Heartbreaks of a Lifetime

“There they are,” Stella murmured. “The first baby robins of the year.” 

“Prettier than last year’s,” Ethan added, listening to the baby birds’ cheerful chirping. As Stella gazed at the bird's nest high in the tree, Ethan crouched down and picked a few mayflowers that were growing on the forest floor. 

“Well, we should probably be getting back home now,” Stella mused after a minute or two. When she turned around, Ethan was down on one knee, flowers in one hand, a sparkly diamond ring in the other. Stella gasped and put her hands over her mouth. 

“Stella Thompson, will you marry me?” Ethan asked. Stella’s eyes were watering and a tear trickled down her cheek. 

“Ethan, you know it’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted since kindergarten,” Stella said, taking the ring and the mayflowers. The couple kissed in the fading light of the setting sun while the baby birds chirped even louder, singing jubilantly. 

>>>>>

If there ever was a perfect day, Stella and Ethan’s first day as a married couple was one. It was sunny and warm, without a cloud in the sky. Stella didn’t want to go anywhere for a honeymoon, saying that it would be too expensive and she wanted to stay in her house and get it all ready. 

Ethan had bought the house the day after he got engaged. Stella wanted to be surprised, so she knew nothing about the house she’d live in with her husband. 

The house was white, with a big porch in the front and beautiful landscaping in the front yard. The backyard wasn’t fenced in because “fences make homes seem so shy” Stella had said when Ethan asked her what her dream house looked like. 

The backyard was even better than the front. It had a small deck with a grill and table, and the rest of the yard was for Stella to design herself. They had no neighbors within two miles, making their new home a peaceful oasis, a place where they could live their lives and be a family. 

When Ethan pulled into the driveway, Stella squealed with delight. 

“Oh, Ethan, it’s perfect!” she gushed, stepping out of the car and running to the front door, painted a pale blue that matched the sky. 

With every room, Stella grew even more in love with the house. It was so home-y, just like a house should be. Ethan watched with pride when Stella looked at the view from the back porch. Green hills gently rolled as far as the eye could see. Small colorful dots on the hillsides were bunches of wildflowers that swayed in small breezes blowing across the property. 

That night, the newlyweds were almost done unpacking the things they’d brought. Stella’s family had gifted her and Ethan beautiful dishes--white with pale blue accents on the rims. Ethan’s family gifted him and Stella a black labrador which Stella promptly named Coco. 

Coco’s bed was in the living room, with Stella and Ethan’s bedroom right by the kitchen. A guest bedroom was designated by the front door, and plans were made for a library. The other two vacant rooms would be used for storage until they had occupants. 

That night, as Ethan laid in bed, he thought about the wonderful life in front of him. He had a beautiful wife, a dog that worshipped everyone, and hopeful dreams for the future. What more could a man wish for?

>>>>>

After almost a year of living in the little house, Stella was pregnant with a baby girl. Ethan had been positively tickled pink when Stella had told him the news. He was to be a father as well as a husband!

The baby’s future room was all ready, but now all the two could do was wait for their third. Ethan was so anxious, he stayed home from work every day to make sure Stella was okay. 

Finally, it happened. Talia Madison Grey was born right in the springtime, just like her mother. Like her father, she had a contagious smile and a beautiful laugh. 

A week after Talia was born, Stella was released from the hospital and Talia was brought home. The small house was no longer quiet. It was full of giggles, burbles, and other baby noises. Stella just adored her baby, and Ethan was proud as a peacock over his daughter. 

But even the things that seem invincible, that seem like they’ll never go away leave us. After a month of Talia’s life, she lived no more. The daughter that had inhabited that house for so little was gone, leaving only a tearful memory of days full of laughter. 

The funeral was held in June, exactly one month since the day Talia was born. Stella cried as she had never had before, and Ethan spent the rest of the week trying not to cry. Stella’s mother had loved young Talia dearly and stayed for a month after the funeral because she was not well enough to go home. Everyone was looking solemn in their mourning black, and after the ceremony was a smattering of “I’m sorry”s “you must be so sad”s, and “she was too young”s. 

Even to this day, Stella still remembers little Talia, her first daughter who had only lived a month, but who had brought more joy to Stella’s life than anyone else could have in a lifetime. 

For the first time in her life, Stella knew what it was like to be utterly and truly sad. 

>>>>>

For a long time after little Talia’s death, Stella couldn’t bear to leave the house, but eventually, Ethan had to go back to work, and Stella had to resume a normal routine. She spent most of her days outside, tending to her garden, and reading by the wildflowers in the hills. 

One night, Ethan came home with news. 

“There’s an orphanage not too far from here, and I visited it after work today. One of the little girls there, Grace Moss, is only ten years old and she’s the funniest thing. Please, Stella, I know you don’t want another child, but Grace is just perfect for us. Please, Stella, can we adopt her?” Ethan asked, his face pleading. Stella hesitated. She wanted to say yes, but her heart only had room for one young girl, Talia. Another daughter would be too risky. Suppose she got sick? Suppose she’s kidnapped and never seen again? Suppose she runs away and dies trying to get back? 

Ethan, noticing Stella’s hesitation knelt before her. 

“Stella, you know I loved Talia. You know I could never replace her. But this isn’t replacing Talia-it’s merely giving her a sister. Please, Stella. If you only met Grace, you’d know how I feel.” Stella looked up at Ethan. 

“Okay,” she whispered. “We can adopt her if you’d like it. I can’t promise I’ll truly love her, but I’ll be good to her. 

When Ethan came home with Grace, Stella knew immediately that she would love this child. Grace had a thing about her that made everyone love her and want to be with her, no matter who you were. 

Grace loved working in Stella’s garden with her and tended to the plants like they were human children. After school, she would immediately go to the flowers and recount her day to them. Such a child Stella had never encountered before. 

After a year of living with the Greys, Grace died of pneumonia and was buried in the graveyard right beside Talia. Stella cried even more bitterly over Grace’s death than Talia’s. Ethan cried too this time. After Grace’s death, Stella vowed to not love anyone else as much as she’d loved Grace and Talia, the two girls that had made her life beautiful until they died. 

>>>>>

Not long after Grace died, Coco, the fearless, wonderful, amazing dog the Grey family had owned since they were married died too. At this point, Stella had completely given up loving anyone, except Ethan. Although she had her doubts about whether she could trust him to stay alive and not to leave her too. 

Coco was buried by Grace and Talia, in the shady corner of the graveyard that was always covered in mayflowers in the spring. 

>>>>>

By the time they died, both Stella and Ethan had gone through so many heartbreaks, they hardly knew how to love anymore, but they still did it: loving each other and their house and garden and all the things that had brought them comfort after every death. 

They’d had two dogs after Coco, and two girls after Grace and Talia. Each one was loved dearly, and each one was missed even more dearly after they’d passed. 

“I’m not afraid to die. When I do I shall see my daughters again,” Stella had proclaimed when the doctor told her she wouldn’t survive.