Bea

The old teapot whistled just before the grandfather clock in the foyer sang its deep chorus; the house was quiet otherwise. Bea smiled, the wrinkles around her eyes responding in melody with her sing-songy voice, "Right on time!"

She poured her tea slowly, to avoid another mishap, but also because that was her normal pace and she had long since become okay with that. Lacing her finger through the delicate china, she took the first, soul refreshing sip of her Earl Grey; the day has now begun.

And what a day it would be--her granddaughter's wedding! Watching the morning fog begin to lift from her front yard, she rocked thoughtfully on her favorite front porch chair. The morning revealing the newly sprouted wildflowers, blooming with promise for a new day. She lived outside of town a little way, facing slightly to the West where the wind blew fresh off the mountains into the plains where she lived.

Sipping her tea, Bea watched the farmers' and workers' trucks begin to head into town. She'd wave at just about anyone passing by since she basically knew 'em all. By her second cup, the sun had risen behind her, and school buses started their routes. Dave passed by with a honk and a wave; he had been the elementary bus driver for nearly fifteen years. It was a quiet morning just like the rest although the mixture of emotions stirring within her was anything but.

The last time she saw her granddaughter had been at Thanksgiving five and a half years prior and although the evening started off well, it hadn't ended that way. Bea's daughter Joliet had been angry with her ever since Hank had gone on to Heaven. Hank was a wonderful father and husband, the sort of glue to the family, but he had passed unexpectedly, and Joliet had blamed Bea for negligence to her father's health.

Hank was a rancher and that was something Joliet never understood about her father--he was stubborn and rarely communicated anything regarding his health; Bea had no idea he was having pains in his abdomen until the autopsy revealed he had, had a massive tumor. But, by then it was too late, and her daughter shut her ears, even worse, her heart towards her mother. They hadn't spoken since that Thanksgiving directly following his passing. It broke Bea's heart when her granddaughter stopped answering her calls just a few short months after that. The house had been quiet and still ever since, and the loneliness was unbearable at times, but she managed. She had her dear church friends and people who knew her around town. Now that Ronnie was getting married, she wondered if things would change.

Pulling into the estate, Bea made her way with the other drivers to the valet. The wedding would begin at 5:00 sharp, as the invitation stated, and she hoped that a seat was possibly saved for her. The entire place had the ambiance of a classic, white wedding with bouquets and center pieces of white roses, snapdragons, stock, and anemones tastefully placed throughout the stone pathway leading to the outdoor courtyard. Seats decorated with delicate, white fabric were carefully placed and divided out into the grass leading to the focal point of the ceremony. A beautifully crafted, classic arch full of greenery and more white roses beautifully framed the distant mountain ranges of Colorado.

Shifting her shawl back over her shoulders, Bea was greeted by a young man in a tuxedo and led to a seat toward the front.

“Is there a seat for me with the family?” Bea asked gently as they walked.

“I will check,” He answered politely and rushed over to another young man.

She braced herself as she waited for the answer and wondered if she should have even come at all.

“I’m sorry madam, the family was instructed to arrive early for pictures, and they will be entering together before the bride.”

“I understand. Thank you for checking,” she answered softly to hold back the hurtful pangs she did not deserve desperately wishing Hank were still alive and by her side. Her heart sank realizing she would not be sitting with the family and again, she wondered if she should have even come at all. Double checking the envelope and invitation for information she took some deep breaths knowing she had been deliberately left out.

As the music began, she decided she would stay through the ceremony then try to say hello to Ronnie and meet her new husband before making the long drive back home. It was there and only there would she allow tears to fall.

A tap on her leg pulled her out of her thoughts, “Excuse me?”

Bea looked down at a pair of eyes as bright blue and expressive as her own, “Well hello young lady. What lovely flowers you have in your hair.”

Her smile was wide and full of life filling her face with expression, “Thank you! I was so excited to get them in! Do you like my dress?” She jumped up and twirled a few times before looking at Bea for approval.

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s just lovely. Are you the flower girl?”

“I am,” She whispered, “I’m not supposed to be outside yet, but it is so pretty! Mommy said we still have a few minutes.”

Bea giggled, “Well your secret is safe with me.”

The young girl plopped herself right next to Bea and started chatting away about her friends and how she would be starting Kindergarten soon. She talked a mile a minute about her dog named Poppie and her cat named Blanche.

“That’s an interesting name for a cat, who named her?”

“My mommy. She loves the show called Golden Girls and I guess Blanche is her favorite.”

Bea thought on it for a moment, it is a popular show, but she figured she would ask, “Who is your mommy?”

