My lawyer said everything would be fine, and it's not. I’ll admit, it could be a lot worse but it’s still not great. I am free to go, but because of my unknown affiliation with drugs, I am now blacklisted from every garden, nursery, and lawn care job in the state. To add insult to injury, I have your typical bills to pay, my student loans, and now, newly added to the pile, is my lawyer's bill. Grrr….

Entry 6, June 25, 20yrs old

I have decided to do something drastic. I can't find work, I have very little money saved, and things are getting worse rather than better, so I have decided to go on an epic quest to find the Hypnotic Garden. I sound crazy when I reread this, but I have been thinking about it for a few weeks and made up my mind. Tomorrow, I hop on a bus and head to my mother’s hometown.

Entry 8, June 26, 20yrs old.

Longest bus ride of my life! Also, I’m an idiot, I thought I would stay at a little bed and breakfast until I got on my feet, but there isn’t one around. All I could afford was a motel room that rents by the hour.

Entry 10, July 1, 20 yrs old.

Okay, I found a job and a place to stay. I am now a proud employee at Rupert’s Nursery, and for a small fee, I am allowed to camp in the back under a large tree. I remind myself often that this is only temporary, and things could be worse. I also officially started my quest. I visited a few gardens, but no one seemed to know about the one I was looking for. This weekend, I will try to look for more.

Entry 11, July 2, 20 yrs old.

Never say (or write) it could be worse. It’s raining… hard at the moment.

Entry 12, July 31, 20 yrs old.

Still no luck on my quest, but it’s still early in my endeavor. I did manage to make a new friend today. Her name is Maple, and I think what led to us talking so much was the fun fact that we both have plant names, with mine being Lily. She came in looking for a Japanese Cherry Blossom, but unfortunately, we didn’t have one. She was determined to find one and had a list of every nursey within fifty miles. I told her my quest, and before I knew it, we had plans to go to every place on the list until we both found what we were looking for.

Entry 13, Aug 7, 20 yrs old

It turns out that living in a tent where you work is not okay with everyone. One of those people is Maple. She looked at me in disgust when she picked me up this morning but didn’t say anything until she dropped me off. That was when she demanded that I get my things and stay with her. I argued against it, explaining that I was fine and happy, but who was I kidding? I am now sitting on a very comfy bed in an air-conditioned room and just took my first hot shower in weeks. Things are pretty good right now.

Entry 14, Aug 8, 20 yrs old.

Maple is a whore! I don’t mean that. But she is a dancer and not a ballet one either. She is on a stripper pole, shaking her butt and everything else for people to see.

Entry 15, Oct 10, 21 years old.

I had been living with Maple in her beautiful two-bedroom, two-bath townhouse for almost nothing and felt guilty, so I demanded that I start paying rent. My jaw must have hit the floor hard when she told me how much half the rent would be because she quickly told me I could pay a fraction. But I stayed firm on my demand like a dumbass and vowed to pay half of it. Now, I have a second job in the garden at the senior citizen center.

Entry 16, Oct 31, 21 years old.

Went to a strip club for the first time. It was a Halloween party that Maple insisted I attend. I may have drank a little more than I intended because I don’t remember much of it. I was offered a job. I said no, but the pay almost made me say yes.

Entry 17, Nov 25, 21 years old.

It’s Turkey Day! Maple went to visit her parents for the holiday. She invited me, but I declined because of work, which I regretted, until this afternoon. I was working in the garden when Jerry Hopkins and his nurse came through. Jerry enjoyed the garden but never talked. Today, his nurse left him on a bench beside me while she went to the bathroom. I asked Jerry if he liked the flowers, and he nodded. I felt a little awkward with him just watching me, and I started speaking about whatever came to mind. I somehow started talking about my quest to find the Hypnotic Garden, and Jerry shot up with a look of interest on his face. I asked him if he had heard about it, and he smiled and slowly nodded. My excitement became uncontrollable as I started asking Jerry question after question. Is it Magical? Where is it? Is it far? How do I get there? I pressed on. His nurse rushed over and pulled me away from him, telling me I was working him up. Unfortunately, security escorted me off the grounds. Tomorrow, I’ll talk to him with a more composed attitude.

Entry 18, Nov 26, 21 yrs old.

Today did not go well. Have you ever woken up super excited about what the day had in store for you, only to be disappointed in every way and then some? I got to work looking forward to talking to Jerry, only to get called into my boss's office and told I was fired. I tried to defend myself, but my argument was instantly shot down when he told me Jerry died of a heart attack. Silver lining, he died with a smile on his face. That didn’t help me feel better, but maybe down the road, it will.

Entry 19, Dec 5, 21 yrs old.

Okay, so… Jerry still might be helping me. I went with Maple to his grave to apologize for possibly killing him. I still feel horrible about that. Anyway, we learned that the graveyard used to be a garden. So, tomorrow, we will talk to the woman who runs the grounds.

Entry 20, Dec 6, 21 yrs old.

I’m not sure if the cemetery was ever the Hypnotic Garden, but after today, I hope it wasn’t. Susan told us that the area was once a garden years ago and was slowly converted into a cemetery. During that time, some employees were scamming widows and widowers out of their things. I know my mother was no saint, but I hate to think she was doing things like that. However, if it is the garden, then Jerry should be happy about his final resting place. Also, a fun fact: A graveyard has a church attached to it, and a cemetery does not. I didn’t think it mattered, but Susan was pretty adamant about it.

Entry 21, Jan 1, 21 yrs old.

