Forgetting

Forgetting 

by Rhae McKinley

I walk into the kitchen to take my medicine. Someone has been here again. My dishes aren’t put away in the right places. Some of my food is missing, my favorite nutty buddy’s are completely gone. I just got more at the store. I’ll have to make another trip. The living room is the same. The remote is missing and my blankets are folded wrong. Where are my throw pillows? I finally find the remote in my china cabinet. How odd.  

This has been going on for several weeks now. I go into a room and things aren’t where they belong. Sometimes, I don’t find them at all. Like the nutty buddy’s. Whoever is doing this moves things just enough to make me feel crazy. Just enough to make me notice that things aren’t the way they’re supposed to be. 

I have a ritual at night. Check the windows one by one. Lock, lock, lock. Next, check the doors, both the screen door and the wooden ones. Front and back. I do this twice, or I can’t sleep. Lock, lock, lock again. I haven’t slept well since this started. Checking gives me enough peace of mind that I can close my eyes and at least try. 

They’re still getting in somehow, whoever is doing this. It has to be that kid down the street. Steven, I think. I gave his parents a key when I went to visit my sister last year. I was gone for a whole week. Won’t do that again, it's too hot where she lives. They fed my bird for me while I was gone. Didn’t even ask anything for it. 

I don’t think I ever got my key back. Paying for it now it seems. That kid looks shifty every time I see him. He pretends not to know what I’m talking about when I ask him about my things. I offered him some nutty buddy’s and he said ‘I don’t eat food with that many preservatives.’ HA! You won’t throw me off your trail that easily! He even offered to set up cameras to help me catch the culprit! Can you believe it? Nice try. Like I would think it wasn’t him if he offered to help me. 

This has been going on for a few months now. I couldn’t find my shoes yesterday. I had to wear my slippers to the store. This morning I couldn't find my medicine. I decided to talk to Steven's (or was it Kevin?) parents. Whatever his name is, his parents weren’t much help. They assured me that they gave me the key back after my trip. Said they brought it over and we talked about my trip for a while. Apparently I thought it was too hot, nonsense. It’s so cold here that I was glad to warm up. I should turn the heat up now. They said their son would never do something like sneak into my house. Of course they think that. That's why I never had kids. Blinds you. Told them that too. I didn’t like the way they looked at me. Judging. Pitying. I don’t need their pity. It has to be him. I’ll keep watching. 

My bird is dead. My only companion is gone. My sweet parakeet. I feel lost. Alone. I have to know who’s doing this. Her death was the last straw. What kind of monster kills an innocent animal? She sang the prettiest songs to me every morning. I walk from room to room, hoping for a hint of her song still hanging in the air. Hoping it isn’t true. I bury her in the backyard. 

That kid down the street is coming over after school to put up cameras around the house. One by the front door and two inside. One in the living room and one in the kitchen. Since that's where things are happening most he says. I should know who is doing this in a few days, he says. I wait.

Today a kid showed up at my door, he said he has some videos I should see. He said he lives down the street with his parents. I have no idea what he is talking about, but he seems nice so I let him in. I’m so lonely lately. My bird died last week. I offer him some treats but he says he doesn’t eat much candy. Looks like I’m all out anyway. We sit on my couch, he opens up a device and a video plays. 

I’m startled when the “time-lapse” as he calls it is of my front door. I ask what this is about, but he tells me to just keep watching. I don’t like this. I fidget in my seat, uncomfortable. The video keeps playing. It shows no one but me going in and out for a few days. Why has he been watching me?

He starts another video, this one of the living room we’re in now. I’m on edge, why are we watching this? Who put cameras in my house? I look around and there they are. How did I not notice them before? I look back at the video and see myself watching tv. I get up and put the remote in the china cabinet. Why did I do that? A few more seconds and the video shows me looking for the remote later, I seem upset. 

The next video is of my kitchen. There are cameras in there too? I’m shocked to see myself putting things in strange places. The knives don’t go in the towel drawer, someone could cut their hand! Is that how I cut my hand? There I am eating all my nutter budder’s in one sitting! Later I see myself looking for the food. I’m crying, in the video and right now. I don’t want to keep watching. But the boy asks me to watch the whole thing. I see myself putting my medicine in the microwave. I get up now to go get it. When was the last time I took it?

I get my medicine out of the microwave and sit it on the counter. There's a noise behind me. A kid is in my kitchen, I jump. Startled. Why is he in my house? The kid tells me he's sorry, then leaves. He looked sad. Why is he sad? He shouldn’t be in my house. How did he get in? What's he sorry for? Has he been stealing my things? 

I think I was looking for something. I turn around. There’s my medicine sitting on the counter. I pick it up. I sit it down. What was the kid sorry for? I think and I think. Maybe it was me. Maybe he's sorry because I did all those things to myself. I forgot to feed my bird. I hid the remote.

I walk into the living room. The door is unlocked. I lock it. When did I go outside? I always lock the door when I come back inside. Otherwise someone might get in.

I walk into the kitchen. I see my medicine. There it is, hiding in plain sight. I should take it. I don't think I’ve had it today.