Mother

Disclaimer: Vague descriptions of dead bodies.

Mother said we ran out of time and that we needed to keep quiet. Her voice was frail and raspy when she told us that thirty minutes ago, even a little out of breath. There was fear in her eyes but mother never feared anything. The only time I ever saw that kind of fear was three years ago.

Now her screams could be heard from down the basement. It was not really a basement since it was deeper down than a normal one. The house didn't have a basement when we moved in a year ago. It was the time when grandpa was sick and he was on his last minutes of life. Mother moved half-way across the country just to look after him. She said that if it was her, he would do the same for her. There was no basement back then, there was no place to hide back then but mother made a plan like she always does. She made sure that we had everything we needed and the basement was one of them. 

The basement didn't really have walls. It was a muddy mess with some cement rubbed all over them. Our names were scratched on the wall too and next to each name was a handprint like we needed to stamp out existence to these walls to make sure that we were really there. Mother never approved of us doing this but she let us anyway. I could see in her eyes that she knew that it was the only thing we could do that made us feel important, to make us feel like we belonged here. It was almost like stamping this place as a home and it did after we put our names and handprint on the wall. The first time mother saw it there were tears in her eyes but she did not shed any of them. All she did was move her hands across the words and the handprints. Then she turned to me and told me that I shouldn't have done it. She said that our existence needed to be kept a secret. That it was a way to protect us but something in me made me scream at her. Made me tell her all my burdens and pain, and somehow she just nodded and told me that it was okay. I wished she hugged me that time. I wanted her to hug me so badly. I needed her comfort but all she did was stand there and stare at the wall with our names on it. That was six months ago. 

I wince every time I hear her screams. I hear the whimpers after the screams stop then it would start all over again. I wanted to climb the ladder up to her but she told us to be quiet. She told us to stay down in the basement and not leave until she comes back down. This has happened before. It was three years ago, and like now, it happened like this as well. It was only me back then. Mother only protected me back then, the others only came after we left that place. It was only the two of us and mother was not as paranoid as she is now back then. She screamed like this back then too but they left after they could not find anything. They tossed the house, everything was not in their place, and broke anything they could get their hands on. When I came back to the room where mother was in, she laid curled up on the floor mumbling something I couldn't understand. I never saw them back then like I haven't seen them this time. I wish my mother never told me to stay here. I wish I could disobey her instructions and help her. But I knew better. I knew that she didn’t want them to know about us and take us away from her. 

The screams stop and I look up. The whimpers start all over again and then footsteps can be heard over my head. There was scraping too as though they were pulling something heavy across the floor. The voices are muffled and then the screams start all over again. My eyes burn with tears but they do not fall. Mother always said that it is a weakness. To show your tears to anyone is a weakness that they will use against you. She always told us not to show anyone our weakness, we needed to be strong. For most part I followed her instructions. I wanted to be just like her, strong. But when she looks at us with so much hurt and disappointment, I cannot help myself but give in to the tears. Then she would walk away which makes me sob even harder than before. Right now though, I need to be strong for my mother. 

I look up to the house once again and don't hear any sound coming from up there. Mother was not screaming. There were no muffled noises or footsteps but I did hear a door open. My gaze immediately looked at the ladder. I can hear it groan under someone’s weight. I see mother first then a tall man, in black, is behind her. Mother looks at me with tears running down her face.

"We've run out of time..." the rest of her words lost to the sobs that took over her body.

"Mother, what do you..."

I am cut off when the light goes on. I close my eyes at the sudden light trying to adjust to it but it takes time before I can open  my eyes.

"Freya, what have you done?" The man's voice is soft almost like a whisper but rough as well, and a part of me should know who he is but there are no memories, only feelings.

"We've run out of time!" Mother shouts through her sobs.

"Freya, who are you talking to?" Mother is looking at me while the man is looking around him. Then he stops and looks at me but his eyes don't focus on me but rather something behind me.

I turn as the man walks past me and sees myself sleeping. Mother told me that it wasn't really me but a doll that looks like me. A very blue doll that is always sleeping. Next to the me-doll are the others. We are all lined up in a row and all of us are sleeping.

The man falls to his knees and grabs the me-doll in his arms. He sobs and screams a name that should be familiar to me but once again there were no memories, only feelings.