5 comments

Funny

My sister's favorite room in the house is the bathroom. She spends a lot of her time there. Too much, in my opinion. She pees and poops a lot. I used to say, "That's so gross." But she'd respond with, "Everyone does it, stop being immature about it."

My sister also showers for two hours. I think. She blowdries, straightens, and brushes her hair. She likes to dress up and put make-up in the bathroom as well. My sister also brings her phone with her to the bathroom to watch stuff and also books when she's pooing. Now that's definitely not something "everyone does".


I was at a feast with some of my friends today. We were celebrating Jannet's birthday, and I don't know what I ate. Now, my stomach is churning and my insides are dying. I want to fall to the ground and just lie there, but I need to go to the bathroom.

I need to poo.

I slam on the wooden door, the white paint peeling off it. "Ayo! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" I want to scream, but my stomach grumbles, and I hunch over, clenching my hands and buttcheeks.

A muffled voice replied softly, "Stop screaming at me. Also, shut up I'm changing right now," and I hear ruffling.

At this point, I'm slamming the door with my hands, but I hold my other arm to my stomach and I'm suddenly not in the mood to waste my energy like this.

"I NEED TO SHART! I'M GOING TO HAVE DIARRHEA! IF YOU DON'T OPEN THE DOOR I'M GONNA POOP ON YOUR CLOTHES!" I screech out, falling to the ground.

Oh man, my stomach is grumbling again and I hurl. "Hmm, normally I would leave but you're being mean, so I think I'll just stay here for a while."

"What the actual heck bro. WHY? WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME SUFFER!" I cry out in despair. HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME? MY OWN SISTER!

"Because I said so," she sang and then hummed WAP but the opera version. This woman is being absurd!

This was outrageous. "I really need to go~" and I'm whining now, stomping on the ground. I run, I'm walking around moving back and forth. I need to go, my life depends on it.

I start slamming the door and frantically twisting the doorknob. "I HATE YOU!" I start panting, OH MAN I THINK IT'S GOING TO COME OUT!

The doorknob finally turns, I hear my sister start to say something, but it's too late. A large "kshhh" and a plop comes shortly after.

We both stand there, I look into her eyes which are full of disgust, her eyebrows pressed against her eyelids and she scrunched her nose.

"I pooed," I mumbled.

Her jaw loosened, and there was a small gap between her lips. She stood there blankly, her head facing towards me but her eyes stuck onto the liquid, or solid? that was dripping down my legs and pants.

She then slowly lifted her chin to look into my eyes, and her eyebrows lifted while her lips curved into a large grin. She started laughing, yet it sounded like she was wailing.

I hear rustling and keys jingling. Heavy breathing and some footsteps. Our parents are home. I don't even have to turn around, but the footsteps stop. "Oh. My. Goodness." My mother inhaled.

"What happened here!" My father screams, but my sister is still guffawing on the floor, and I don't want to see the horrified expression on their face.



May 20, 2021 22:36

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5 comments

Ash M
20:27 May 24, 2021

I edited it y'all :)

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Ash M
22:39 May 20, 2021

I wrote this because I needed to poo, and I wanted to write. But, when your stomach feels like it's about to explode, it's hard to focus on anything but what's currently happening. I hope you enjoyed the story! Also, please point out grammatical and punctuation errors, even though this was written as a joke.

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Arham Ishraq
16:34 May 21, 2021

nevermind i just cant take this whole story seriously

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Izzie Chan
14:12 May 24, 2021

agreed

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Arham Ishraq
16:31 May 21, 2021

i cant take this seriously because of the name but okay

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