The garden is still at large. I did some research on the cemetery. The garden was entirely gone by the time my mom would have been there. I think I need a break. I decided to change my life direction and return to school to become a therapist. Good luck to me. I also work with Maple now; tonight is my first dance.

Entry 22, Sept 7, 21 yrs old.

Maple believes she found a solid lead on the Hypnotic Garden. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited. She warned that it's no longer open, but it would be good to know for sure.

Entry 23, Sept 15, 21 yrs old.

I went to a warehouse today. There's a strong chance it could have been the Hypnotic Garden. The inside was full of old shovels, broken lights, and other obvious garden equipment. There was also a dilapidated greenhouse on the roof. We asked around, and only the shopkeeper of the record store across the way knew about the place. We asked if it was called the Hypnotic Garden, but he couldn’t remember. He did say that the name would fit perfectly. We are going to try to track down the old owners.

Entry 24, Oct 28, 22 yrs old

Maple is a godsend. She found the old owner, or at least the city official she is dating did. We tracked him down and tried asking him about the garden, but he refused to talk about it. I told him about my quest, hoping it would change his mind, but it didn’t.

I asked if there was anything I could do to get him to talk about it, and he told me to prove I was not a cop. I felt my heart sink when he said that. I knew then that the garden was no place good but I still needed to know so I did the only thing I knew how to prove I wasn’t a cop.

I invited him to the club.

Entry 25, Oct 30, 22 yrs old

Insert sigh here… My search is over. I should have known; the signs were all there.

Last night, I talked to Easy Steve. I don’t know why he calls himself that, but he does. It didn’t take much to prove I wasn’t a cop; a few dances and a little stage trick did the job. Afterward, Steve sat with me and talked nonstop about his garden.

He bragged about his warehouse, which was one of the best drug stations he had at the time. He also talked about the enormous parties and the women who worked for him. I stopped listening at that point. I asked him if he had called it the Hypnotic Garden, hoping it hadn’t been, but he said it had no name. He mentioned that guests and employees all had their names for it, and Hypnotic Garden was one he heard many times. He said it would be a fitting name with all the psychedelic drugs that were taken there.

So, that’s about it. My quest is over, and the legendary garden was just a drug plant. Yay…

I’m not sure what I was hoping to find. Maybe a connection to my mother, maybe a dream from my childhood, or maybe some magical place where things just worked out. I think if the garden had ever really been that great, my mother wouldn’t have left it.

Entry 26. October 6, 25 yrs old.

It’s been a few years since I opened this little journal of mine. I guess one more entry wouldn’t hurt.

I accept that I will never experience the Hypnotic Garden as my mother did. It was a different time, and for her, it was probably just as grand as she made it out to be. Shortly after my quest was over, I focused on improving my life, and things started improving.

I am no longer ashamed of being a dancer. That left when I met my fiancé. We met when the girls and I decided to visit a male strip club one night. It is a cute story involving a little liquor and a lot of dancing—like an x-rated version of a Disney dance movie—but that’s a tale for another time.

I also have my own place. I've only had it for a few months now, and it’s so cute. And the best part is that it is next door to Maple, who is getting married in a few weeks. I'm super excited about that. I never thought I would be someone's best friend or bridesmaid, for that matter, but here I am.

I am also almost debt-free, well, besides my mortgage payment. I paid off my student loans and that lawyer bill lingering over me.

What else? Oh, I am also almost done with school and about to become a therapist. That was a tough journey but extremely rewarding, and I have never felt prouder of myself.  

I guess that’s about it.Oh, and one more thing. Tonight, the club is having a huge party, and afterward, it will be closed for a few months while it gets a complete makeover. So tomorrow will be my last day as a dancer because when it opens back up, I will be a full-time therapist, or that is the plan. I never mentioned this, but Maple was in law school when I met her, and a few months ago, she passed the bar exam. She hasn’t said anything but I think tonight will be her last day as a dancer too.

The Hypnotic Garden wasn’t what I thought it was, but its pursuit led me to find my own happiness and magic. So, I guess it helped me in its own way.

Entry 27, October 7, 26 yrs old.

Okay, so I know I said yesterday was my closing entry, but I needed to add one more. Let's start by saying happy birthday to me! And what a great birthday it was.

Last night, I danced like never before. In the end, I was joined on stage by my fiancé, probably the only guy ever allowed on stage at Bo Peep's Club, but for a good reason. After the dance, he proposed. Talk about being vulnerable—being proposed to in public is nerve-racking enough, but being proposed to in front of everyone while you're naked is a whole different level of something altogether.

I said yes, but I think I’ll edit the story a bit when I retell it to my kids. Maybe I’ll be a ballerina in that version until they’re old enough to hear the truth.

After the guests left and everything quieted down, the girls brought me a cake and sang happy birthday, which was really sweet. Both their actions and the cake were sweet—I'm pretty sure Maple made it; that girl loves sugar.

Okay, need to focus before I get off track.

So, after the cake, the girls and I decided to help Maxine clean out the club of costumes and other items before the workers arrived. Some of the girls moved a heavy piece of furniture that had been covering up a small hole in the wall. Inside the hole was a wooden box with “dirty secrets” written across the top, so of course, we opened it.

Drum roll... it was a time capsule, and not just any time capsule, but one that held what I had been looking for. We opened the box, and inside were letters and pictures from everyone who worked there at the time. Maple stood still as she stared at a group photo and then slowly handed it to me without saying a word. I grabbed the photo, curious about what made her look like a deer in headlights. The picture was taken in front of the club before its last remodel, back when it was still called the Hypnotic Garden, and I recognized the woman in the front row, third from the left.