June 6th (2022)

Buddy opened his eyes after hearing his alarm go off. With his fingers trembling and heart racing, he pressed ‘Stop’. Rubbing his eyes with his sweaty hands, he tried to remember the nightmare but it quickly faded after six seconds. Ack, what day is it? Disoriented, he checked the date on his iPhone, Saturday, June 6th, 6:00am. 

With a heavy sigh, Buddy swiftly dragged his body to sit up. With a strange nagging of another presence in the bedroom. His blank expression faded as he widely opened his eyes to check his bed. “Hmph, nothing”, he said.

Figuring out what to wear wasn’t a struggle considering every pair of pants and shirt was the exact same, a baby blue-colored long-sleeve button-up shirt and blue jeans. Buddy had a predictable life, waking up at 6:00am every day and eating breakfast at 6:30 on weekdays. Then he worked from home from 7am to 3:30pm with a lunch break at 12:30pm.  He would do the same exact exercises right after work. One hour running on his treadmill, thirty minutes of stretching, and another thirty for push-ups. After he was done working out by half-past five, he would order the same dinner to his apartment to eat at seven along with the same breakfast and lunch for the next day. On the weekends, in place of working he would play the piano and just stare at the city buildings through the glass of the sliding doors to his terrace. 

Since it was Saturday morning, he sat down on the piano stool to play on his grand piano, like he had done every other Saturday for the past six years he lived there. Buddy’s blank expression faded when he didn’t hear the garbage truck that passed by every morning. The city looked completely vacant. The weather was cloudy and overcast. He shivered as he sat back down to play the piano. With his left-hand warning in his pocket, he played the main part of the duet ‘Heart and Soul’. After a few repetitions, as he pressed C in the melody, it was synchronized in a lower octave. A few more repetitions in, he finally noticed that his left hand was still in his pocket and it wasn’t him playing. He quickly stopped and stared at the keys. He thought to himself, I’ve played that song so many times, I can’t help but hear the entirety--It’s second nature. He stared at the glass again and suddenly saw a black foot walk to the left, almost like a person walking off the edge of the terrace. 

Buddy wiped the crust of his eyes in disbelief with his frosted left hand and checked the phone for the time. He washed his hands for ten minutes, intensely scrubbing his hands together and excessively pumping more soap every few seconds. He sat at the kitchen table perpendicular to the front door. He took his knife and slowly cut a donut in six equal size pieces. Before swallowing each piece, he slowly chewed his food until the texture was like a smoothie in his mouth. Right after he finished eating, he heard someone knocking on the door. Buddy heard someone in an enthusiastic high-pitched voice say, “I’m your new neighbor across the hall! I made some chocolate covered strawberries for you”. Buddy’s eyes were wide open and he froze looking like a deer in headlights. In a disappointed yet cheerful voice she said, “Hello? Anyone there?”. A few seconds of silence passed so she said, “Well I’ll leave them right here for you if you can hear me”. Buddy sat there staring at the door long after he heard her leave. After about thirty minutes, he crept slowly to the door, making sure to not creak the wooden planks. Through the peephole, he saw the container of strawberries on the floor. He ran to the kitchen to get plastic gloves. He slammed the door shut after picking it up outside. Could this be poisoned? My apartment on this floor is the closest room to the elevator. Perhaps she is that jealous. He took a quick whiff then threw them in the trash. He washed his hands for twenty minutes using half the bottle. Then remembered he had his yearly doctor's physical that day. As he put on his shoes, he started to sweat and his hands began to shake. He stood in front of the elevator, afraid to step inside it. He thought about taking thirteen flights of stairs but then he might be late for the appointment. His breathing got faster and heavier as he thought about being late for the appointment. Eventually, he hesitantly pressed the down button, stepped in it, and pressed one. Turning around to face the doors, he saw that same black foot through the cracks. It seemed as though it was lurking at each corner.

Buddy was a few minutes late by the time he got to the waiting room. “Buddy Buoy, come with me”, Dr. Hewett said. Buddy sat on the exam table. He heard the door shut and said, “Why did you close the door? Does it lock from the inside?”. Dr. Hewett responded, “No, it’s for privacy that's all”. As she took his blood pressure she asked him about his diet and how often he exercised. 

“One hour running on my treadmill at home, then thirty minutes of stretching, then another thirty minutes doing pushups. I eat every day at 6am, 12:30pm, and 7pm on the dot, same meals every day”. 

“Your blood pressure is perfect and you’re in good shape, as every year. And that’s a nice schedule, are you happy with your life too?”. 

Buddy said in a bland voice, “I am very content with my schedule”. 

“Well Mr. Buoy, you are very organized for a 26-year-old”, she said. 

