Not now; not ever

      The winding dirt road is harsh on my bare feet. But I can’t turn back, not now; not ever. I hear the engine come alive just up the path at my house. Panic sets in. Sure, I’ve been running for five minutes but it won’t take long for that truck to catch up. It’s risky, however it’s my only option. I steer off the beaten path and into the forest surrounding me. It’s darker somehow. More daunting. I feel claustrophobic. My back is pressing against a tree trunk as I try to catch my breath a bit. Not being active for a couple years and then doing a full sprint is wrecking my lungs. If I make it out of this, I promise I’ll start working out.

           I picked the worst time to do this—middle of Fall. Why didn’t I do it sooner? My feet are somehow freezing and on fire at the same time. They’re covered in blood and mud. And so are my hands. My mom would be livid if she saw me right now. But I shouldn’t be thinking of her. I should be focusing on the truck that’s closing in. I’m still too close to the driveway and too close to the house. He’ll be pulling up to where I am any minute now.

           The trees are creaking in the wind as I wedge myself under a fallen one. I can hear the truck getting closer. It’s almost parallel to me. My Father won’t be happy if he finds me. I’ll definitely be grounded—maybe even for a whole month. No, what I did needed to be done. And it cannot be undone. I will not let him punish me. He’s selfish just like mom.

           The truck passes by slowly. I wait until I can’t hear it at all and climb out from under the log. If I can make it to the main road I can get out of here. My friend Aiden said he’d wait for me. We never planned what we’d do after, just that we would run away and never look back.

           I trip on a loose rock crashing to the ground. My ankle is killing me but I must carry on. Even though my chest hurts I run. Not as fast as I was earlier. But I don’t have the initial adrenaline. I believe the road is not too far from here. Just a four minute drive. I got about ten minutes until I can be completely free. Free from my mother and father and free from that house.

           The forest is thinning and there are very evident flashing red and blue lights. Are they here to help me get away? I slow to a walk and curiously leave the tree line. My eyes scan the area and I’m met with five police officers lowering their guns. They’re calling to me. The voices are muffled, I can barely understand them. My body feels weird, almost like I’m floating. The world around me spins so fast that I crash down. Someone’s hands are around me. The cold fingers wrap around my arms and tug me off the ground. They’re still talking but I am not picking up any of the words. We pass by one of the cop cars and I see Aiden in the back of it. I try to reach out for him but my hands are restrained in handcuffs.

           “What’s going on?” My hoarse voice calls to anyone. When I speak I like a knife is cutting up my vocal cords.

           “Evie Barr, you are under arrest for the murder of Antoinette Barr and attempted murder of William Barr…” the officer then drones on about Rights but I’m already gone… The murder of Antoinette, I didn’t murder her. I set myself free.

           “Hey mom, I love you.” I watch her run around the kitchen, preparing dinner. We would be eating my favourite tonight. But I guess dinner will have to wait. Oh well.

           “I love you too baby,” she doesn’t look up. If only she had. I would’ve been able to see the light leave her eyes after I pulled the trigger.

           The officer shoves me into the backseat of his car and that’s when I spot him. My father is parked at the intersection. He stares at me. I can’t help but look away. But I hear it. The infamous sound that cured me of having to be contained by my mother. I glance back up and there’s blood spatter adorning his windshield. What a coward. I guess I won’t need to fix that problem.

           Hours go by, I’m cleaned up and staring at the two-way mirror. I can’t see them but I know they’re watching me. It doesn’t take long for them to come in. She sits across from me. “Why did you do it Evie?”

           “I needed to get out of there.”

           “Why did you?”

           “I just wanted to. There’s no rhyme or reason Officer. I just wanted to run away with Aiden. Where is he?”

           “Did your family ever hurt you Evie?” The quietness of the room bothers me. I’m used to having people around. Is this how it will be like forever? Being alone? She cuts through the silence yet again, repeating her stupid question. But I don’t answer I don’t even look at her. I stand the gap between her teeth or her squealy voice. “Did they?”

           “My family wouldn’t hurt a fly. Not physically. You want to know how they hurt me? They made people think they were these pretentious, know-it-all people. Both working at the high school I go to. They made my life a living hell by not letting me make my own friends. They made it their life’s mission to make me an outcast.” The words rush out and I don’t even know if they’re making any sense but I just want this to be over with.

           “But they never laid a hand on you?”

           “No! Not now; not ever!”