The In-Crowd

In my high school years I took a psychology course that spanned four semesters. During one of the later units we were taught about the psychology of conformity, the tendency of individuals in a group to change their behavior or ideologies to conform (big surprise) to the rest of the group. If you’re spending your time with a good crowd, it’s all fine; having positive influences never hurt anyone. However, a problem DOES arise when you fall in with a bad crowd. Anything can happen when you’re surrounded by evil, but it will almost always be something foul.

Twenty three or so years later, my son Albert came home from school the other day boasting about a new clique he’d become a part of. He’d been desperately chasing after this mini-congregation for a month or so, attempting to edge his way in, and had now finally ‘done it’. Intrigued by his unusual enthusiasm and determination, I bit.

“What makes these guys so great?”

He thought for a moment, possibly to think of an answer I would approve of or maybe just to figure it out for himself. After his great internal debate he went with the safest answer possible:

“They’re cool.”

I was ready with a quick retort.

“Well, what makes them so cool?”

As he contemplated what he wanted to respond I recalled my experience with the ‘cool kids’ at my school. There was a group of five of them led by Rachel Benz, a spoiled brat from Cali with equally irritating parents. They let their precious only-child get away with anything, no strings attached. She smoked, drank, got high; anything she could get her hands on (which was almost everything under the sun) was on the table. The lack of discipline obviously didn’t help Rachel with controlling her characteristic negligence, and after a long night of drinking…well let’s just say we had a school wide assembly the next morning.

“So who are these new friends of yours?” I asked to break his long pause.

”Me, Joel, Fred, Mitch and Zack.”

Zack…I’d heard that name tossed around before in conversation with other parents. I didn’t exactly remember what they were saying about him; as long as they weren’t talking about my kid (at least in a derogatory way) I wouldn’t pay much heed to them.

I accepted his swift response and let him scurry off to his room. Mama had work to do.

Within minutes I was on the phone with three mothers from the grade. They immediately spilled all of the beans about each of the kids’ roles:

Zack “The Leader”: The ‘coolest’ one in the group — everyone follows him

Joel “The Jokester”: He’s the funniest one, only kept around for comic relief

Fred “The Follower”: He can always be found kissing the leader’s ass — he never argues, just follows

Mitch “The Brains”: Ask him a question and he’ll give you the answer, but he’s not repulsively nerdy

Barbra, one of the council members, added that Zack had been suspected of vaping in the school bathroom multiple times and already had a stacked past filled with suspensions. THIS is the kid that MY kid is now ‘friends with’. Great.

Albert walked in the door today looking so proud. He didn’t even take his bag off before he announced that he was invited to hang out with the group on Saturday and, of course, they’re going to be at Zack’s house. I can see it now: a little puff here, a sip there, and next thing you know he’ll be dead in a ditch. I can’t let him go; I have to protect him…but maybe I should let him. Maybe he has to learn for himself what happens when you follow the wrong person. Sure, I’ll keep an eye on him. I’m not stupid after all. I’ll watch from a distance and if I see things getting out of hand I’ll just pull him out.

It’s been a month. So far things seem to be going by just fine. The group’s been hanging out a couple times a week outside of school and Zack’s been suspended more times than I can count on one hand, but Albert’s fine. His teachers haven’t said anything bad, his grades are still consistent, and he looks to be the same person.

Last week I asked him what exactly they do during their get-togethers.

”We talk.”

“Anything else?”

”Sometimes we play video games.”

Nothing incriminating there, but the way he said it made it appear like there’s more he’s keeping hidden.

Six months later and things are starting to go downhill. I noticed that his overall grade went down by one point. ONE POINT! At this rate he’ll be a junkie on the street shiving anybody with a pocketbook to pay for his next fix. I’ll interfere soon because if I don’t then he’ll be stuck on this path forever, descending from purity to taintedness. He’s on the highway to hell and there’s no traffic.

Right now Al’s in camp up north with some of his other friends, but not Zack. Thank the Lord. This year he’s going into high school, the make it or break it years that decide his fate. If I get him away from Zack this year then he’ll be safe with a diploma and (hopefully) a handful of scholarships to the best ivy leagues.

For now I’ll let him have his fun in camp, which he already seems to be having. He called me the other day to tell me about all the places they’ve traveled through, and it does sound pretty great. I just pray that the time he’s spending away from those demons will make him realize the error of his ways. He’s a smart kid; he’ll understand that they’re just a bunch of low-lifes and then separate himself from them when school comes around. I’m sure of it.

He’s stupid. The week before school started they all slept over at Zack’s and it’s looking like I’m going to see another year of his influence. They got pizza, watched a horror movie (which I would NEVER let Albert do) and stayed up ALL NIGHT! Does this kid not have parents or something!? Why are they letting him get away with this? It’s like Rachel all over again!

If that wasn’t bad enough, Al flunked his first science quiz. He’s supposed to know this stuff like the back of his hand! There’s no other explanation for this other than his hanging out with ZACK. That’s it, I’m really going to put a stop to it this time. I won’t let this Satan Spawn drag my beautiful boy down with him.

Well it all worked out in the end. Albert came home depressed today and when I asked him what was wrong he said that it was nothing and everything was fine. Apparently Zack got bored and ditched him, which by proxy meant that the rest of the group also left him. That was it. Don’t get me wrong, I was about to kill that kid when I found out he was just toying with my precious baby’s emotions, but at the same time I’m relieved. Without those terrible influences he can finally focus on being a functioning member of society and becoming the good person I know he can be.

In the meantime, I’ll be writing to the school to have them ‘take care’ of Zack. I have a feeling his cronies won’t be seeing much of him anymore.