Like the Movies

Potentially sensitive content: brief allusions to drinking, intoxication, language, and sexual activity

Jenna woke up at 6am like it was the perfect day. She cleaned herself in a dingy dorm shower, listening to bubbly pop music. Her adult braces showed as she smiled in the mirror, donning a pair of straight-cut blue jeans and a colorful t-shirt, both generic brands. She brushed out her long, straight hair and added a thin layer of makeup to her face. Looking at herself, she saw Andie Anderson, Carrie Bradshaw, or Holly Golightly. She even walked campus to the student union cafeteria as if she were one of them on their way to work or walking the big city.

Jenna was home-schooled by loving parents with strict, conservative ideals. Their hand in her learning held a lot of her hobbies and entertainment too: wanting her to grow up active, productive, and away from trouble, they encouraged, if not prodded, her to partake in physical activities and build practical skills, anything that kept her from extensive, idle use of the idiot boxes. Even when they gave her the privilege of watching something, the selections they gave her were heavy on educational, spiritual, or moral values. She even didn't see a PG-13  Hollywood movie until she was sixteen and that was to some extent an accident. 

She was on her own at a department store one day when a rom-com film on the tv sets caught her attention. The male and female leading roles were bantering and just a few moments later, passionately kissing. It sparked something in her personally, a curiosity and longing. Without knowing much more of the context, Jenna could tell this was an important moment in the story and she stopped what she was doing to watch the rest of it, the lip-locking sequence filling every tall, wide, LED screen on display.

 She asked a store associate the name of the movie when it was over and asked her parents about it when she got home to which they were vehemently opposed. She had never thought much of her parents' sway over her media consumption until that point but felt they were going overboard with their reactions. However, she had to drop the subject after a stern warning, but she still pursued it as quietly as she could. To her, rom-coms became a glittery peek into an adult world: beautiful, grown women who had careers, friends, their own homes, a man or two that they kissed, maybe even married. Even ones with teenage characters highlighted a life totally unlike her own. They made her imagine her own independent life being like things she saw in the movies and now she was in her early days of college campus life, watching her movies more freely and listening to rom-com soundtracks as if her life was about to be one.  

All day long, she'd hoped to have that one moment, the “meet-cute moment”, some might call it. She and an adorable classmate both reach for the same tongs at the salad bar. A football or Frisbee lands at her feet so she might have the chance to talk to a jock. She gets assigned a handsome, intelligent lab partner or tutor.  But in reality, health regulations required that cafeteria staff manage the serving utensils instead of the students. More Frisbees and footballs flew into her rather than in front of her and, at best, players only shouted an apology for any injury. 

Then, her lab class had an odd number of students and she ended up in a group with two other girls, Alicia and Adrienne, sorority sisters with their eyes constantly on parties and social life. As the more studious between the three of them, Jenna ended up doing most of the work. They didn’t have much in common; granted, her sheltered history made her stand out against most social groups and she learned early on her approach to classwork made her a minority too. She was book-smart but socially awkward. 

She didn’t mind most of the time, but there was buzz about a campus party weekend that started to distract her. On her way to breakfast and class, she passed various fliers promoting events, venue areas were in some state of set-up, and of course, everyone was talking about it. Maybe she’d have a meet-cute at a party. 

“I’d like to go,” Jenna admitted out of the blue. Her lab partners turned to her with blank stares. 

“...to a party tonight,” She felt the need to clarify. 

“Oh-kay...” one of them said slowly.

“Would you mind if I tagged along with you?” Jenna continued, “I’d hate to show up by myself.” 

The sorority sisters exchanged perplexed looks before answering. “Um...sure...” 

“Great!” Jenna responded excitedly, “When and where are we going to meet to get ready?” 

“We’re actually busy all day, so we can just meet you at the party.” A sister answered flatly. 

“Oh,” Jenna deflated a little, “Ok. See you there!” 

She hurried back to her dorm after classes, psyching herself up for the big night. Dancing, games, food, music, boys. She turned up her pop music while getting ready, a makeover montage playing in her mind. After her classes, she psyched herself up for the big night, her pop music on while she went through her closet and put on her makeup. A makeover montage in her mind.  She settled on wearing a  long, straight blue jean skirt, a bright generic crewneck tee, several pieces of jewelry, a little more makeup, and a headband. She left her place channeling her rom-com heroines again.

