In-Law Pileup

We were going to be late. There was a three-car pileup on the highway and the traffic was horrendous. “Lewis, its alright, stop being so tense, I already called my parents and told them we were going to be late.” My fiancé chimed.

“I know, still. I can’t help but be nervous, I mean their going to be my future in-laws Abi.” I sighed.

“I’m sure it will be fine, relax, okay. They are just my parents, not velociraptors.” She said softly putting her hand on my arm. I did my best to relax. Abi was the love of my life; it was worth it for her. She is sweet and funny. She is very genuine and just an amazing person. I had never met anyone like her. It was totally worth proposing to her, she’s just the love of my life. If it was important to her, it was important to me.

Eventually we arrived. Almost an hour late at this point. The door opened. I shook Mr. Carter’s hand, then Mrs. Carter’s hand. We went inside. Everything was fine. That’s what I told myself anyway. Dinner was beyond cold by now. That was embarrassing. It was ok though. That’s what her parents told me. Luckily the pasta heated up easily. Conversation kicked off.

“So, do you want kids Lewis?”

“Oh, yes Mrs. Carter. I do.”

“Oh please, call me Diane. That’s lovely, Abi has always been a motherly type.”

“Mom, don’t embarrass me please.”

“Oh, but you have! I remember as a toddler you tried to feed your baby doll real food. You insisted.”

“Mommmm. I was little.”

I sat there awkwardly. I was an awkward person. Abi loved me for it. It just wasn’t helpful in situations where I wanted to say something clever.

“That sounds like Abi.” I tried.

“Ah yes, my little Ab. It seems just yesterday she was helping me “fix” the shed with her own mini tool kit.”

“Wow, Mr. Carter, Abi knows how to use tools? She hit my finger with a hammer yesterday while trying to hang a painting in our apartment.” I gave Abi a cheeky glance.

Abi laughed with a small snort and said, “I said it was an accident and apologized, but your howling was too funny, so my apology didn’t seem real.”

Everyone laughed. Great. Thank God.

“How’s work for you Lewis?” Mr. Carter said.

“Oh, uh. Good.” I said trying to swallow my food before I spoke.

“What is it you do again?”

“Oh, I work at an IT company, I help corporations get their data securely in storage.”

“Interesting.”

Interesting? Abi put her hand on my thigh under the table. Ok. Deep breath. It’s going fine. I just sucked at small talk. Like really sucked.

As dinner progressed, I asked them questions about what they did. I found out Mr. Carter was a lawyer, and Mrs. Carter was a counselor.

Terrifying. They could surely see I was nervous. They were very nice people though. I mean surely, they had to have raised someone as amazing as Abi. Mrs. Carter had a way of making people feel comfortable and welcome. She had a warm laugh and an optimistic voice. Mr. Carter was more reserved, but still had a dry sense of humor and he was very sentimental.

When they went to go grab dessert Abi said. “I think they like you, Lewis.”

“Really?”

“Yes really. You really are likeable.”

They came back in. Dessert was delicious. Abi’s favorite, German chocolate cake.  

I made an attempt at a terrible joke about my job. They laughed. Good. I sat back and relaxed a little.

“Oh, Mom and Dad, Lewis makes the best frozen Moscow mule. We brought the stuff so we can make one.”

“Lovely!” Mrs. Carter smiled.

I’ve done this a hundred times before. Blender. Vodka. Ginger beer. Lime. Ice. I got all the ingredients out and put them into the blender. Everyone was now in the kitchen watching me and chatting. Alright blending time. I turned the blender on. It exploded all over the kitchen.

All I could manage to say was, “Crap.”

“Oh, its alright dear, it was an old blender, you needed to put your hand on the lid.” Mrs. Carter piped as she shuffled forward to grab a towel.

She slipped and fell. Then her husband in an attempt to help her slipped and fell as well. I stared on in horror as my fiancé cackled behind me doubling over in laughter. To my surprise her parents began to laugh as well.  Mrs. Carter just laid back down on the floor and laughed. Mr. Carter let out a deep booming laugh as he sat on the sticky ground.

I took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry. Oh my gosh.”

Mrs. Carter laughed. “Oh, it’s alright! I haven’t laughed this hard in a while.”

“Same for me as well.” Mr. Carter chuckled.

Abi was still cackling. “Oh. My. Gosh. Lewis that was brilliant.”

“Eh.” I flushed and laughed slightly.

Her parents got up as I was still trying to take it all in. I felt more comfortable with the fact that they were laughing it off. We all worked together to clean the mess. Everything seemed more relaxed now. I grinned as I helped Abi clean the spilled Moscow mule, and her parents went to change.

“What a story this will be.” Abi snickered.

I laughed, “Yeah, I’m glad it was fine.”

We eventually said our goodbyes to Abi’s parents and hopped in the car. “See that wasn’t that bad.” Abi said.

“Yeah, I’m sure it will get better too.”

“Exactly. Look on the bright side Mr. Pessimist.”

“Ha-ha. Very funny.” I grinned.

“Seriously though, I’m proud of you.”

“Heh, thanks. Your parents are great.”

“Yeah, see I told you. They’re not velociraptors.” Abi beamed.

The rest of the drive I couldn’t help but smile. Meeting by In-laws to be, wasn’t as bad as I thought. I was happy everything went well, and I was ecstatic Abi was happy.

Plus, the traffic didn’t even bother me on the way home.