The young girl smiled wide, “My mommy is the bride!” She continued on almost without a breath as Bea processed who she was talking to, “She’s getting married today to my daddy! Grandma Jolly said it’s about time they get hitched. It took my daddy long enough after they had me. I’m five and my daddy finally asked mommy to marry him. I’m so happy!”

“That is wonderful!” She was trying to hold back the tears as her newly found great-granddaughter continued to ramble on, “What is your name sweetie?”

“Bea.”

Bea blinked a couple times before responding, “How funny, that’s my name!”

Little Bea cocked her head to the side, “Mommy said they named me after my great-grandmother, but I haven’t met her. Mommy said she is as sweet as pie and tough as nails and she wants to be like her grandma Bea when she grows up!”

It warmed Bea’s heart to hear that and hurt something fierce at the same time.

“Bea!” A very familiar voice pierced through the thoughts.

Joliet.

Bea stood and smiled regardless of her feelings with arms open to embrace her estranged daughter, “Joli—’

“Mom.” She responded curtly not responding to the attempt for a hug. She remained rigid and cold as ice.

Bea retracted gracefully and folded her hands in her lap, “I just met little Bea here.”

“Wonderful. Glad you made it,” She turned her attention to little Bea, “You were told not to come outside yet young lady. Let’s go, wedding’s about to start.”

“Okay Grandma Jolly, I’m sorry,” She beamed back at Bea and waved, “I’ll see you at the party!”

“Joliet?” Bea spoke up gently.

“Not now, mother,” She walked away briskly without even a glance back.

The guilt in the pit of her stomach got immensely worse when she saw her grandmother sitting a few rows behind the rest of the family. Her sweet face was framed beautifully by her white barrel curls, looking as kind as ever and full of pride that her granddaughter was getting married. She should have checked with her mother that Grandma Bea had been contacted about the family arriving early for pictures. She knew her mother was angry with her grandmother, but she didn’t realize how far she would go to prove that point. Ronnie wondered if she should have ever listened to her mother regarding her grandparents at all.

“Is there something wrong, love?” Paul asked as she checked her hair before they made their way to the reception hall.

“I’m okay. I feel really bad about my grandmother.”

He nodded, “I can understand that. Is there anything I can do?”

“Not at the moment.” She shook her head, “I’m sorry. It’s our day and not time for this.”

        Paul grabbed Ronnie’s hands, their eyes meeting, “Ronnie. This is family and things happen when they happen. We have all the days together. From what I’ve heard, your grandma Bea did not seem angry at all when she found out the family was supposed to be here early.”

        “I should have checked, Paul,” she responded sadly.

        “There is still time to see her, she didn’t leave. We will deal with what your mother did at another time.”

        Ronnie took a deep breath and nodded, “You’re right.”

        Paul had always been able to center Ronnie in her chaotic emotions and she was grateful for that. It reminded her of watching her Grandpa Hank’s gentleness with Bea in the summers she spent with them. She thought about what chaotic emotions Grandma Bea had to deal with on her own in the past five years and it only made her realize she was done with this silly feud.

        She had locked herself in the bathroom after the father-daughter and mother-son dances. Joliet stared at the woman in the mirror and wondered if she would ever feel normal again. Was she being incredibly selfish regarding her mother, probably, but what did it matter? She didn’t even get to say goodbye the best friend she had ever known—her dad. Joliet was angry and anger leads you to some silly decisions causing irreparable damage. But she hadn’t expected that seeing her mother would make her chest cave in and cause her grief to come clawing to the surface. There was no rhyme or reason to her actions, Bea had always been a kind and loving mother, supportive of Joliet’s decisions and ready to bail her out of any mess she found herself in. Her mother’s word was good and just as solid as her dad’s.

        The heartache was unbearable—she missed her father; she needed his words and his embrace.

        Tears soaked her face before she realized it, make up streaming and now smearing all over as she attempted to clean it up. She let out a guttural cry of frustration a little too loud and hoped no one was standing outside the door waiting their turn. Rolling her eyes, she sobbed a little longer and seriously considered throwing her stiletto into the mirror.

        “Joliet, why? Why do you do the things that you do?” She gulped a handful of water then bolted from restroom through the back hallway to the bride’s room where they had all gotten ready—no one would see her like this.

        Little Bea scanned the ballroom for white hair Bea but couldn’t find her. She was too short to see, and her shoes were too tight. Just as quickly as the thought came, she kicked her shoes off and bolted through all the adults dancing.

        “Oops! Sorry!” She yelled as a couple almost tripped over her and a very large man stumbled forward almost taking a dive in attempt to miss her. She just wanted someone to talk to and white hair Bea was who she wanted to see.

        Looking around she realized she wasn’t there either, and was now trapped between a few tables. Lifting the tablecloth, she crawled under to get to the other side. It was a whole different world under there with purses and shoes abandoned in the name of the dancing. She popped her head out where there was a wide opening then quickly searched the room. Looking straight ahead she made eye contact with white hair Bea.