Arriving took the wind out of her sails though. The fact didn’t occur to her that the advertised parties were all on the block of frat and sorority houses. At least three neighboring houses were bursting with people, music, and noise, their yards littered with trash, lost clothes, and a few bodies doing things that made Jenna feel uncomfortable. 

She stood frozen solid in the middle of the road before the lots, toying with her hair and jewelry as she debated on what to do. All this was too much, but she told her classmates she’d meet them here. Would they understand if she backed out? Was it possible to become any more of a social pariah? 

She had to get out of the street before she could weigh the options. A huge pizza delivery arrived for one of the houses and the courier assumed she was their watch for it.

“Delivery for Phi Tau Lambada...” The courier hopped out of the driver's seat.

“Oh, no I’m not...” Jenna shook her hands, trying to deny any association with the scene, but the courier thought she was opening them to receive the party’s twenty hot pie boxes before driving off. She sighed as she was left in the dust. Nobody from the houses even seemed to notice. She had to finish the delivery herself. At least she picked up a little Greek from all the intellectual micromanaging her parents did, so she could make out the appropriate house sign. 

“Hhheyyyyy! P-hizzasss heeerre!” She thought she was still somehow a ghost even upon entering the crowded house until the blithe voice possibly under intoxication announced the presence of food. She hoped the hosts didn’t mind the few pizzas disappearing from her person right then and there. Several more were claimed as she trudged through the crowd, intending on leaving them in the dining room or kitchen. 

After several minutes of shuffling around people and furniture and she finally spied some table space. But little did she know she intruded on a pong table and the game was close. The ball bounced off the stack of fourteen remaining pizzas and disappeared into the crowds. One half of the table claimed it as a victory while the other half groaned, possibly for the loss of the ball as well as the game.  She caught a glimpse of Alicia on the losing side of the table, returning a look of disgust. Nervous, Jenna glanced around and backed away.

 She slunked into the kitchen but got caught in the middle of exploding beer keg dispensers. Everyone around laughed but Jenna just felt humiliated and out of place. Wet, sticky, and her head low, she hoped she could clean up a little before ducking out. Only to open a bathroom door to Adrienne and a guy friend having their way with each other, further mortifying Jenna as well as her lab partner. 

“F*** off! You priggish perv!” Adrienne shouted while throwing her shoes and Solo cups at her. Shocked, Jenna quickly shut the door back and ran out of the house and even back down the block, shuddering and crying. 

Finally back at her dorm, Jenna took a long, quiet, hot shower and put on some clean, dry clothes. The sole of Adrienne’s shoe connected with her forehead, so she nursed it with ice while curled up under her blankets. She never wanted to come out again. As much as she wanted to sleep off the night, the images from the block party were still too vivid in her mind. 

 Her phone buzzed. “Mom” lit up the screen. She’ll kill me if she knew, Jenna thought, but ignoring wasn’t in her best interest either. She answered with the best positive, neutral voice she could muster. 

“Hi, honey! What’s wrong?” Mother could tell right away though. 

“I...just crashed a party...” Jenna mumbled, “I imagined being here would be like in the movies.” Jenna tearfully admitted, “I’d have a job, meet somebody, have a lot of fun, but it was horrible!”

Just what Mother thought, but she listened to her daughter’s sobs for a few moments before sharing her wisdom. “Those things aren’t bad to want but you need to rethink if your vision of your future is formed by rom-com movies, made-believe stories about women who are older and further in life than you. Jenna Marie, you’re twenty years old. You’re a college freshman and we still pay your bills. Your father and I pushed you the way we did so you’d know things that are true, right, and honorable. Things good for life. Now that you’re living on your own, we can only hope you still make choices to follow a decent path... ” 

“But I didn’t do anything!” Jenna defended, “It was so messy and crowded! I felt awkward, but I had to take the pizza in--”

“I’m not jumping to any conclusions," Mother calmly stated, “I’m only explaining our wish for you...”

“Everyone here hates me! I’m sure you hate me for it too...” 

“No, dear.” Mother assured. “I am a little disappointed you put yourself in a situation where compromise is easy, but I’m more at peace knowing you are safe and didn’t sell out. You’ll never know the virtues you’ve been taught without the flame and fire of life anyways. Your life is not the basis for a rom-com...but it's not going to be tragic either if you reset your focus.”