The Wit and Wisdom of State Senator Smoky Arbuckle

You are walking down Main Street in Richardsville, Kentucky on a crisp day in early October. On the street ahead of you, stands a strange little man. He is stoop shouldered and he looks frail and ancient in his plaid pants, suspenders and T shirt that has WRITE IN WILSON printed on it. He also wears a straw hat with the same slogan printed on the hat band. He smiles and approaches you. As he gets closer, you notice that he is carrying a sheaf of papers. As he gets within arm’s reach, he offers you one of the sheets of paper.

You hesitate, but take his paper. He grins broadly and he speaks:

“Friend, the Republicans and Democrats have had their turn at bat. Ain’t it time to give a regular, everyday Kentucky feller a few swings at it?”

His voice is thin and reedy with an Appalachian twang to it. He reminds you of your grandfather. You smile at him and nod. Then, you pass by and head on to Gordy’s Cafe.

You head into Gordy’s, have a seat at the counter and order fries and a chocolate shake. As you eat and drink, you read the little guy’s literature…

WRITE IN LOUIS “BUD” WILSON FOR STATE SENATE, DISTRICT 40

Folks, there’s an election coming up in November and I’m asking you to consider writing me in. Vic Thurman, the Republican is an alright sort of guy, but we have to remember that he’s from the same party that gave us “Tricky Dick” Nixon and we know how that turned out! Also, we all know that a Republican don’t stand a snowball’s chance in Hades around here! As far as our current State Senator, Albert Engle “Smoky” Burnsides, just read these two speeches and read them real close. These are word for word transcriptions of two speeches, given the same day, 24 miles and six hours apart from each other. Is this what we want for four more years? We’ve already had it for 16 years!

SPEECH 1:

August 26, 1977, 1 PM

At the Rossburg Community Center

Thank you! Thank you to Wheeler County Democratic Party Chairman, Wilbur Olson, my old buddy, for that fine introduction (appaluse). Also good to see your Republican Chairman, Mitchell Dowdy with us today! (applause) In fact, I see a bunch of people from the Grand Ol’ Party here! Some of you might eventually come around! (laughter and applause) In my four terms as your State Senator, I have worked with many Republicans in Frankfort. Of course, they are Kentuckians first and foremost. I can honestly say that I ain’t never met a man or woman from the Commonwealth who I didn’t like! As long as they ain’t against the best interests of the people of my district, we can get along! (loud applause, standing ovation) I think I could make a deal with the devil if I thought it would help the people of the 40^th District!(applause)

It was a pleasure to meet with so many of you fine folk and shake your hands today! I’m hear to speak, but mostly to listen! (applause) And I’ve heard your concerns! Most of the concern centers around a proposed building of a dam in the northern part of your county and the southern part of neighboring Doring County. (loud boos) I hear you! I hear you talk about how the pollution caused by this project would cause a radical change to your way of life. How the creeks and streams around here wouldn’t be fit to fish in or swim in! How the irrigation of your farms would be affected Please know that ol’ Smoky is on your side! (raucous applause) I’m with ya, my friends and neighbors! I swear on the graves of my dear, departed Ma and Pa that they will build that dam over my dead body! (standing ovation and a chant of “SMOKY! SMOKY”!)

I see the problem, folk! It’s clear as crystal! Special interests have brought out the big money and they’ve sold your neighbors up in Richardsville a bill of goods and greed has set in up there! Same problem humanity has had sice the Garden of Eden! Pure greed! Get what we think is best for us and forget about our neighbors! Turn our back on the other guys! I’m here to tell you good people, that ain’t what the Commonwealth of Kentucky is about! That ain’t what Smokey Arbuckles is all about! That ain’t what America is all about! (standing ovation and another “SMOKY! SMOKY!” chant that lasts for well over a minute)

Folks, we’ve had an arrangement these last 16 years, I go to Frankfort and I support you and your way of life. Come election time, you support me with your votes. It’s worked right well and I don’t see any reason to change things now! (applause and yet another SMOKY chant)

I see my good friend, Pastor John Gilbert in the audience. Pastor John, did you bring the Good Book with you? Is it a King James? Of course it is! Bring it up here and lay it on the lectern, if you will. Thank you!(puts hand on Bible) On this Holy book, I give you my word of honor that as long as you send me to Frankfort as your State Senator, you people will be the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing that I think about before I fall sleep! I will fight for you like my life was at stake! Everything I do will be to protect your interests and your right! God bless each and every one of of you and God bless the United States of America!

Now, who ya gonna vote for?

(Standing ovation and a “SMOKY! SMOKY” chamt that goes on for several minutes)

SPEECH 2:

August 26, 1977, 7 PM

At the Richardsville Lion’s Club

Thank you! Thank you to Doring County Democratic Party Chairman, Levi Coltrane, my old buddy, for that fine introduction (applause). Also good to see your Republican Mayor, Stan Trueblood, with us tonight! (applause) In fact, I see a bunch of people from the Grand Ol’ Party here! Some of you might eventually come around! (laughter and applause) In my four terms as your State Senator, I have worked with many Republicans in Frankfort. Of course, they are Kentuckians first and foremost. I can honestly say that I ain’t never met a man or woman from the Commonwealth who I didn’t like! As long as they ain’t against the best interests of the people of my district, we can get along! (loud applause, standing ovation) I think I could make a deal with the devil if I thought it would help the people of the 40^th District!(applause)

It was a pleasure to meet with so many of you fine folk and shake your hands today! I’m hear to speak, but mostly to listen! (applause) And I’ve heard your concerns! Most of the concern centers around a proposed building of a dam in the southern part of your county and the Northern part of neighboring Wheeler County. (applause) I hear you! I hear you talk about how the dam will be bring uch needed jobs to this community! How, eventually, a power plant will be built in conjunction with the dam and that will lower utility prices for the hard working folk around here! Please know that ol’ Smoky is on your side! (raucous applause) I’m with ya, my friends and neighbors! I swear on the graves of my dear, departed Ma and Pa that they will build that dam! (standing ovation and a chant of “SMOKY! SMOKY”!)

I see the problem, folk! It’s clear as crystal! Special interests have brought out the big money and they’ve sold your neighbors down in Rossburg a bill of goods and greed has set in up there! Same problem humanity has had sice the Garden of Eden! Pure greed! Get what we think is best for us and forget about our neighbors! We got jobs down here, our power bills ain’t so high! Hang them folk in Richardsville, they say! Turn our back on the other guys! I’m here to tell you good people, that ain’t what the Commonwealth of Kentucky is about! That ain’t what Smokey Arbuckles is all about! That ain’t what America is all about! (standing ovation and another “SMOKY! SMOKY!” chant that lasts for well over a minute)

Folks, we’ve had an arrangement these last 16 years, I go to Frankfort and I support you and your way of life. Come election time, you support me with your votes. It’s worked right well and I don’t see any reason to change things now! (applause and yet another SMOKY chant)

I see my good friend, Pastor Lonnie Akers, in the audience. Pastor Akers, did you bring the Good Book with you? Is it a King James? Of course it is! Bring it up here and lay it on the lectern, if you will. Thank you!(puts hand on Bible) On this Holy book, I give you my word of honor that as long as you send me to Frankfort as your State Senator, you people will be the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing that I think about before I fall sleep! I will fight for you like my life was at stake! Everything I do will be to protect your interests and your right! God bless each and every one of of you and God bless the United States of America!

Now, who ya gonna vote for?

(Standing ovation and a “SMOKY! SMOKY” chamt that goes on for several minutes)

DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM, FOLKS?????