Light In The Darkness

Are you there God? It’s me Michael. I know I haven’t talked to you in a while, I guess because I had nothing really to talk about. But life has been hard, seems like every corner I turn, I am getting kicked and beat down. Bills are piling up; work increased my hours but not my pay. Food, water, shelter all essential items that require to live all require so much money, more then I make. Working 60 plus hours a week, trying to support my children, and only making $12.50 an hour, while there are children working at fast food restaurants making $15.00 an hour. But my work offers insurance which I need for my children, so I can’t leave. We all now seem to be going to the doctors more than ever because of covid. Another kick down, beat down waiting around the corner, COVID! Best friends, family, wives, husbands, children, fighting and living in fear over a sickness, but we are all blinded by the true sickness, Hatred! We hate that loved ones and friends can’t see eye to eye. I’m right, their right, but we are all wrong. Time and time again, sickness after sickness, bill after bill, are you there God?

             I know I haven’t talked to you in a while, I guess I like to make the times I come to you worth your time. I’ve been making a list of problems I have, but this time I ran out of paper. I’m in danger of losing my job. I have 4 kids, every time one gets over covid, the next child gets it. It’s like they are taking a ticket in line, each by each they get called next. My number is coming soon I know it, I can already feel the scratchiness in my throat. I keep having to quarantine, my job is getting upset that I keep missing work. I also lost a good friend today, because we don’t see eye to eye on the new vaccine. Why should things be so complicated, why should these issues come between love. Why can’t we all wake up, and just love each other. Why can’t we all just get along. Are you there God?

             My college loans have been on hold for two years due to covid; it was nice to have a break, but now they are collecting again. I have a 4-year degree in teaching but was never able to find a teaching job. So, now I work in a factory making less then someone does at a fast-food restaurant. “College is the answer to all” “College will make you wealthy” “College this and College that” the sayings and teachings of my teachers, brain washing me to think I would be a low life if I didn’t go to college. But now college is the main factor of why I am in debt. Teachers don’t ever talk about trade school. If I went to trade school, I could be living a happy wealthy life right now. But now I can’t even afford to pay my college loan payment. Why, oh why won’t you answer? My life is falling apart, I don’t know what to do anymore! Are you there God?

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             I am here, where are you, Michael? My son I hear you, I know you haven’t come to me in a while, but that’s ok my child, I am here always. I always know what’s on your heart. Life is hard by your eyes but let’s look through my eyes. Every corner you turn I am with you, every time you get knocked down, who do you think picks you back up. You are still standing, aren’t you? I have not left. I provided you with a job with insurance for your family. Pay is not great, but money is the root to all evil. Your work increased your hours, not because they are trying to take advantage of you. But because they have realized how great of a worker you are and how essential you are to their company. Noticed how they didn’t ask anyone else to work more, because they aren’t able to rely on anyone else. You are strong and confident that’s why they increased your hours. Do you hear me, are you still there Michael?

             Michael, wake up and see the light in the dark. Work and money are not the answers to life. Family, friends, spouses, children, memories, and laughter are all what life is about, the reasons worth living for. Have you not noticed since you and your family have been in quarantine, how many laughs came from your house, how many hugs were given, how many “I love you” were said, how many memories have you guys made? Your family was falling apart before covid, but now your family is stronger more than ever. Before covid you would have wanted to work as many hours as possible at work and not be home with your family, but here you are coming to me and crying about how they increased your hours. My child that’s a blessing not a curse. Please listen to me, are you still there Michael?

             Your calling was never to be a teacher in schools. Yes, college now a days are charging way too much, knowledge was always meant to be free. But everyone is always trying to take advantage of the poor. But don’t worry about that. Your calling was always to help and teach children that are unable to go to school, to give them proper education. Your calling is to tutor the children in need. For one-on-one teaching. Your calling was never to be a teacher, overworked and under pay, to teach in a classroom full of 30+ children, in a system that lacks the proper education and support for the teacher. Don’t give up my child, go find the kids in need and help them! Use your degree, that you worked so hard for, don’t worry about the money, I will provide for you, I’ve always had and always will! Did you hear that, are you still there Michael?

             The person you called your close friend, wasn’t really your friend. You never noticed but your friend that left you over a disagreement about the covid vaccine, has stolen and lied to you and talked bad about you behind your back. You don’t need people like that in your life, I promise you will be happier now. Look for the light in people’s hearts, they are your true friends. I have and will always take negative people away from you. You are bright and strong, don’t let darkness take your light. I hope you heard that, are you still there Michael?

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              Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve talked to you. Last time I talked I said a lot. I promise this time will be different. This time I have great news, I’ve talked to my work about the stress I’ve been going through, and they listened to me. They cut my hours back to only 40 hours a week, and even gave me a manager promotion more pay and less hours! They also heard about my struggles with paying my student loan back, and they said since I’ve been such a loyal and dedicated worker, they were going to pay half of my student loan. I don’t think I’ve ever cried happy tears, until they said that. My wife and kids are the happiest I’ve ever seen them. I find myself falling more in love with my wife every day, how is that possible? I even started volunteering my time to homeless shelters and at foster care homes. I’ve been tutoring children in need. I had a funny urge to start helping kids and I figured since I have this degree, I may as well do some good with it. Last time we talked, I had lost a good friend, but now my wife and I met this couple at church, and they are great. I’ve never had friends like them. I honestly love them like family. This time God, I just want to say thank you! It’s like you heard me and you were there all those times. Thanks for showing me the light even in the dark moments. You saved me and my marriage, I hope you can hear all of this. Are you there God? It’s me Michael!