Drowned pain

The hospital bed was warm and cozy; Adele's hand was so cold_her skin pale like powder. She was dying, diagnosed with leukaemia. Her mum was sitting right next to her, holding her hand so tight she wouldn't let go. Avril's eyes were full, but she held her tears like a fortress: she has to be strong for her daughter_only happy faces are allowed. 

''Mum, I'm sorry for all those times I made you angry, writing on the wall with my crayon. I am sorry for making you shout at the top of your voice every time I tried to plug in the TV to the electric outlet.''

''No, no baby. Mama is not angry, Mama loves you. Mama wants you to get well soon, so you can write on the wall, jump on the chairs, throw your books everywhere. Mama would love to see you do all those things again.''

''Really?''

''Yes baby.''

''But Mummy I don't feel well.''

''I know, but you'll be fine.''

''Where is Daddy?''

''He's busy at work; he can't come to see you today.''

''Okay mummy.'' Adele didn't care to stress the matter. ''I have a gift for you mum. It's in my magic box, I want you to have it.''

''Ok baby I will. You should stop talking now, you need to save your strength.

''Beep! Beep! Beep! the EKG monitor went off. That was the sound of goodbyes. Adele was gone, she couldn't make it to age five. Painful emotions clouded Avril's head; crying with loud laughter; vibrating at a spot; eyes wet but no tears. She was angry_angry at the world, the doctors, God. She was angry at her husband, James. How could he cheat on her even in Adele's condition.

''Please doctor, bring back my baby. She will be lonely there. Don't let her go doctor, please!

''I'm sorry ma'am, but she's gone.''

''Don't say that, you bastard! I don't care how you do it just bring her back! Bring my baby back.'' Avril wept.

Now she couldn't hold her tears anymore. Her heart was a wreck. She's all alone in a world of cold people. No Adele, no James, just her.

''I hate life'' she sobbed, breaking down into her car seat.

''Adele my baby I'm sorry, Mama is sorry.'' Avril banged her head forcefully on the steering wheel. Avril was stressed, depressed, there was nothing else to live for. Thoughts gradually crept into mind, her anger blossomed. She reached for her dashboard, yanked it open. There was a revolver hand gun hidden under some rough papers. She flipped the gun chamber; three bullets were visible.

''The doctor, the therapist, James, they all have to die.'' She thought silently.

Avril closed the gun chamber, slides the gun into her sweat shirt pocket, got out of the car and started walking back into the hospital. There was something in her eyes; it was a blend of anger, desperation, vengeance and hatred. Once inside the hospital, Avril moved like she was hunting_hunting for the monsters who crossed the line. Swiftly, she moved from one room to the other, one office to the next, her breathe sounding like a raging bull.

''Mrs Sawyer, what are you doing here? I thought you left already. You have to go home and get some rest.''

''Don't give me that bull crap!'' Avril yelled. ''Aren't you satisfied now?! You killed her and now you're playing nice. You all will pay.'' A tear was hanging from her eyelash.

Avril pulled out the revolver hand gun, her hands were shaking like she's got Parkinson. She gathered all her strength, holding the gun straight at the doctor.

''W... wh.... wha... what are you doing? Plea... Please put that away. I beg you.''

The doctor's hands were up in the air. Everybody in the hallway froze. Security guards were making their way up, some in the elevator, others through the stairs.

''You have to pay for what you did, someone has to pay.'' Avril yelled.

In a blink, something changed. It was Avril's eyes, her stern look disappeared. It was as though she saw something. Her next action was unexpected. She withdrew the gun and put it in her mouth.

''No! What are you doing Mrs Sawyer? Please calm down. I know you're hurting and that is okay. But you don't have to hurt this way, your daughter wouldn't want you yo hurt this way.''

''Don't talk about my daughter, you have no right!''

''Mummy I have a gift for you....'' Adele's voice spoke softly in Avril's head. ''Mummy I have a gift for you, it's in my magic box. I want you to have it.'' the voice came again. Avril lost grip of the gun, her eyes were wide open like she was in a trance. Like a puppet, she turned around and ran_staggering out of the hospital, to her car. Nothing mattered to Avril at this point; not the car's speedometer reading or the law_her daughter has a gift for her and that was all that mattered. On getting home she pulled over in the front yard, hurled out of the car and sprang towards the door. Adele's magic box was just there on her bed like it was kept on purpose. Avril paused for a while. The thought of her daughter gone, was the hardest thing she has ever faced in all her years in life. But she has a gift from her and this gives her an unexpected condolence. The box was pretty and pink with shinies. Avril opened the box slowly, in it was a letter placed carefully with a picture of Adele, Avril and James.

''Mum, I am scared. Because I know I'm about to die. I try to be strong, so you won't cry, but Mum I am scared. I don't want to die. I wish I can tell you and Dad how i feel. But you are always fighting and you have sent dad away. I am so lonely. Please forgive Daddy and bring him home.''

Your baby 

💕

Heavy tear rolled down Avril's cheek. Adele's request was too hard to meet but it's the dying wishes of her lovely daughter. Avril picked up her phone and dialed James' number.

''Hello James.''

''Hello.''

''Adele is gone. Can you come to the house?' Silence stood at the other end of the call.

''James, are you there?''

''Yes I'm here, I'll be there in ten.''

James was at an appointment with a specialised team of oncologist, pathologist and hematologist. His friend referred him. He wasn't ready to lose his daughter. The news from Avril hit him hard he was dumb all through the ride home.

''Thank you for coming.''

''Stop that Avril, you know I love you and I will cancel everything and anything to be here right now''

''But Adele is gone_she was lonely before she died because you cheated and lied''Avril choked.

''I never cheated on you Avril, I tried explaining but you wouldn't listen''

''How can you explain holding hands and waist with Adele's therapist, while Adele watched.''

''It was harmless! We were only trying to cheer Adele up. I will never cheat on you Avril, I love you.''

''Oh my God! I'm horrible. I made my own daughter, lonely to death.

''No, no baby, it's not your fault_it's not your fault. Adele wouldn't want you to blame yourself. And she's not gone, she's right here in our hearts, she's right here'' he whispered pulling her softly into his arms.