Under the Floorboards

Oohs and Aahs that dissipated from the air carry me to the back of the stage with an arm around my waist. But right when I get behind the curtain the arm of the man who loved me on stage now walks away to a group of people. There’s a tugging feeling in my chest though I should be happy everything went so well. His slim figure and bright eyes gleam with the light that seeps through the panels of the stage as he glances at me. On stage, you would think that we are each other's lives when in reality, I don’t even know him. Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish reality from show, that's why I admire his ability to do it so well. 

I stand still, heart pounding as puffs of air caress my skin with every person that walks by with a prop in hand. I watch as Petey walks back on stage for his next scene to cause me agony. 

“Betty! What has you down here so early?” Petey’s voice booms across the auditorium and theater.

“I was wondering why you haven’t told your parents about the engagement yet.”

“Oh Betty, I just haven’t found the time.”

“Are you regretting your proposal to me?”

“It’s anything but that my dear.”

That's the moment when I hear the peck of whatever spot on her he has landed his lips. After the kiss, you can hear the slight Oohs of the crowd once again but for all the wrong reasons. The thought of the scene squeezes my heart even though I tell myself to not believe those sparks on stage. 

“Get ready,” Claire, a stagehand, says.

I remind myself once again that it isn’t the connection between us but the memorized lines before I walk back on stage. This scene will be easier with all these real feelings building up inside.

I gracefully make my way out on stage at the perfect time, right when Petey is kissing the character, Betty. But to me, it feels like Petey kissing Amelia, the face behind Betty. I back into a table, making the books on top of it fall off, which causes the two lovers to break apart.

“Nora?” Petey says as he moves Betty to the side.

I keep backing up with a betrayed look on my face as Petey comes closer.

“You wouldn’t understand if I told you,” he says.

My back presses slightly on the stage panels as if I am cornered and I reply “You’re right Olly, I wouldn’t.” before exiting the stage but this time, without a partner in arm.

When I get backstage once more, I slump up against a wall to catch my breath. But before I give myself time to sulk, I walk to Claire who starts to wrap a scarf around me and puts a jacket on me. As she does so, I focus on what I can hear on stage. Petey explains to Betty that I am a friend who gets easily jealous. Betty has great joy in those words; joyous that she's obtained something desirable enough for another. For a moment, only a moment, I am mad and scoff at her enjoyment but then I remember, once again, that we’re characters.

After plenty of lines have been passed, my jacket and scarf become unimaginably hot and I dread the moment where the spotlight will follow me like a burning sun.  

Petey rushes to the back of the stage as stagehands lurk through their shadows onto a dark stage to change the scenery. As that goes on, Petey is about to walk right past me until he turns to look at me.

I give him a curious look until he says “you forgot your hat.” and finds it on top of a rack, placing it on my head.

I pat my head to make sure it’s on right and give him a “thank you” that he returns with a smile.

My face burns slightly red at the scene with no script which helps the illusion that the stage is cold. The stage is still dark as I walk onto it to position myself on a small bench in the middle. Lights turn on and the area around me looks as if winter made it its priority to fall here. There’s a dissociated look on my face as I sit with heartbreak in my hands.

Petey walks onto the stage with a big jacket. He suddenly stops and looks at me with surprise on his face as I look up at him. I immediately get up to walk away as fast as I can until I stop at the sound of Petey saying “Nora, please.”

My back is now to Petey when I say “Before you said I wouldn’t understand. What makes you think that I'll get it now, or that I even want to at all?” 

He answers my question with silence.

“That's what I thought,” I say over my shoulder and turn my head back again to leave.

“Everything between you and me was real,” He says in a rush. “If I can promise you anything, I can promise you that.” 

This line, though it’s been said many times before, causes me to stop in my tracks slightly more than scripted.

“That’s a sad argument for the act you pulled off.” I throw over my shoulder before walking away, one last time off the stage.

Petey walks towards me again and says “Nora!” before someone interrupts him.

“Mr. Denholm!” says Freddy, the boy who plays Mr. Eldon.

Even though my character is officially gone, I get to learn things that the Nora on stage isn’t supposed to learn. It makes you wish you could still be Nora, and that you being backstage was just you eavesdropping. If that was the case, it would have been a happy ending for Nora and Olly. 

“Mrs. Henderson will have the three grand sent to your brother’s treatment and family as promised for your services with Betty Henderson,” says Mr. Eldon. “And as you know, please try to be discreet with this transaction. Remember, you’re not finished boy, you have a long way to go.”

“I’ve already risked it all for his operation,” Petey pauses, “a promise is a promise.” 

If only Nora Osmond could hear this, then she’d understand. Then she could stop him from getting married to a woman he has no eyes for. But she was unable to save Olly Denholm from a life of misery.

The play is over once Petey runs backstage to grab my hand for the curtain call. We stay there for a moment, hands weaved together, smiling, as applause echo around the theater. Hand and hand we walk backstage once more. Before Petey can run off anywhere, I pull him to the side.

“Hey, since this was our last, I was wondering if you’d be interested in hanging out sometime?” I ask with a slight tremble in my voice.

“Oh my, Nora! It’s been years since we’ve talked.” he chuckles, “sure we can hang out if the old ball and chain don’t mind.”

Nora.