Maybe in another life

Content warning: This story contains sexually explicit content and themes of grief and mental health challenges.

Maybe in another life

"Maybe in another life, we will have

our happily ever after, I still love you

and I always will."

Clara

“I love you baby.” I say to him while we’re slow dancing in our kitchen, waiting for cookies to bake.

“I love you too my love.” He says and kisses me deeply.

Me and Leo met when I was 25 and he was 26. We met at a bookstore here in London, we were both reaching for the same book and when our eyes met, it happened…THE look. We both felt insane connection and fireworks, this is how I knew he was the one. We started dating a week after, cause when you know you know and we were together ever since. It’s been 4 years and I still love him the same.

When the oven beeps, we got the chocolate chip cookies out and they look so good. We wait for them to cool down for 15 minutes before we ate them.

“So baby, tell me what’s one thing you wish that would last forever?” He asks while we cuddle in bed, my head on his chest, our legs tangled, his one hand around my waist holding me like he doesn’t want to let go and the other gently stroking my hair.

I look up at him, to meet his gaze.

“our love.” I say, my voice full of emotions.

He smiles and looks at me, like I put stars on the sky just for him.

“And it will baby, I promise. I love you so deeply.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I kissed him deeply and passionately.

Leo

I will do anything for Clara. This girl changed everything for me for the better. I’m the luckiest man alive to get to call her mine, I love her more than anything else in this world. She is the love of life. I can’t imagine being with someone else then her, my girl.

“My love what if we go to Paris, for a weekend?” I say to her and her whole face lights up.

“oh my god yes baby.” She says, jump into my arms and kisses me. When she pulls back, she looks me in the eyes,

“but when? Tomorrow?”

I smile at her,

“You guessed it right, tomorrow. I already booked our flight and hotel too. I want us to have some getaway before I go to the business trip to Greece.”

When we arrive to Paris we go straight to our hotel room, drop our bags and lay on the bed.

“Where should we go baby?” she asks, looking up at me with her brown eyes

“We could go to that bakery boris boulangerie and then take a walk around Eifel tower.”

After that she changed into her beautiful white dress, that hugs her curves just right and she added a white ribbon to her honey blonde hair. She looks like an angel, my angel.

“You look beautiful darling.” I say to her, my hands pulling her closer in a tight hug. We stay like this for a minute, before my lips start kissing down her neck. I pin her against the wall and whisper to her ear,

“we won’t make it out of this hotel room, if you look like that babe.”

She looks at me all Innocent, and says,

“Like what baby?”

I smirk and press a kiss to her shoulder,

“You know, this hot and sexy in that dress, you know damn well what that does to me.”

She smiles at me.

“hmm I don’t think I know, show me”

In that moment I kiss her, hungry, needy and possessive. Like I need to taste her all over again, when we both pull away all breathless, I say.

“want me to show you more my love?”

“you know I do” she smirks at me.

I kiss her again, but this time with more need and I press her closer to me, so she can feel how hard I am. She gasps in my mouth and I lift her up, caring her back to bed, my lips never leaving her’s. I gently lay her down and go on top of her. Bakery and a walk around Eifel tower are long forgotten.

“I guess we will make love in a city of love baby.” I say to her, before my lips crush into her’s one more time.

Clara

When he pulls away, he looks at me with so much hunger and need.

“you ready my love?” He asks

“For you, always.”

He smirks at me

“I will take my time with you baby, and after we will go to dinner, but first I will have my dessert.”

In that moment he starts kissing my jaw, my neck and my collarbone. He starts taking my dress off slowly and when it falls on the floor, he looks at me and says,

“My perfect girl, just mine.”

Then he takes off my bra, and starts sucking my nipples that are already hard. He trails lower with his kisses and when he comes to the part where I’m aching for him the most, he stops, takes his shirt off and looks at me, from between my legs.

“gonna ruin you so hard your legs will shake baby, just like always.”

He takes my panties off and when he touches me just slightly with his fingers, I whimper and push my hips closer.

“so impatient for me, you know I love that, also you are so wet already baby.”

Then he pushes 2 fingers inside me, I moan his name and tuck my fingers through his hair, holding onto him to ground myself.

“oh Leo.”

He smirks again,

“that’s right baby, say my name again.”

And I do say it, louder this time. I’m so close to the edge that I will explode if I don’t release now.

“I’m so close baby.”

“I know you are darling, now come for me on my fingers.”

And then I do, I come so hard that I see stars. After that he kisses me and licks his fingers.

“I’m not done with you yet baby.” He says before his mouth start devouring me.

Leo

When we were done, we went out to dinner. I took her to a nice restaurant here in Paris, we both order spaghetti. After dinner we took a walk around Eifel tower. Suddenly I stop walking, pull her closer to me and say,

“I’m so lucky to have you Clara.” She looks at me, her eyes sparkling more then the Eifel tower.

“I think I’m the lucky one baby, I love you so much.”

In that moment I kiss her, this time slowly like I’m trying to memorize the shape of her lips all over again. I truly am the luckiest man in the world, cause I get to call her mine.

The next day we are exploring around Paris, we only have today, cause tomorrow we go home and then the next day I’m flying to Greece for my business trip. We visit 2 museums, went to the bakery we wanted to go to yesterday, Disneyland and got dinner in another nice restaurant.

“Morning my love” I say to her, when she opens her eyes.

“Morning honey, I don’t wanna leave Paris today.”

