Squirrel's Lesson

‘You know what? I quit!”, I yelled out from across the room, my voice echoing of the walls.

A sigh came from across the dining room as the bearded, old man puffed slowly on his pipe. The air smelled of sweet maple and a hazy ring encircled his head while he looked at me briefly and closed his eyes as if searching for something in the deep recesses of the the labyrinth of his mind.

I looked at him, desparate for some acknowledgement or something. I wanted to be right. I wanted someone to tell me that this was the right decision. Perhaps I really did want magical miracle money to come raining down from the sky, I didnt know.

I did my bit at work. I did what people had said I should do, which was “put your head down and work! You’ll get noticed!” This was the mantra we were given when we graduated from high school.

So what happened? Yeah, I worked but as far as getting noticed was concerned, all it got me was harder work and less pay. Maybe they noticed that I could just “take it” without complaint. Management told me to be grateful that I had a job at all.

So I sat there..in the dining room, waiting for a response from the old man, smoking the pipe.

Finally, he spoke. “I am not sure what you want me to say except perhaps maybe to ask a question”

I sighed….”okay. What’s the question?”

He leaned forward, tapping his pipe in an ashtray before continuing. “Does the act of quitting solve the problem?”

Now, it was my turn. Then I felt it. The trap. The corporate burnout.. the performance squeeze..the monthly figures and endless spreadsheets all encircling me, squeezing me.

Then there was the other question that loomed in front of me, as large as Mt. Everest. How will I make a living? Who would hire me, if I quit?

“I don’t know. I dont have a plan…I dont know how to live without the job…but…”

He leaned back..smoking the pipe. “Well, that is an honest answer. You need that. Some say that the beginning of wisdom is saying “I don’t know.” He turned his head and gazed out the window, watching as the birds landed on the window sill, eating sunflower seeds that his wife had left previously.

“You know, “ the old man continued. “The world of man, especially the corporate man can be a cold place. I know this.”

“I have previously told you that its always best to be grateful that you even have an occupation. During the Great Depression, many people had no jobs and some of them starved. And yes, a lot of it was caused by the actions of a very few people.”

Puff…..hahhhhhhh

Puff……hahhhhhh

“One of the worst things about it was that it separated people. We all felt alone and powerless.”

He gestured towards the window. “See the birds of the air. They don’t work, yet the Lord feeds them.”

I listened carefully while I looked out the window and watched as the birds and squirrels ate.

“That’s the key, then? That I am not alone?”

He puffed on his pipe again..”its part of it. The Great Depression was a major trial for all of us, yet our family managed to survive it. Mind you, Its not something I would wish on anyone, but there is a lesson here.”

“Now, if your question is about your own self worth, the lesson is still applicable. Your own self worth is not determined by the job”

I continued to watch the squirrels scurrying up the dogwood trees then leaping from branch to branch, never once questioning their abilities or their own sense of worth. They were just squirrels participating in a never ending dance of nature, completely in tune with the harmony of nature..

“I remember part of this.” I said. “We used to talk about this under the trees. You read me the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayamm”

“I remember that too. We also read Ecclesiasticus as well. I enjoyed that time and I appreciate your presence now.

“I always thought you had a depressed viewpoint, as if the weight of the world on your shoulders”.

The old man sighed and hung is head. “This was my regret. It was never my intention to burden you with that. I did feel that I had a lot of burdens as you feel now. I…..” he paused for a moment placing a hand over his eyes, breathing slowly.

“I let it get to me. It was hard. It was so hard”. He paused again as a single tear slid down his face, onto the hair of his beard.”

“And now?” I asked.

“Now, I suppose I have the luxury of perspective. I want you to know that, in spite of your circumstances, I believe in you and in a way, that’s probably exactly what you need to hear”

I bowed my head in front of the window and a tear slid down my cheek as well. “I think your right, “ I said turning my head to face him again only to find that he was gone.

My lips trembled as I looked around the empty dining room that once held hutches filled with books and various figurines, and the long, dining table.

I turned back to the window and watched as birds flew off in different directions while the buldozers marched up the path.

“Hey uh, you about done? We really need to get started”

I nodded my head to the foreman and left the old house and walked along the gravel path to the sidewalk and watched the demolition of the old home from a safe distance.

Smoke billowed from the bulldozers pushes relentlessly against the centuries old bricks. I gasped as I heard the clattering sounds of falling debris as the old house met its final end.

From the corner of my eye, I saw squirrels leaping from tree to tree, still contiuning their dance. As I watched, one of the squirrels paused and turned towards me, winked and then jumped through a circle of smoke.