Buddy got to his apartment building quicker than normal since there was strangely no traffic. No city lights were on near his house either. He walked up the thirteen flights of stairs. Every so often he heard footsteps behind him and when he checked behind him. No one was there of course, because no one in their right mind would choose to take thirteen flights of stairs instead of easily stepping inside an elevator--But that was the way Buddy was. Either way, it would take the same amount of time with his hesitation to even enter. 

He unlocked his door but then the new neighbor shouted, “Hi I’m Pattie your new neighbor! Nice to meet you, what’s your name?”. 

“Why do you want to know my name?”, Buddy spoke, irritated. 

“I wanted to introduce myself. Did you like the chocolate strawberries I made you?”. 

“I threw it in the trash. It’s still there if you want it back. Don’t worry, nothing else is in the trash with it. I didn’t touch them either”. 

Her smile faded a little but it came back when she said, “Oh no thank you. Well nice to meet you!”. Buddy looked her right in the eye and said, “Don’t give me anything else, I don’t owe you anything, you don’t owe me anything”. 

By the time he stepped into his apartment, it was already one o’clock. His knees dropped to the floor and he put his head in his knees and hands over his head when he realized he didn’t eat lunch at 12:30. He pleaded, “What have I done?! If only I got on the elevator I could have been home at 12:20. If only I didn’t run into Pattie I could have been home at 12:30. Should I eat now or wait until 7? If I eat now will I be too full for dinner? If I eat now and eat at 7 will my body explode from eating too much? Should I eat now and eat at 7:30 instead? Or should I skip lunch and eat at 7 like normal? But then I won’t be ordering the same meal tonight. If I skip lunch will the food go bad and I’ll die of toxicity? Will this mess up my whole life?”. In no time, he was rolling on the floor crying and screaming the sentences over and over again. Time got away from him and it was pitch black outside. He couldn’t even decide whether to eat or not. Halfway through his words, he felt a buzz in his pocket. An unknown number with the number +1 (369) 968-4663 texted him a picture of him rolling on the floor screaming. The picture looked like it was taken from outside his terrace. 

Buddy wrote, “Who are you?! What’s your name?”. 

“Why do you want to know my name?”, it said. 

“I don’t know who you are or what you have against me, but leave me alone! What do you want from me?!”. 

“I want what you don’t want for yourself”, it said. 

All of the sudden, the lights flickered on and off. He dropped his phone and it shattered. The hairs on his arms were straight up and his button-up shirt was stained with sweat. Then the lights turned off for the first time in six years. You could see nothing but black. 

He screamed hysterically, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”. 

An unhallowed masculine voice spoke, “Come to my voice”. 

“T-that would be suicide!”, Buddy said in a quavery. 

“You can’t die if you never lived”. 

Buddy’s voice went from fear to anger, “WHAT IN THE DEVIL DOES THAT MEAN?”.

“You seem afraid of me. For six years you have done nothing else but praise me”. 

“WHO ARE YOU? W-WHAT ARE YOU?”

“My name is Pavor and I’m your own paranoia. You think I’m the only thing that keeps you alive. Now, come to my voice”. 

Oddly enough, Buddy felt compelled to walk towards the voice coming from the terrace. He bumped into the sliding doors and fell over. “AH”, he screamed because he had never been remotely close to the terrace from the fear of falling. The doors slid open and he felt the presence of an intimidating figure standing next to him. Pavor said softly, “You need to jump”

Bursting out in tears Buddy hollered, “But I don’t want to die!”

“You fool can’t you see? Buddy, you aren’t living”

“How do you know my name?”

“You created me a long time ago because you thought I would protect you. But in reality, I keep you from living and I only keep you surviving. I refuse to steal your time any longer. You are so afraid of dying that you are unable to live. I want you to kill me. Jump off the terrace and I’ll protect you as you created me to”.

Buddy was silent for a few seconds trying to process what he heard then said, “Why on Earth should I listen to you?”. A cold hand wrapped around his neck. Pavor held Buddy over the terrace and said, “You failed again. You may think you’ve lived here for six years but you’ve been dying here for centuries”. Pavor let go.

As Buddy was falling he only thought about dying at that moment. He didn’t feel regret or guilt, he had no consideration about what Pavor said, only feeling sorrow for his ruptured weekly routine. His life didn’t flash before his eyes because he never had one. He succeeded in staying dead in a completely safe neighborhood, he cheated life. He closed his eyes just before he saw the ground hurtling closer.

Buddy opened his eyes after hearing his alarm go off. With his fingers trembling and heart racing, he pressed Stop. Rubbing his eyes with his sweaty hands, he tried to remember the nightmare but it quickly faded away after a few seconds. Disoriented, he checked the date on his iPhone, Saturday, June 6th, 6:00am.