secrets carried to the grave

"can you keep a secret??" the rushed 6 syllables escaping my girlfriends lips brought me back from my dissociative trance. my eyes immediately fall to her auburn red hair that was tied much too tightly in a ponytail at the back of her head, the hairstyle reeking of sleepless nights and too much stress, her lips were cracked and peeling as if shed been chewing on them, her usually cool icy blue eyes were now bloodshot and wide with a manic stare. it felt as if her eyes might pierce through my head if i held eye contact much longer.

finally i cleared my throat and let my eyes focus on her reddened face, did she run here? there was so much off about her right now. she was acting very strange. from her speech, to the way she nervously wrings her hands together at her lower abdomen, the way she refused to hold eye contact for very long as if she was hiding something. whatever this secret was it couldnt be good and i knew that much.

"yeah what is it love?" i ask calmly, trying my hardest to push past the fact something was obviously off with her.

"you promise you wont tell anyone?" she asked in a frantic almost untrusting tone. shes always trusted me...why now all of a sudden is this distrust appearing in our relationship?

"yeah OfCourse my love my lips are sealed" i gave a small reassuring smile as i gesture my fingers across my lips in a zipping and locking motion.

she gives a hesitant nod and a small very obviously fake smile. in this moment she seems to forget how well i can read her.

"follow me, i wanna show you something." she says as she takes my hand tightly in her much smaller one and she begins to lead me away from our highschool. she held onto my hand so tightly as if i was a lifeline keeping her from collapsing. she looked as if she hadnt eaten in days, or slept...whats going on with her?

we walk for a while eventually coming up to the tree line at the edge of the woods a few miles away from our school. she glances back at me before leading me into the woods, with each step i felt more and more uneasy at what all this could entail. what had silvia done? was it bad? was i actually gonna be able to keep her secret or would i have to tell someone? would i have to rat out my girlfriend? the questions circled in my head like a tornado of conflict and curiosity.

eventually she came to a stop, being so lost in my thoughts i hadnt realized just how deep into the woods she had led me. at her feet was a pile of dirt and leaves, the surrounding us was pungent and nauseating it smelt like something had died.

she kicks away some of the leaves revealing a blue tarp which she bends at the hip to grab and pull back, leaves and dirt fly into the air creating a dusty display. the smell grew even stronger and when i looked down into the hole a few feet away i couldnt control the gasp that expelled itself from my lips. i cant explain the way my legs threatened to give out causing me to stumble back.

in the hole staring back at me was our classmate, lorelei stevens, my ex. her eyes were fogged over and lifeless, her face was grey and veiny, her lips a deep purple and her throat was opened with a large gash, magots and flies using her throat as a tunnel for food and breeding. i could feel my stomach turning and the manic eyes which glared at me watching my fear and disgust. i hunch over, unable to control the retching as i puke up todays lunch. as im panting and wiping my mouth i feel her hand on my back which makes me stumble away from her my eyes widening with fear as i spun around to look at her.

“Theres no doubt that she still wanted you elijah…she was dangerous. A danger to our future, a danger to us!” her voice trembled with mania and determination. “I had to get rid of her so she wouldnt try to steal you from me. I could never let another girl have you elizah. We belong together, its our destiny! We were fated to be with each other!”

those piercing blue eyes stared into my soul as she spoke with such crazed surety. Before i knew what was even happening my legs began to carry me as fast as they could in the other direction. i didnt know where i was going all i knew was i was trying to get as far away from her as possible. i could hear her gaining footsteps, after all silvia was one of our schools best track runners.

"cmon babe you said youd keep your lips sealed" she shouted out for me. i did what i shouldnt have and looked backwards, she was really close. i turn back and push myself as hard as i could as the tree line slowly becomes visible.

i can feel my heart hammering in my chest, felt like it was in my ears, as i ran as fast as my legs could muster. right as i start to gain the smallest sliver of hope i feel a sickening crunch and heat in the back of my skull before everything goes dark.

hours mustve past but i woke with a throbbing in my head and as i opened my eyes i found myself surrounded by dirt. i look around and move to sit up but my chest was heavy, dirt piled atop of it. i look up right as more dirt is thrown on top of me. silvia stood shoveling dirt over me, i opened my mouth to scream but the cloth shoved in my mouth made it impossible. all i could do now is watch as who i thought was the love of my life bury me alive as i take her secret to the grave.