“No funny business, mate. Put your hands up, and walk away from the control panel.”
“You finally made it, Jonathan. I was beginning to wonder if you’d even show up at all.”
“So you’ve heard of me, huh? Jonathan’s a little formal, but I’ll allow it- long as you step away from the button. If you know who I am, you oughta know just what I’ll do if you don’t hurry and do as I say.”
“You don’t recognize me, do you? Not even a little.”
“‘Fraid not. And even if I did, it wouldn’t change what I gotta do. You’re the last person stopping me from shutting this whole thing down, and suffice to say I’m extra motivated to get this job done. It ain’t a lot, but I got a few too many people I like on this big blue planet for me to let you kill ‘em all off with a single button.”
“You think I want to kill everyone?”
“Are you telling me this rocket isn’t about to turn 90 percent of the planet braindead?”
“That’s… technically right, but it barely covers half of what the Divine Tuning is meant to do.”
“...You know what? Go ahead; I’ll bite. What exactly is this Divine Tuning you’re so gung-ho about? None of your sub-commanders out there were willing to say a thing about it.”
“The Divine Tuning is a three-step process. We launch this rocket, and it will orbit the planet in two rotations. As it does so, it will broadcast a special message into everyone’s cybernetic ID chips- the ones placed in their heads at birth. It will make digital copies of their brains- every memory, thought, and word- and upload them through the rocket, into satellites, and from there they will be sent to a series of supercomputers spread across the solar system.”
“...Right. Tell me, why shouldn't I just shoot you now? Cut this whole crazy scheme off at the source, and avoid any chance of it starting up again somewhere else?”
“Firstly, because a failsafe has been embedded into my heart- if it stops, the rocket will launch regardless.”
“Crap.”
“And second… because we have known each other for a long time, even if you don’t realize it yet. And it’d be a shame for our reunion to end as tragically as this.”
“What, are you saying we grew up in the same neighborhood or something?”
“As a matter of fact, I am.”
“Even as a joke, that ain’t funny. News flash to you, douchebag- everyone who knew me more than 15 years ago is dead.”
“Not everyone. Just, hear me out- before I was adopted by the late Reverend O’Farrell, my name was Zachary.”
“Zachary? As in-”
“Zachary Harris, yes. Like the boy who grew up three doors down from you. When we went into the forest together, we saw a dead deer with its leg twisted in four directions.”
“How do you know that? I’ve never told that story to anyone.”
“Because it’s me, Johnny. You got cybernetics and changed your name to Johnny Steel, I was adopted and had my name changed to Zephaniah. Zephaniah O’Farrell.”
“Zachary to Zephaniah… Wait, even before that- you’re Zephaniah O’Farrell? The hidden third sibling? When we asked your sisters, they said they had no idea who was running this thing.”
“Because they were in on it from the start. Aurora works in aerospace, and Angela in biotech- they were the ones who made all this possible. They just wiped their own memories before they went into the investigation.”
“They never even mentioned you!”
“They think I’m a family friend who killed himself out of grief over their father’s murder.”
“His murder- was that the reason you started all this? Because your father was murdered, and you never found out who did it?”
“You’re not seeing the big picture, Johnny. I grew up with you- I was there, on that day, in the middle of the fire. Remember?”
“The last time I saw you, you were running into your burning house. And then it collapsed.”
“Exactly. I survived, but my windpipe was almost completely crushed. I could hear you pleading to the man who organized the fire. I could do nothing but listen to your screams, as you were tossed into a burning building because someone with power couldn’t find it in themselves to care.”
“...”
“By the time I was rescued, I had third degree burns. It took me a year to get enough skin grafts and implants to look human again, but the only person willing to adopt me was an elderly woman with two grandsons that hated her. One of them killed her trying to get extra inheritance money, and the other didn’t even show up to the funeral.”
“The only reason Mr. O’Farrell took me after that was because the hospital director told his wife about me. He eventually warmed up to me, but by that point a crime boss was trying to get in his pockets. He refused, and guess what? They killed him for it.”
“I’ve lost family three times over, Johnny. Not because people wouldn’t do the right thing- because there were people who couldn’t resist doing the wrong thing. Repentance is well and good, but you know what’s better? Never doing the crime in the first place!”
“And that’s how you came up with this?”
“That’s how we came up with this: Me, Aurora, and Angela. This was all three of us, working together for a decade, using everything we could find and talking to everyone we could. And now, our goal is finally going to come true.”
“...Zach, you used to be a pretty cool kid. You know that?”
“And you used to have all your limbs. We both know how cruel life can be.”
“Well jeez, yeah, but like. We also know how kind people can be. The scientist who put me back together was a great guy, and so were all the people who took you in, from the sound of it. I’ve seen thousands of people on my bounty hunts the past dozen years. There’s lots of powerful people out there who do awful stuff, but there’s also millions of people who try to do something good every single day. The little guys.”
“For an internationally feared mercenary, that’s sickeningly sweet.”
“Says the guy who grew up to be a literal cult leader! I’m trying to be serious here!”
“It’s not a cult-”
“That’s what every cult leader would say! And unlike most of them, you’re actively trying to destroy the world right now!”
“I’m not trying to destroy the world, I’m trying to fix it! Did you not hear what I was saying about the Divine Tuning?! All your arguments are just proving my point.”
“Then let me ask you this- what’s gonna happen to all the bodies left on Earth when their brains stop working? Some of them are outside fighting each other right now. Some of them are driving to or from work, some of them are riding in planes. Some of them are hiking, climbing, or swimming- they gonna fall or drown?”
“One of the settings in the Divine Tuning program is to wait until a moment where the person seems to be safe before uploading their brains into the system.”
“And if it seems like they’re safe but they really aren’t?”
“...You’re cherry-picking.”
“It’s a real situation that actually would’ve happened if you hit that button! There’s no program in the world that works perfectly every single time! Especially on the first try!”
“But it’s not our first try! We did multiple test runs with several small groups- all of them completely willing. It worked fine, and people returned to their bodies completely safe once the test was done!”
“Sounds like you’re ignoring the issue- wait. What’s that sound?”
“I do believe that’s the rocket, preparing to begin the Divine Tuning.”
“What?! But you- you were just stalling for time, weren’t you?”
“If it makes you feel better, everything I told you was the truth. It’s just that Aurora and Angela both have their own backdoors to the rocket launch. Even if I didn’t do it, one of them would.”
“There’s gotta be something I can do… Dang it!”
“I think that’s checkmate. It was good to see you again, Jonathan- we can talk more once the Divine Tuning is complete. In fact, I daresay we’ll have all the time in the world.”
“You know… I think you’re right. I think we will have all the time in the world.”
“My sisters are calling me… what did you do, Johnny?”
“I figured it out. I can’t stop the rocket, and I can’t stop the machine. But I can change the coordinates, and this thing is only built to fire once.”
“You localized the beam?!”
“Yep- right in this building. The only people who are gonna get ‘Tuned’ are you and me, Zach. I’m gonna learn all about you, and you’re gonna learn all about me- and that’s all it’ll ever be.”
“...I hate you, Johnathan.”
“That’s okay, Zach. We’ve got all the time in the world to talk it out.”
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