THE BEAR WARNING

THE BEAR WARNING

Peter  rushed into the building. He was already late for the appointment he had with Lady Zarlic, also known as the Tsarina, who was waiting for him on the 17^th floor.  There were three elevators in that building of fifty floors. As soon as Peter came in the entrance, he noticed , with a glance to their red light, that two of them  were going up. So he headed for the third, which had a green light.  It was only  when he reached out and he was about to press the button to call the elevator that Peter noticed that one, which looked like a big bear, but it didn’t have to be a bear,  since it spoke with a human voice. That one, which had the appearance of a brown bear, appeared suddenly before him. That….big brown bear , standing upright on its  hind legs, patted him on the shoulder with one of his forelegs , and said : “ PLEASE, DON’T DO IT” He, Peter, who was already late for the appointment he had with the Tsarina____and it was a truly important, decisive appointment for his future, for his life, didn’t think even a moment , didn’t hesitate a bit to press the button and to get on the elevator , as soon as the door opened. The bear, or, rather, the one which looked like a bear, had time to slap him on the shoulder, just while the elevator door was closing____thus revealing an agility, a speed of movements that a bear would ( could) not have. And that strange beast , also said, almost shouting, him , in a human voice: “ Nooo! It’s better if you don’t get up to the 17^th floor! But why don’t you want to listen to me?” Peter, without paying the slightest attention to what that…kind of bear was shouting at him, just a little irritated, as soon as he  got into the elevator, he pressed the button for the 17^th floor. The elevator, which just began to go up,  jumped and  suddenly stopped with a BANG. The door opened with a screeching , and THOSE TWO who ( that ) entered the elevator, oh, it was hard to say who, or what they were. One looked like a bear, a white bear, the other a  wild boar. They both stood upright on their hind legs , a position that, with other details, made Peter think  that , but of course, they had to be two people who had disguised themselves one as a white bear and one as a hairy wild boar, perhaps not to be recognized. Those two, which seemed two big beasts, began to press all the buttons on the wall of the elevator cab, that had stopped going (up) and kept bouncing. “ But what are you doing, by God? Oh, I have to go to the 17^th floor, oh, and I’m already late!” Peter shouted angrily, even anguished, while he tried to approach the elevator buttons.  ( keys). Those two, now really with the movements  and the strength too of big beasts, threw him to the ground ( knocked him down) and trampled on him too, with their big paws. Now it seemed to him ( Peter) that those two were really a bear and a wild boar. Maybe they were trained animals, maybe they had escaped from a circus or a zoo, he thought ( he came to think).But, what strange, yet they spoke with a very human voice. Oh, but then perhaps it wasn’t those two beasts, which had knocked him down , and that were still trampling him, it wasn’t they who were speaking, this ( it) was the thought that flashed through  Peter’s mind.

“ It’s completely useless for you to go to the 17^th floor, darling! She, the Czarina is not waiting for you at all, baby” , the bear said, in a soft, but persuasive human voice, giving him a kick in the abdomen . “ Oh, and instead Lady Zarlic is waiting for me, I assure you! I have an appointment with her! I’m already late for my appointment! Please, let me go!” Peter shouted.

“ Ahah! Are you hearing Tom? “ The white bear asked, snorting. “ Our mama’s boy had an appointment with the Czarina! Ah! Ah! Ah! Just a fool this poor jerk!”  “ Let me go, please! I pray you!” Pete begged, in pain, with a painful voice, while the bear and the wild boar kept stepping on him. “ Oh, but he is even pathetic, our Pietr Il’ic Cajkovskij!” the wild boar said, speaking in a bass voice. “ But WHY do you call me Pietr Il’ic Cajkovskij, eh? I’m not Cajkovoskij….I ‘m Peter, Peter Brown “ he protested. “ Ah, of course ….you aren’t Pietr Il’ic Cajkovskij….But  we know that you want to make a film about Cajkovskij. And Why are you so interested in that pimp of Cajkovskij, eh?  Maybe because he’s  homosexual like you?” The bear asked , with a mocking voice, while the big wild boar had started laughing, with its mouth wide open, that it  seemed ( looked like) he was about to eat someone.  “ Yes, it’s true that I’m going to make a film about Pietr Il’ic Cajkovskij. Yeah, and I have to see ( to meet) Lady Zarlic , who will finance ( produce) my film” Peter said, with a painful voice, and nevertheless, with pride. “ Oh, please, let me go! The appointment with Lady Zarlic is  of paramount importance for me! I could say it’s a matter of life and  death!” Peter shouted. “ But you look at this poor fool He thinks he convinces us, even moves us, continuing to repeat that he has an appointment with that big Lady of the Tsarina! Do you know ( it) or not, pathetic of a Cajkovskij WHO is the Tsarina? Eh, do you know?” The bear yelled at Peter, kicking him, while the wild boar kept laughing, and his was just as a human laugh, albeit very much coarse. “ Of course, I know….She is Lady Zarlic…she is a very rich, but even cultured noblewoman, a very lover of art….she is…” Peter managed to say, sighing in pain. “Ahahaaa ! A noblewoman! Ahahaaaa! It isn’t at all because she is a noblewoman, that she is called the Tsarina! On, you too must know that!” The bear shouted at him, but he, Peter, now could not speak anymore. He was so much bruised, stunned too, by their trampling on him , and their kicking him. Oh, but those two, were they really beasts? He kept wondering. “ Your Lady Zarlic, she is called the Tsarina because she is the widow, yeah, very rich, of a Russian oligarch ! It can be said that he was the richest of all the Russian oligarchs ! “ The bear yelled, jumping on Peter, lying on the ground , all sore and stunned.   “ And our friend here should even know that the Tsarina’s husband officially committed suicide, but everyone knows he was killed! As everyone knows that she was the one who killed him, the Lady Tsarina ! who became very rich only with her husband’s death!   Yes, if she hadn’t become a widow, your dear Tsarina, she could have been noble, but she didn’t have the beak of a penny, your dear Tsarina! “  The wild boar roared, in his deep bass voice, leaning over Peter and rubbing his face with his fangs.

 By now Peter no longer was able to think about his appointment with the Tsarina.  He rather was thinking that this was his end. But, even he was in a very bad condition, he was still conscious.  So he could recognize her, the Tsarina, when she appeared on the open elevator door.  She was beautiful, she was wearing a fairytale dress. Oh, but WHY, instead of wearing them, she was holding in his hands her very elegant shoes, with a very long stiletto heel? “ Boys, my dear boys, aren’t you finished yet? “ The Lady Tsarina asked, in her chirping voice. “ Ah, come on, you have to hurry “ She said, smiling to the bear and the wild boar.  “ I have already prepared everything for the funeral of this great friend of mine, alas , poor darling, so much unfortunate .  Oh, he will have a magnificent funeral, this young director, to whom I would have financed his first work ( film) “ While the bear and the wild boar kept trampling him and kicking him, also she, the Tsarina, came up Peter , and she started  to  striking Peter with the stiletto heel of her very elegant shoes.