Just the beginning.

It was afternoon and I was leaving work. I was right about 6:30AM coming fast that morning. I did not wake up anymore that night, but I did not feel rested. I was driving back to my home. A country farm that was my parents. They had moved out of the area after both retiring and me being their only child, they left me the house. I had moved in with the previous boyfriend thinking that we were going to turn out together and had the home on the market for 2 years, with no buyers. Having moved back in, I began to feel more lonely. There had always been barn cats and I am now feeling like a cat lady. A new cat seems to show up every week or so. I do not let them in, but occasionally leave some food for them in the disconnected summer kitchen. 

Besides my accumulating cats, it is me at the farm house. I do not care for it being here alone. The home is quite large considering my parents had built an addition on to the original two story home. It makes the home elongated and the fact that my adoptive grandmother had died in the home, I am not too thrilled about either. But it is neither here nor there. I had always felt comfortable in the farm house until the break up. I had stayed a few times while living with my boyfriend and had never felt uneasy. 

With the nightmares and now the uneasy feeling of being in the home alone, I felt dread as I drove on the back roads leading back to my house. I was getting frustrated that I felt this way. I was not paying attention as I approached my home when I hit something. I slammed on the breaks. It had rolled over my car. There were cracks in the hood and windshield with dabs of blood on it as well. I was shouting profanities as I looked in my mirrors and my windows to see what the hell I hit. All the sudden it hit me, a shooting pain in my abdomen that I could only compare to pregnancy from seeing videos of birth in my health class. Seconds later my head felt as if it was splitting, not just an ache, but pressure; my eyes felt as though they were bulging from my head. I was in a panic, but felt as though I could not move. I was in my car, on a country back road, I had just hit something unspecific and I am not in unspeakable pain. My vision began to blur, but not before I saw a reflection in my driver’s side mirror. Black all in the mirror, like a shadow, and the eyes… the same eyes from my nightmare. That is the last thing I remember.

I felt horrible when I came to. I was on the couch in my living room. The front door had been left open but my screen door was shut. I must have got myself in the drive way and made it in my home before completely losing it. I began to move and felt pain all over my body, but not the pain from before blacking out, but fatigue. I went to sit up, but could not do it and rolled on my side vomiting off the couch. I was very angry with myself. I was laying there building up the energy to sit up, reflecting on the passed day. I had the nightmare, a restless night, hit “something” coming home, had some sort of painful episode and now I puked on my floor. I hate vomit, especially when I need to clean it up. 

After the incident and struggle to clean up my own mess, I changed into some comfortable clothes, appearance meant nothing and made myself a cup of hot tea to try and relax my nerves and my stomach. My stomach felt like a fire was smoldering underneath the surface. I had nothing to eat at work that day and assumed that was the reason why. I also had no appetite which had been normal since the break-up, so I skipped another meal that day. 

Going back to the living room I had woke-up in, I turned the fan on high, somewhat cause of the heat I was feeling, but mostly due to the lingering smell of my bodily fluids. I turned on the TV and looked for something to watch to keep my mind off of my odd episode I had experienced on my way home. Junk TV mostly. It is the most entertaining hearing about how teenagers got pregnant and are now surprised at how difficult life is or an adult cartoon that has questionable and inappropriate humor tied in to the 30 minute story. I was sucked in for a while when I realized it was getting dark. I also had barely touched my tea. I went to the microwave to re-heat my tea and sat on the screened in back porch to watch the sunset. 

On the porch, I sipped the tea and lite up a cigarette for the nicotine, not to settle my stomach but to help me relax. I picked up the habit in high school, going through my rebellious stage of sneaking out and underage drinking. I believe I am strong enough to quit, if I have the proper motivation. Living alone, after a break-up has done the opposite. I exhaled and took another sip. The tea was helping. The sun was going down quick and I was enjoying my view, my cigarette, the country air and the sounds of nature. After putting out my cigarette and mug of tea, I curled up in a blanket, not for warmth but for comfort. I had shut my eyes suddenly feeling the exhaustion hit me. Kicking my feet up on the porch furniture, I leaned back in my chair and feel asleep. I had no worries and was at peace. 

This time was different. I went through the dream again with the hellish demon-child and the man in black. The child was holding on tight this time and had grown from my previous dream; still gray-skinned and bald like an infant straight from the womb, but bigger, big enough to walk. He was looking me straight in the eye while holding my arm, the man in black was gone. His eyes were blue, an icy faint blue. He opened his mouth and his teeth were like a sharks teeth, razor sharp and terrifying. I screamed out as he went to bite my wrist.