        “There you are!” she shrieked as she simultaneously popped up and sprinted forward almost crashing into someone else.

        “Well, hello there,” Her voice was light, sounding like a lullaby, “I was hoping I’d get to see you again.”

        “Me too! I wanted to tell you all about my life, I’m not sure why, but I do. You listen to me, and I like that.”

Bea smiled giving her full attention to the great-granddaughter she never knew she had and the beautiful soul she didn’t know she needed. Her chest tightened with anxiety knowing this may be the last time she’d see little Bea for a long time; maybe ever.

Little Bea’s hair bounced along with her stories as she went on to tell her about where they lived and her pre-K teacher. She laughed about her friends at her mommy’s job and the scary looking guys at her daddy’s job where they built houses for families. She talked about Poppie and Blanche finishing off with a funny story involving a squirrel and a rabbit in their backyard. She was expressive about her birthday presents and Christmas, being her favorite holiday. She joked about her mommy’s cooking and asked if Bea knew how to cook tasty meals. She twirled and fidgeted endearingly as she explained things with quite amount of detail for a five-year-old.

Little Bea was full of life and laughter, a breath of fresh air in a family that had seemingly gone stale. What happened? How did they get there? Family was more than squabbles and drama. They were supposed to be doing life together, gathering for the good and the bad times. Love shared and forgiveness given in the ebbs and flows of life. Bea felt at such a loss and at the same time treasuring this beautiful gift of a little girl who popped into her life and who was there to stay in her heart.

It was in the midst of her thoughts that she felt like someone was staring at her. Emotion stung her chest like a hundred yellow jackets as she looked up to see Ronnie with a sad smile and tears all the same.

“Mommy!” Little Bea was elated to see her mother as she grabbed her leg in a full hug.

“Ronnie,” Bea stood with an open embrace and Ronnie ran right into it.

Bea exhaled a breath which seemed she had been holding in for years. Maybe there was a chance for them to be okay; for their family to be okay. She pulled Ronnie back to get a good look at her, “Oh dear, don’t you go messing up your beautiful wedding day makeup for me.”

“Who better?” Her lips were quivering, and tears fell in spite of the fact it was her wedding day.

“Well, we need to get you cleaned up. We don’t need a photographer catching the bride looking like that crazy ole’ chicken Mollie I always had to shoot with the hose!”

Ronnie coughed a laugh through the tears and wiped the back of her hand across her face.

Little Bea chimed in, “Why are you crying? And why are you hugging my new friend Bea?

Ronnie smiled down at her daughter, “That’s your great-grandmother sweetie.”

Her eyes widened as did her smile, “This whole time?!”

“This whole time,” they said together.

She looked up at Bea, “So when can I come over?”

Ronnie and Bea laughed as Paul walked over, “Can I interrupt?”

“Yes, of course! Grandma, this is Paul, my new husband.”

Bea smiled and brought him into a giant hug, “I’m so happy to meet you, Paul. Now let’s get you cleaned up, Ronnie.”

Paul led little Bea away to the dance floor while the two ladies headed to the bride’s room to freshen up. They chatted the whole way as if no time had passed between them. The cracks in Bea’s heart started to mend and she prayed a silent prayer of thanks to the Lord.

The old teapot whistled just before the grandfather clock in the foyer sang its deep chorus; the house was quiet otherwise. After carefully pouring her tea and sitting back in her rocking chair she thought on the events of the day before. She had stayed up quite late with excitement that little Bea would be spending an entire two weeks there with her while Ronnie and Paul went on their honeymoon. Joliet hadn’t protested that one in the slightest and her thoughts went over to her still estranged daughter. Bea hadn’t expected Joliet to bolt as quickly as she did when her and Ronnie walked into the bride’s room together. She looked like she was touching up her makeup but didn’t even utter a word to either of them, she just left. They didn’t see Joliet the rest of the evening.

Bea rocked back and forth deep in thought, peaceful thoughts beginning to fill what was once all turmoil.

A large SUV with tinted windows pulled up to the front walkway and before Bea could even react, little Bea came bursting out of the back door with a bright sleeping bag in tow, “Hi!” She yelled as she sprinted down the gravel. Bea had some nostalgia remembering the days Ronnie used to do the same thing when she’d arrive for the Summer.

More cracks in her heart started to mend.

Ronnie stepped around the drivers’ side with a big smile and a wave. To her surprise the passenger door opened who she immediately thought to be Paul stepping out to help with the bags but out stepped Joliet, a sad smile on her face. With tears in her eyes and an apology on her heart, she bee-lined right to her mother.