12 February 2019

The day was like any other day, at least in some aspects.

She was setting up the table for dinner. The aroma of chocolate cake and vanilla scented candles wafted through the air.

She was just placing the wine glasses on the table when the doorbell rang. And there he was.

The love of her life.

She opened the door and hugged him tight, breathing in his smell.

It had been months since they had last met.

She walked in, lit the candle that was placed on the table, and switched on some soft music.

All this while, he remained standing, his hands by his sides looking at her attentively.

Oh how she wished that for once he would act normal! Be carefree.

But his defense training had made him that way.

She walked to the table. There he was behind her chair, pulling it out for her like the perfect gentleman. And she fell in love again.

That night was their first wedding anniversary. He wasn't supposed to be with her because he was on duty.

But she knew he would be. Somehow he would manage to come.

Because he had promised. And he always kept his promises.

That day was beautiful. They spoke like they always did before he joined the CRPF.

There were changes obviously.

His training had changed him a lot. The way he looked. The way he spoke. His complexion. Everything.

He had a calm, calculated aura at all times. That person who earlier spoke a lot, now minced his words and spoke only as much was needed. He was more attentive and a better listener than he had been.

It may seem like she didn't like these changes. But how could she not?

She loved him. No matter how much he changed she would always love him.

Like she has for years. And maybe even more.

As the night progressed she couldn't contain her excitement anymore.

It was finally dessert time!

She sauntered to the kitchen to bring it to the table. He looked at her with surprise.

"You are up to something. Is there something you want to say?" he asked her, looking at her attentively as if trying to read her expression.

"No sweetheart. Nothing like that." She replied but she didn't meet his eyes. She just busied herself in bringing the chocolate cake and a knife to the table.

"I baked your favorite dessert. Let's cut it together."

And they did.

And there it was. Something that was just same about him.

His touch and the butterflies she felt when he touched her.

He cut the cake and served it in plates. And that is when he saw something.

There was something inside the cake.

A little glass bottle with a doll in the shape of a baby inside it.

He looked at his wife. Her hand was on her tummy and she was glowing and that is when he realized.

He was going to become a father.

Whooping in joy he turned and hugged her tight. Happy tears were streaming down their cheeks while they stood there in each others arms- hugging, crying, celebrating the most beautiful moment of their life.

He moved a little away and kissed her on her forehead and then on her tummy. There was no baby bump yet but to the two parents it barely mattered.

He spoke the baby, kissed it and touched her tummy again and again. And when the night was over he carried her to her bedroom as if she were as fragile as glass.

That day their bedroom was filled with love, passion and happiness and they barely slept a wink.

The next morning he woke up and prepared breakfast for her- pancakes with butter and maple syrup- her favorite. He fed her by his hand, hugged her tight and kissed her goodbye.

"Daddy will be back soon baby. I hope one day you become as beautiful and kind as your mother." He told his baby. They didn't know the gender yet but he imagined it to be a girl.

"Or a gentleman like your father." She completed looking at him.

"I love you sweetheart. Thank you for this amazing gift. You are going to be an amazing mother. Brave, patient and beautiful. I know that. I'll be back soon, okay? I promise." saying that he kissed her forehead and hugged her tight.

His eyes were filled with tears. Sad ones this time. As if he knew it was a final goodbye. And his promise would remain unfulfilled.

Even after two years she can't forget that night. When she looks at her daughter she can't help but think of his last words to her and the baby.

As if he knew he was going to die on the battlefield. Or he knew the baby was going to be a girl.

He said exactly what she needed to hear that time. That affirmation that she could be a good mother.

Her thoughts rivet to that morning, just two days after he found out he was going to be a father.

That morning when she got the shock of her life.

The call that changed her life.

" Mam your husband was on the bus that was in the Phulwama bomb blast. He was one of the brave CRPF soldiers who sacrificed his life for the nation. Please accept my condolences."

The personnel on the phone continued talking. He told her that a flight ticket had been booked for her to go to Srinagar. And someone would be there to pick her from home.

But she was barely paying attention.

She sank down to the floor and stared at the wall in silence.

She knew he would come back. He promised he would.

She kept thinking about the last night she spent with him. The joy on his face when he found out she was pregnant. The way he looked at her. The way he pampered her that day.

His last words to her and the baby and how he kissed her stomach so tenderly as if she was made of glass and needed to be protected.

He would never be able to see his daughter.

It has been two years to that incident today. Their daughter Myra is 18 months old. Every night she holds their marriage photograph in her hand and falls asleep only after she hears another another story about her daddy.

She watched her baby girl sleep and took the photograph from her hands. She kissed her and said good night.

She then wiped the photograph gently, kissed his forehead and whispered,

"Myra has your eyes. And everyday when I look at them I think that you would have loved her so much and been so proud of her. She is so beautiful and kind. Just like you asked her to be."