The River

My town was next to a river, a winding, never ending river that was wide and deep. We weren't allowed to go near it, some of the people in my town say if we were to go too close we would drown and be in pain. Maybe I should have listened because I did drown, but didn’t die. Would I be sorry for leaving to the river, maybe.

I did not die, I had fallen in, I had hit the bottom of the rocky river below, it was deep and cold and the rushing water swept me away, I emerged from the water, I was nowhere near home and my bones felt stiff from the cold.

I kicked and clawed to the side of the river and pulled myself up, I had cuts and scratches littering my body, but everything felt different, the sun felt warmer and the grass felt softer. Everything looked and felt so new. 

I stood up, nearly falling over before I looked back at the river and then around me. There was a dark forest on the side I was on and a bright field on the other side of the river. The river didn't change, still fast, still cold, but that's fine. I began to walk towards the dark forest.

In my town I was told that the forest represented “femininity in the EYES of a young man, an unexplored realm full of the unknown”, but what did it mean for a girl like myself? The forest also represents other things like mothers and life, but also temptation in life, guess the temptation to go see it was overwhelming.  

I began to run faster and closer to the forest, the forest didn’t seem all that dark, but felt warm and like life was really thriving. It was so different then the river, the river was fast and cold, but the forest grew slow and felt warm. 

I climbed some of the trees, falling down some and hurting my tailbone, scraping my knees and hands. Others I would make to the top before a bird would come and peck me down, or a squirrel would jump at me or even a bug crawling on me, but I met a dove.

I walked further in, the forest didn’t seem to end and it got dark, so dark you could hardly see your hands in front of your face, but I had my dove with me when small lighting bugs began to drift closer to me, I followed them and there glowing butts, my dove next to me, chirping sweet words along the way and pecking me on the cheek.

I followed them out of the forest, I was in the bright field I had seen earlier and the same river there, I followed the lighting bugs until they drifted away and left me in a field alone with my dove, I glanced around before my eyes caught the sight of the moon and stars. I laid down in the tall grass and watched the stars move across the shy, and then the sun came back, but my dove was gone.

I was alone again, but in the bright field, I walked back to the river, fast and cold, but I didn’t fear it, I walked alongside it, letting it guide me. What did a river represent? My town made it seem like something to fear, something dark, but looking at it and being near it, it was scary, but it was exhilarating. I followed it for what felt like years, but grew to only feel like seconds. My legs grew tired, but soon grew used to the pain, my hair began to grow longer so I pulled it back. 

I followed the river for who knew how long before I saw my town, I walked to it, it looked the same, the people were the same, but I didn’t feel the same and looking at myself I wasn't the same, my hands rough, I was taller and I could see more, feel more, and my hair was long, but not the same color I had when I left. I was in pain after going to that river, but not that type of pain. I felt out of place when I looked around my town. 

Maybe it was good that I went to the river and I wasn't sorry for going to the river, the river was something scary and something that went by fast, but I don’t regret going to the river and falling in.  I may have fallen in the river, maybe I did get scratched and bruised, maybe I didn’t regret going to it, but I did not die, I did the opposite when I fell in the river, it was cold and then warm, it was dark and then light and I did so many times, maybe I shouldn't have fallen, but I don't regret it, and don't regret my dove I lost along the way.

As I walked around my village I saw kids running around before they ran up to me, tugging at my hands and clothes, they asked question after question and then came the question about the river, would I tell them to stay away from the river like I was told? It did hurt, but not that way, but it was worth it.

My town was next to a river, a winding, never ending river. Everyday I would watch children go to it, some pick their feet in and some tiptoe nearby, some fall in and some jump while some walk alongside it, they all come back to the never ending river with the town.

I miss the river, I miss the forest and the lighting bugs, I didn’t miss my dove as much, but I appreciate that dove, but I had my turn, I had my time in the field and forest, I had my time to climb the trees and watch the stars and moon and that is just fine with me.