Mommy and Daddy

They sat across from one another on the carpet of Talia’s bedroom. Talia eyed her mother with scrutiny. She looked different now. Still beautiful, still lovely and graceful…but different. She didn’t look like a mom anymore. She looked like a person. A lying, gross, scrupulous…person. Talia wanted to yell, but no words would come, they were all scrambled up in her brain.

“Please, say something. Do you hate me?” Christy asked with tears running down her face.

“Why… How could you?” Talia finally spoke.

“I—I—You gotta let me try to explain. Can you hear me out?”

“Why would you do this to daddy?”

Christy sobbed harder.

“I’m not mad,” Talia told her mother. “I still love you.”

Christy smiled weakly. “I…I waited to tell you until now because…well…you’re so mature, I thought you’d be able to hear me out rationally.”

Talia was twelve-years-old. But her age didn’t really matter. Christy had been confiding in Talia with her personal problems since her daughter was six.

“How long had this been going on?”

“…about a year.”

Talia hid her face in her hands and lost it. She sobbed, not wanting her mom to see.

“Please don’t cry, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Let me explain—”

“Then explain!”

Christy reached for her daughter’s face to wipe away the tears, but she jerked away.

“Just explain already.”

“I…I met him at Walmart about a year ago. He works there.”

“But…why cheat on daddy? Don’t you love him anymore?”

Christy looked down at the carpet. “Your daddy doesn’t treat me right.”

Talia shook her head. “What? No way. Like…what do you mean?”

“He…he doesn’t call me pretty anymore. He doesn’t talk me out anymore. He gets off work and he doesn’t talk to me…he just watches tv.”

Talia mulled this over.

“He called me ‘fat’ yesterday,” Christy added.

“What? No way!”

“He did! He said I’m getting fat!”

“You’re not!”

“He doesn’t think I’m pretty anymore.”

“You’re beautiful!”

“Thanks, sweetie…but your dad doesn’t think so…”

They were silent for a while. Talia couldn’t think of anything else to say. It was two o’clock in the morning and her brain felt fried. She wanted this to all be a bad dream.

“So?” Christy probed. “What do you think? Do you see where I’m coming from?”

Talia rubbed her eyes and sighed. “I…guess so…but I don’t think you should have cheated on him.”

“There’s something else…”

“W—What?”

“Your dad cheated on me before.”

Talia shook her head. “No! When?”

“When you were little. With a lady from church.”

Talia sat silently. She couldn’t process this. It was so unlike the image she had of her father; she couldn’t reconcile.

“I forgave him…because I loved him. But lately…he’s just been so…inattentive. I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore.”

With the wisdom of her twelve long years on earth Talia replied, “Have you talked to him about this?”

“I’ve tried. He doesn’t listen.”

Talia played with a stuffed frog. She stared at his large black eyes and smiled. Her father had gotten it for her when she was little.

“So…what do you think?” Christy was looking at her expectantly.

Talia petted the frog. “Um…I don’t know…”

“Should I leave your dad?”

Talia looked up at her, eyes wide. “No! Don’t leave him! Don’t leave us!”

“I won’t be leaving you…just your father.”

She studied her mother’s face, and didn’t quite believe her. “I…don’t think you should leave. I think you should stop seeing that guy and try talking to dad…maybe marriage counseling?”

“He refuses to go to marriage counseling.”

Talia threw her hands up in the air. “Well, I don’t know then! I guess just leave!”

“Quiet! Quiet! You’ll wake up your dad.”

“He should be awake for this! He deserves to know!”

“I’m going to tell him…tomorrow.”

“Are you going to leave?”

Christy was silent.

“Are you going to leave us?”

“Yes…I’m going to leave.”

Talia choked on a lump in her throat. “Don’t you still love me?”

Christy scooted over to her and wrapped her arms around her. “Of course, I love you, sweet heart…but I have to leave your dad…I’m not happy.”

With those last few words, she gained Talia’s empathy.

“I want you to be happy…”

“So, you agree? You’re on my side? I should leave your father?”

Talia rubbed her eyes aggressively. “Yeah…if that’ll make you happy…”

Christy kissed her on the top of the head. “Okay, baby, you need to go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning and we’ll talk some more.” She helped Talia into bed. “I love you, sweetheart. Thank you for talking with me.”

“Love you, mommy. Can you stay until I fall asleep?”

Christy sat down next to her daughter and stroked her hair, just like she used to when she was a little girl. Talia was asleep in minutes.

She woke to the red glow of sunlight piercing through her eyelids. “Ugh!” She buried her head under the covers. A second later she was nearly back asleep when a loud CRASH jolted her awake

“Mom?”

Fear washed over her. She suddenly remembered everything. “Mom!?” She jumped out of bed and ran to her bedroom door. Ear to the door, she listened intently. She could hear a soft whimpering. Opening the door just a crack, she peered out through the living room and into the dining room. Her dad was sitting at the table with his face buried in his arms, sobbing.

“Dad?” She left her room and slowly approached him.

He looked up with red eyes.

“Daddy, what’s wrong?” She had never seen him cry before.

He handed her a note that he’d been crushing in his fist. She unwrinkled it the best she could and read:

I’m sorry, Ryan, but I can’t do this anymore. You don’t see me. You no longer hear me. I need to be seen and heard. I’m leaving you. I’m sorry.

Goodbye,

Christy

Talia stared at the note long after she finished reading it. “No…she left…she really left…he’s so hurt…oh, look at him…don’t cry…don’t cry…” Her thoughts were spiraling and she was on the brink of vomiting. The note fell to the ground and she placed her hand on his back. He stood and embraced her, squeezing her tight, his face buried in her shoulder, tears soaking her t-shirt.

“I’m sorry, dad.”

He huffed loudly but remained silent.

“I’m so…so sorry…this is all my fault…”

He sniffed and looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“Mom talked to me last night…and I…I dunno…I was confused, I guess...”

“W—what did you talk about?”

Talia pulled away from her father and sat in a dining chair.

“She…she said she’s been seeing someone else…”

She could see her father crumple again. He sat heavily and his head fell to the table with a loud thud. He staid that way for a while, crying and wheezing, until she spoke again.

“She said she wasn’t happy…I told her she should be happy…I’m so sorry!”

He lifted his head, brows furrowed. “Honey…this isn’t your fault.”

“It is! She wanted my permission and I gave it to her! I didn’t think...I didn’t understand…”

“Of course not, sweetheart.” He put his hand on hers.

Talia began to cry.

“Don’t cry. Don’t cry, baby, come here.”

She came over to him and he held her like she was a child again, allowing her to cry until she was cried out. “I’m still so sorry, dad. I love you…and I don’t want you to be hurt.”

“Baby, it’s not your fault…but I’m glad you’re on my side.”

She pulled away. “What? What do you mean?”

“I mean…she shouldn’t have cheated on me. She left me…she left us.”

Talia tried to grasp this.

“We’re going to get a divorce.”

No thoughts would come. Frozen.

“You’re going to stay with me, right? If she asks you to come live with her…you’ll stay with me? You won’t leave me?

Talia looked him in his red puffy eyes and replied, “Yeah...if that’ll make you happy…”