I pull her closer to me,

“Me either baby, I wanna stay here longer.” I say and kiss her forehead.

After breakfast we went on a walk around Paris one more time, walking hand in hand, taking pictures and just enjoying being together. When we got home it was almost 4pm.

“what do you wanna do now my love, we have some more time, before I leave tomorrow.” I say to her, wrapping my arms around her.

“we can cuddle, watch a movie and order takeout.”

I smile and kiss the top of her head.

“I like that.”

The next few hours we spend cuddling on a couch and watching rom-coms. Most of the time we just kissing and whispering sweet nothings, but these words are actually everything. I love my girl so much, I can’t imagine my life without her. She is my everything, I would be lost without Clara in my life. She gets me like no one else does, she is my first love and forever will be.

“baby you gotta go to sleep, it’s late.” She says.

“I wanna stay like this for a little bit more.”

“I want that too, but it’s almost 2am, you gotta get up at 7 in the morning already.”

I look down at her, and smile

“Let’s go to bed then, we can cuddle while falling asleep.”

My alarm starts ringing five minutes before seven, me and Clara both woke up at the same time. We both get up, I got dressed and packed some more things, while she prepared breakfast for me, my flight is at 9am.

“I will be back in 3 days baby, and then I will take you back to Paris, but this time for more then just a weekend and I have a surprise for you.”

She smiles at me and she could light up the whole universe.

“now I can’t wait even more, I love you and already miss you.”

“me too my love.” And then I kiss her, one last time before I go to Greece.

Clara

The next 3 days while he was in Greece, we were texting each other and face timing, whenever we both had time. Today he is coming back home around 8pm, I mean he was supposed to come, but now it’s 9 already and I did call him, but he doesn’t answer. The plane is probably just a bit late, I thought until my phone rang.

“hi this a police, did I got miss Bennett on the phone?” A man’s voice asks.

“Yes, this is she.” I say, my voice a little shaky with fear. In that moment, he tells me that the plane crashed. When the call ended I didn’t know what to feel, so I just stood there completely numb and frozen, I just lost the love of my life. I feel so confused, alone, sad, heartbroken and completely lost. When it hits me what happened, I start crying and screaming, cause I can’t believe that’s true. I lay on our bed and cry while hugging his pillow wishing it was him, but he will never come back again, my Leo will never come back again. I cry myself to sleep and when I woke up, my head hurts but my heart a lot more. I check my phone and I have so many missed calls from our families and friends, but I don’t wanna talk to anyone today, so I just turn it off. I spent a whole day in bed crying, wearing his T-shirt that smells like him, wishing this is all just a really bad nightmare. I barely ate today, I’m so heartbroken, sad and anxious, that I can’t even eat. I just can’t believe that I lost him forever.

The next month was terrible, we had his funeral a week after it happened. I still can’t eat or sleep properly, cause of a heartbreak and loss, most of the nights I still cry myself to sleep and I barely can mange at work. Sometimes I’m thinking of just ending it all, so I can be with him, but then I don’t want our loved ones to hurt even more that they already do. Besides I’m also pregnant, I figured yesterday when I took a test. When I saw that it’s positive I started sobbing on a bathroom floor, cause it’s not fair that he isn’t here. After hours of crying, I decided that I will keep the baby, cause at least I have a part of him with me forever and I will took care of our child for both of us. I just really wish he would be here with me, to see all of this.

And when I thought that this is everything, today when I came from work, I decided that I will look in his drawer for the first time, since it happened, cause I miss him and I found a hidden box in one bigger box. I open it and saw that is an engagement ring. I broke down in tears the second I saw it, and I couldn’t stop. So this was a surprise he planed for me in Paris, he wanted to propose, we supposed to be engaged. Realizing that, made me cry even more, after hours I stopped and put a ring on my finger, another part of him that will be with me. Today I decided that I will talk to him for the first time in a month, so while I lay in bed, I look at the ceiling and say,

“hi my love, it’s me your girl. I miss you, I miss you so much every second of a day. It hurts so bad, cause you aren’t here anymore, I think about you and our memories all the time. Sometimes I just want to end it, so I can be with you, but I’m not gonna do that, I can’t. I have to be here for our baby, yesterday I found out that I’m pregnant, you will be a dad my love. I really wish you were here, if it’s a boy I will name him after you and if it’s a girl I will name her Lea, so it’s similar. I also found a ring, and I put it on, I can’t believe we’re engaged. I love you baby, I love you and miss you so much.”

I said and broke down in tears again, while slowly falling asleep.

It’s been 4 months and it still hurts as bad as it was that day, yesterday I found out that our baby will be a girl, so I will name her Lea, our little princess. Last month I decided that I will go to therapy and it’s helping a little bit, I eat more now, mostly cause I have to, cause of our girl and I don’t cry myself to sleep every night, of course it still hurts and it will, but I have to be strong for our daughter. And sadly not every love last, some people lose love of their lives, maybe the timing isn’t right or they die just like mine did. It’s the worst heartbreak, but eventually you get used to it, not over it, you just get used to living with that pain. He is still here in my every memory, every time I will look at our daughter I will see him, and every time I look at my ring I remember us. He was and still is the love of my life and I will try every day to live for him, myself and our little girl, till we see each other again my love. And one more thing if your love last, you are lucky, don’t take it for granted. In another life I will be his girl and we will have our happily ever after. I never thought that I will lost him, but the

whole world ended when it happened to me, I love him and I always will. He was and forever will be my first and only love.