Grab The Brass Ring

GRAB THE BRASS RING

“You bloody ass hole! How dare you call me?” Liz couldn’t believe that Dan, her ex-husband, would have the nerve to call her. But what was even worse, was how he knew that she hadn’t bothered to renew the no contact order. It was three years to the day, since the judge had banged his gavel, and ended the worst marriage in history.

 “Please just listen to me Liz! Don’t hang-up! All I want is a few minutes of your time, and then if you still want it, I’ll get out of your life forever!” After almost 10 years of being married to this She-Devil, Dan knew how much pleading it would take to get her to listen.

He hadn’t heard the click of her cutting him off, so he went on carefully. “Once upon a time, there was a very special team. Even the Times said that we were the best they’d ever seen.” At this point he paused, because the 5’7” mouth would be champing at the bit to get her own in on him again.

Liz had always hated how he patronized her, but he had a point. As she gazed across the room to her small kitchen, and the tiny bird waiting to be put in the oven, she couldn’t help but remember their first meal together. Even now it could almost give her indigestion, and a warm smile. “Get to the point you little weasel!” It was like you had to keep his mind on what he was doing. Then again, some of the times when his mind wandered were the best times in their life.

Dan knew that he deserved that quip. “I have absolutely no problems in admitting that our break-up was my fault, but you weren’t there when I needed you.” Oops, wrong thing to say!

“You know bloody well where I was. You were always invisible! I was the one who had to smile for hours on end.” She was right and she knew it.

Dan’s voice lowered. “I know that Caret, and I don’t know how to make up for it. I should have just volleyed until you could get back into the game.”

As much as she wanted to fight, she was softening. “If you think that I’ll fall under your spell again by using our old pet names, you’ve got another think coming!”

Dan only had one hope left. “I know now that I never should have crossed courts, and if I knew then what I know now, I would have tied my shoelaces together! I didn’t know how good I had it.”

Liz was really softening now, but so much water had passed under the bridge. “Ok I’ll accept your apology, but what do you want now. I don’t see how we can recapture the old feelings and write a new future.”

It was time for Dan to make his big play. “Have you heard about the tournament?”

Liz nearly choked on her drink. “You’re kidding right? It’s been three years! Well actually, it’s been five. We never accomplished anything in the last two years of our marriage. I guess maybe that was the real start to our problems.” She had completely forgotten about the no contact order now.

Dan jumped on that thought. “First prize is a million dollars in gold, and you know that at one time,…” The silence on the other end gave him more courage. “We were good together weren’t we?”

Liz laughed out loud. “We were bloody great! Ok, so maybe we weren’t the best, but we never had anything to complain about. Do you really think we could somehow reform that old team spirit?”

Dan went for it. “I think we can do even better than that. I think that this time we can make number one. Come-on, go for the brass ring just one more time.”

Liz was quiet for a moment, and then suddenly she just said; “I’ll get back to you!” And with that said, she hung-up.

Dan had to wonder if he had lost his only chance. He had really hoped that she wouldn’t take the time to think about it.

Liz had caught on at the last second. “He almost had me there! He always was a smooth talker!” Hearing herself utter those words made her think back.

They had met at the fair. She was standing watching the kids on the Merry-Go-Round, and remembering the days when she used to chase the brass ring. If you could grab that elusive ring and not fall off your pony, you would win another turn for free.

When she was a child, every fair had it, but now-a-days, it was extremely rare. Too many children had been hurt.

When she heard someone coming up behind, she spun around quickly. Perhaps it was too quickly, because she slipped. If he hadn’t been so agile, she could have seriously hurt herself.

“Exactly the way I planned it!” He gave her an amazing smile. “A simple task, but the prize is worth it. The winner gets the most beautiful woman on Earth, to fall right into his arms.”

Liz knew that there was no way to plan something like that, but it sure was a great opening line. “Pardon me Sir, I thought I might just drop in to meet you.” One good line deserved another, and even now it made her laugh at the corniness!

They had dined together that evening on footlong hot dogs, corn dogs, and cotton candy. Thus the heartburn she’d alluded to earlier. And so began the teamwork that would sometimes be referred to as monumental.

Suddenly that Cornish hen didn’t look so tasty. All Liz wanted right now, was a hot dog and some cotton candy!

On the other hand though, Dan was remembering a different time in their lives. As the fame kicked in, their lives started to grow apart. There were times when she would be in London, and he would be in New York. Or he might be in Los Angeles, and her in Paris.

The publishers and especially their agent, were merciless. Finally on one particular book signing, a reporter asked him what his favorite book was. Dan looked directly into the camera and stated a fact. “If Only Sex Was Bloody Well Real!”

Yes, Dan and Liz were a team of writers, who were also husband and wife. Together they were near the top of all lists, but individually, they couldn’t write a thank you note.

No matter how much they tried to downplay it, the stigma was there. They wrote romance novels, but obviously they didn’t have any in their own life.

Their agent hung on to get the last possible commissions, but the publisher ran for the forest like a coyote caught in the hen house.

The divorce proceedings followed shortly after, with Liz hoping to salvage something out of this mess. Unfortunately there wasn’t much left to save. No agent, no publisher, as a matter of fact, no one would touch anything they wrote.

Suddenly the strangest thing that Dan could imagine happened. His phone rang.

“Ok. But we’ll do it my way! The book will be called, ‘If Only Sex Was Bloody Well Real’, and you’ll keep your mouth shut in public. You will however not obey that restriction when we’re writing. I need your quips so that mine make sense!” She paused for a minute, and Dan decided not to interrupt. “I’ve heard that you’re living in a rough area. My place isn’t big, but you can have the second bedroom. I own a gun!”

Now Dan decided to talk. “What can I bring with me?”

As Liz was speaking, Dan could hear the giggle. “Bring whatever you need, but especially your sense of humor. And for God’s sake, bring me a hot dog and cotton candy!”

Dan and Liz didn’t win the million dollar prize, but they did win a new publishing contract, and a new lease on life.

They each grabbed the ring, but it was Golden, and this time they promised to hold it close to their heart forever.

The End