My ordinary life

I am once again blessed to be sitting on a picnic table in the middle of the wilderness area after a late August rain. I am so lucky, that the plans Mark and I have made, are so complete. We are both in our fifties, and have the luxury of time. We both completed our professional careers in our early forties, and have not looked back.

Yeah, sure, the money was great, but we were aware of the golden handcuffs of the job, so we avoided the trappings that went with that mindset. No new cars, no big houses, get tents and not campers,... you get the gist. Pennies were saved, and saved with little to no sacrifice of living as who we wanted to be after we retired.

Retired, I think of this as some kind of magical kingdom, one where Mark and I can be together and apart having lives that we each choose, but also having a life together that does not require big whistles and bells, just peaceful times. Living this way since marriage has seasoned use to live this way always.

Mark decided to get a 2^nd career as a starving musician. He went back to school on his EE BS general credits and got a specialized music degree in double bass performance. We joke that it's a starving artist career, cause he does gig work for as low as ten an hour. I think he gets frustrated that he's not getting paid more or that musicians/artists in general do not get paid more; however these are not the times of the private royal benefactors. His 2^nd career is something he loves and I love for him.

I want to read books, write, and garden. These things have become so easy for me to forget about. I've let the internet suck up a lot of my time, the gift of this magical world, that I sport. I am sitting in magic now, surrounded by the sounds of nature; aspen trees in the wind, grasses dancing, fact is all the flora is dancing. Then I see it, the shadow just out of reach.

Is it a shadow or an ultraviolet image? The image is getting closer, maybe ten feet away, and becoming more defined, it looks like an elf, but not an elf, it looks like me! I am looking at my nature self, the self I see when I am alone, sometimes with Mark, when out and about in nature; the natural world.

The image is trying to communicate with me, and at first I don't understand, then I am hit with a gust of wind and can now hear the faux me speak. I respond back to the greeting and we have a bit of small talk about the breezy conditions of the day. Then it's off into the murky explanations of what are you, what am I, and how is this experience happening.

“I am your nature self. The self that is not of you but in you. The projected self that is the beauty you see in life. The ultraviolet translucence, I am is necessary to be seen by the world of insects and plants. These are your totems, they message with you; if you wish, but it's just that you are tuned to them as I am tuned to them.” Why am I being giving this gift of acquaintance now, should I freak out? “The gift has been waiting for you to see, not with your eyes and interpret that with your mind, but to see with your nature.”

Nature that is under attack by the forces of mans exploitation of and on earth. This planet is a gift; me and others are now seeing this to be true. Others are seeing this too; moving human evolution forward so that we may all be able to achieve a return to the Eden of old. It's easy to be one with nature, when you are not worried about paying the bills and such; these are big items of survival. Once you have to no longer worry about survival issues, then we transform into the nature self.

I am to have an adventure with my nature self, the self that I can absorb into the me. The adventure is to be that of restoring the nature that I live with daily. Starting with the 1+ acre owned in the Rocky Mountains. This has become a very important goal of mine, so that when I am old and fragile, I have my own yard to wonder to see the beauty of the back country trails.

It will never be perfect, there will always be humans around. Humans to the left of me, and humans to the right. I think about things like, we must all change and focus on where we have an insect population to eat, if things should get that bad or good, depending on your ethos. I have observed that the evolution of humans is not so fast. My magic for the day is to send a wash of nature to the extent of my powers, so that all within this band will have a refreshing breath of nature. I send out my powers, to help evolve the human experience to more than man-made things. I want to send out the gift to all, a nature self.

The day is slowly moving on, and the joy of being in nature has restored my inner soul. The soul that I have gained by having one more day in the wilderness area. One more day before I must vacate and wait as the season pass, to return. I treasure this wilderness area and all that it represents. It's one of man's triumph for nature.

I find this day so full of everything I wish for me and Mark; the time to take a long walk in nature, and watch the local hawk eat a snake for brunch; the time to kiss and hug; the time to make a better us and a better world for the two of us.

This day is not the same as yesterday, nor will it be repeated in the future; this day is the gift of today; the gift of life; the gift of the breeze, and the natural beauty that I am blessed with as a backdrop to my life.